Things You Wish You Could Tell People

[quote author="zubs"]I'm really glad I don' t know any of you, because if I did, I would more than likely watch what I say.....It's nice to be on the internets.[/quote]
I think zubs is one of those bad drivers I try to use my heat vision on as I pass by them.

The funny thing is... they are so oblivious (or on their cell phone) they wouldn't notice if fire really was coming out of my eyes.
 
[quote author="haiku"]My luck on a flight
Fatboy you're taking my space
Please buy 2 tickets[/quote]


You are just hilarious!!
 
[quote author="graphrix"]
[quote author="trrenter"]Driving down Jamboree today on the way to work I wish I could have gotten out of my car at the light at Baranca and told the woman.

Your driving sucks because you are trying to put on your make up while you are doing 35MPH instead of the posted 60!! Not only that the make up doesn't help because you are fat and ugly.[/quote]

If you are on Facebook, you should become a fan of "Yelling at the car in front of you." You should maybe even contribute that gem you just experienced. One of my favorites...

"That stupid intoxicated pilot can fly a jet more competently at 600 MPH than you can drive your car at freaking 40. Where did YOU take Driver's Ed???"[/quote]

She is slow, but she is still ahead of you. <!-- s:p -->:p<!-- s:p -->
 
[quote author="purpletulip"]
[quote author="graphrix"]

If you are on Facebook, you should become a fan of "Yelling at the car in front of you." You should maybe even contribute that gem you just experienced. One of my favorites...

"That stupid intoxicated pilot can fly a jet more competently at 600 MPH than you can drive your car at freaking 40. Where did YOU take Driver's Ed???"[/quote]

She is slow, but she is still ahead of you. <!-- s:p -->:p<!-- s:p -->[/quote]

True but that is because she is the next line of defenders in front of me that I have to zig zag around.

Dealing with the damn cement mixing trucks in the morning is bad enough on Jamboree but the stupid people just make it worse.
 
To all the people in any retail establishment that ranges from starbucks to home depot that wait until the cashier is done ringing them up and then telling them their total to decide to get their wallet out.

"Did you not realize they were going to ask you to pay for that? Next time have your card out and ready to pay. Better yet swipe it through the pad while they are ringing you up. Pres Ok then Ok again and then leave."
 
To all the people who can't be bothered to walk 10 or 20 feet to put their shopping carts where they belong: "why are you so lazy and self absorbed that you will block a parking spot just to save yourself 30 seconds and a few steps?

To all the people loading cases of two buck chuck into the trunk of their $80K Mercedes: "Why?!!!"
 
Because they care much more about appearances and have purchased a few decanters in order to fool their friends in to thinking they are serving expensive wine.
 
It is FRUSTRATED, not FUSTRATED! Note the R!

And if you mean "I couldn't care less," say that, not "I could care less." Could care less means you actually do care.

Also, using words like "vehicle" instead of "car" doesn't make you sound smarter. It just makes you sound like one of the losers on Judge Judy.
 
To the guy in front of me in the "Express" checkout at Stater Bros. this afternoon:

Sir,

I realize you're cranky for one reason or another, but that doesn't give you cause to break out SHOUTING at your 20something roller derby daughter and 50something no spine wife because you got the wrong Reeces Peanut Butter cups, you know, in the words of your pink haired daughter "the ones Nana can eat".

Not only that, but it was way uncool to the line behind you to run through three credit cards before you got one to get accepted on a $11 purchase. Have you considered cash?

Regards,

Resident Big Meanie
 
[quote author="novaseline"]To the guy in front of me in the "Express" checkout at Stater Bros. this afternoon:

Sir,

I realize you're cranky for one reason or another, but that doesn't give you cause to break out SHOUTING at your 20something roller derby daughter and 50something no spine wife because you got the wrong Reeces Peanut Butter cups, you know, in the words of your pink haired daughter "the ones Nana can eat".

Not only that, but it was way uncool to the line behind you to run through three credit cards before you got one to get accepted on a $11 purchase. Have you considered cash?

Regards,

Resident Big Meanie
[/quote]

I know which Reese's those are... the sugar free ones that I just refilled along with mom's prescriptions and diapers last night. Taking care of "nana" isn't easy.
 
Pops wasn't any too fond of getting the "right" Reeses. Big time jerkoff was more accurate. Wasn't wearing Ed Hardy, so it made identifying him harder.
 
I am the Watch Commander.
No, there is no one higher than me available.
Yes, sometimes police officers raise their voices.
Perhaps it's because you were being a jackass?
 
Stolen from a comment on "Yelling at the car in front of you".

I want to take one of those water babies (the rubber dolls you fill with water) and fill it with Strawberry Preserves. The next time someone's riding my tail, I'm going to toss it out the window and hopefully hit their windshield. The reaction when they see a baby explode into red chunks all over their field of vision will be priceless. My guess is that they'll never ride someone's tail again.

Cayci and I both LOL'd on that one. Going to the block now to find some water babies and the grocery store for some strawberry preserves.
 
To the person who jumped in front of my wife last night.

When you there is a line for ordering your food and a line for phone in orders don't jump in front of someone in the wrong line then demand they take your order there you jack ass. We phoned in our order for a reason.

To the person at the counter that allowed this tell them the line is for phone in orders and they need to get on the regular line. My wife was having a ****ty day and that didn't help. Espcially since the jackass took 5 minutes to order.
 
[quote author="steppingup"]To all the people who can't be bothered to walk 10 or 20 feet to put their shopping carts where they belong: "why are you so lazy and self absorbed that you will block a parking spot just to save yourself 30 seconds and a few steps?

To all the people loading cases of two buck chuck into the trunk of their $80K Mercedes: "Why?!!!"[/quote]

Because they've seen the results of the no-labels blind taste tests by "renowned" wine connoisseurs... and 2 buck chuck kicking the crap out of $50 dollar bottles.

Other than my experiences with a few on-vineyard select tastings, I have yet to find a better petite syrah than a particular brand which sells regularly for 8.99. And the 2004/2005 Edna Valley Chardonnay (before it gained notoriety) used to sell for $7 at costco and was among the best available for any price.

The best wine is the stuff you enjoy.


Also - I wish I could tell drivers on the 405: IF YOU ARE NOT ENGAGED IN PASSING, OR HAULING ASS, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS IN THE FAR LEFT LANE. PLEASE MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.
 
[quote author="novaseline"]To the guy in front of me in the "Express" checkout at Stater Bros. this afternoon:

Sir,

I realize you're cranky for one reason or another, but that doesn't give you cause to break out SHOUTING at your 20something roller derby daughter and 50something no spine wife because you got the wrong Reeces Peanut Butter cups, you know, in the words of your pink haired daughter "the ones Nana can eat".

Not only that, but it was way uncool to the line behind you to run through three credit cards before you got one to get accepted on a $11 purchase. Have you considered cash?

Regards,

Resident Big Meanie
[/quote]

LOL.
3 maxed out credit cards. Maybe extraneous purchases, like any form of candy, shouldn't be on the menu.
 
To the lady in the Target parking lot:

I wasn't the one who left the shopping cart in the middle of the space you wanted to park in, causing you to get out of your car, move the cart, and then get back into your car to park. I did the right thing and took my used cart back to that slot where you're supposed to put your cart. And I did it lugging a 24 pound toddler, too. I realize that I was parked right next to your space and I was changing my son's pants right as you were parking, so maybe I looked discombobulated, but it was not me who left the cart there. So please get over your assumptions and stop glaring at me.
 
To the principal of Woodbury Elementary School who last week sent home an email grouping single mothers together with widows and the elderly as objects of pity. Please don't assume that just because I'm a single mother, I'm on welfare. I am better educated and make more money than you do. And by the way, since your instructions were for me to send my son to school with cash for the holiday boutique, and then that cash got stolen, please know that I thought long and hard about keeping your stupid "Pay it Forward" $10 for my charity-needing, single-mother self. But I decided it would be wrong. And I wish the juvenile delinquent who stole my money, and the other one who stole my son's DS when he was instructed to bring it to CDC for the day a few months ago, had the same integrity and character as my son and I do. How much do you want to bet that those criminals live in "good, Christian households"? Yeah, my athiest lack of morality just shines through in comparison, eh?
 
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