[quote author="caycifish" date=1248230103][quote author="roundcorners" date=1248217738]I think everyone mentioned everything, I guess I just would like to add one more thing? When couples marry late, they just assume to have kids soon or immediately; for some couples we know a lot of marital issues arise after marriage, thus delaying having kids. Plan on at least three years of solid marriage before having kids; the couples that got pregnant within the first year of marriage scare us. Your marriage is basically on hold for the next 18 years! You didn?t even have time to really get to know each other yet. All I can say is that if we had kids within the first two years of marriage, the kid would be pretty screwed up? Its tough now, but at lease we are trying to figure this out as a team, just can?t imagine having a kid and having to deal with all the drama of adjusting to each other, finances, in-laws, fights and dynamics?</blockquote>
That is sound advice, RC.
Also -
"Although older mothers may face infertility issues, may have more difficult pregnancies, and are more likely to have Cesareans (National Institute of Health), on an overall, the positives outweigh the possible problems for the women over 35 who are fueling the trend to motherhood later-among them, a group called Motherhood Later rather than Sooner, a resource for midlife mothers. Women over 38 using assisted reproductive methods adjusted in almost the same ways to pregnancy as those who were younger, and older mothers scored higher on things like ability to handle challenges and flexibility according to a study conducted in Sidney, Australia further underscoring Gregory's results.
John Mirowsky, sociology professor at the Population Center at University of Texas who also works with the National Institute of Health says the ideal age to give birth is between 34 and 40. On the plus side he reports that those mothers experience better health, have healthier babies, and are less likely to turn to risky behavior. Much of this excellent news relates to the fact that older mothers tend to have more education and to be more financially as well as emotionally secure.
When people say: "It isn't fair to have a child at your age." "You may not live to see your son or daughter married." Or, "you won't be around to know your grandchildren." You can reply, "I'll be here." Professor Mirowsky found that health problems drop steadily the longer that first birth was delayed, up to about age 34, then rise increasingly steeply, particularly after about age 40. However, The New England Centenarian Study conducted by Boston University Medical Center found that women who give birth after 40 were four times more likely to live to 100 or longer than were women who gave birth at younger ages."
<a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons/200810/forty-is-the-new-20-having-babies">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons/200810/forty-is-the-new-20-having-babies</a></blockquote>
Sorry, but as a physician I felt it was necessary to chime in. Notwithstanding what professor Mirowsky believes, there is a wealth of data available showing quite indisputably the other way, that as women advance in their 30s and 40s, pregnancies become riskier for both mother and child and more likely to have unfavorable outcomes and complications: higher risk of ectopic pregnancy, premature birth, miscarriage, stillbirth, birth defects, down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities, gestational diabetes (with its own risks to mother and baby), hypertension, placental problems, etc. Interestingly, it's not just the mother's age that matters; studies suggest that both increased maternal and paternal age may be linked to increased risk of developing autism spectrum disorders (could be a reason behind increased frequency of autistic disorders we see nowadays? No, vaccines do not cause autism, but advanced parental age may play a role...)
Also, the data on women giving birth after 40 being more likely to live to 100 doesn't necessarily indicate that it is a good thing to delay your pregnancy to your 40s. It could easily mean that the women who were still capable to conceive after 40 were healthier than other women (i.e. being capable to become pregnant acted to "select" for healthier women, who were more likely to continue remain healthy as they aged).
Having said all this, the decision to become pregnant should be made when both partners feel they are ready for this, no matter what age they have. Only if they are older, more medical attention should be sought.
I'm not saying these to discourage or dishearten anyone. Living means dealing with risks. Risk of a woman having a child with Down syndrome increases by a factor of 10 if she becomes pregnant at 40, compared with becoming pregnant at 30. Does it mean that a 40-year old woman will definitely give birth to a child with Down syndrome? Obviously not, the probability is still quite low (about 1 in 100 births at that age.) The key is making an informed decision and doing prenatal tests (if termination is acceptable to the mother).
Also, I'm not saying that there is no benefit to parenthood at a later age - the socioeconomic stability and the ability to provide a better nest are undeniable. You can have kids at a younger age, and risk not being able to provide them with the good parenting you wanted, and it can be just as harmful. I totally agree with that, but suggesting that there are health benefits associated with pregnancy at older age is unsubstantiated and almost completely wrong.
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