[quote author="traceimage" date=1258698688][quote author="sad.machine" date=1258683883][quote author="traceimage" date=1258643963][quote author="sad.machine" date=1258633055][quote author="traceimage" date=1258608763][quote author="CK" date=1258530042]
Just for the record and on a totally personal note, we like Irvine because there is a much bigger proportion of families (and kids) that look just like ours as compared to anywhere else we have ever been. Eight of 22 kids in her class are half white/asian just like our daughter. We like that. As a bi-racial child we want her to be raised a setting that reflects her. Not that one can't thrive wherever they live (don't need anyone chiding me for that) --- but kids can be mean, and being an oddity in a sea of people who look don't look like you is just one more hurdle. Southern California is a very diverse place --- but it also can be very segregated. Living in a place where most of the kids look like me (south OC) or like her mother (Arcadia) is not the environment we were looking for. This one fits.</blockquote>
I have a biracial child and I've thought about this as well. He's not school-age yet, but when he is, I'd want him to have at least some kids in his class who look like him. 8 of 22 kids, that's a lot! Is that typical of your daughter's classes over the years, or is it an anomaly? I think almost anywhere in OC, there'd be at least 1 or 2 mixed Asian/white kids in any given class, but 1/3 of the class? That's a lot higher than I would have thought!</blockquote>
you should try to raise him so that he isn't so race conscious. whenever i meet a person and the first thing he asks me is "whats your nationality?" (they mean ethnicity but they are morons) its very annoying. whenever i meet a korean person i get asked that 99% of the time.</blockquote>
I just don't want him to feel too much like a minority.</blockquote>
i understand your concern.
he will only feel a minority if he is made conscious of it and it is stressed that he is different. trust me he doesnt need any help there, others will do that on their own. when i was a little kid i thought i was white (im asian). i had no idea. it wasn't until race was stressed as this important thing (thanks liberals) by schools and people around me that i felt conscious that i was not part of the majority...and that will happen if his race/ethnic background is always discussed.
i hate to sound cliche but fortunately in this country as long as you have american values a person of any race is considered american. this can not be said for countries like china or japan, france etc.
if race is stressed i guarantee one thing will happen (because I have seen it happen to many of my friends who are mixed)--he will end up gravitating to one side and completely reject/shun his other side. i have seen mixed asian/white friends who secretly want to don a blonde wig and go hang ten or vice versa.</blockquote>
I don't agree with you about the origins of racial consciousness. You don't think that my son would eventually notice that some people look like mommy, some people look like daddy, and some look different from both of us? I'm not gonna obsess about race, but I'm not going to sweep the whole issue under the rug and hope he never notices, either. Like CK, I think it will be good for my son to have the opportunity to know and be friends with other mixed-race kids. We want him to be proud of and feel connected to both parts of his heritage. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want him to go to an entirely mixed Asian/white school (even if one existed) - I want him to be able to experience some real-world diversity! Ideally he'll have friends from lots of different backgrounds and not judge anyone based on race. But at the same time, it's nice to have others around like you.</blockquote>
im not saying that he doesn't notice, but just that its a difference with no significance. its like a white brunette person who sees blondes, redheads, and brunettes. of course he sees it, but no one ever beat it into his head that he needs to have brunette pride and join brunette professional associations or have hair diversity celebrations at school so to him what does it matter what hair color that person is. he doesnt try to make sure his circle of friends reflects the proper diversity of the hair society.
<strong>bottom line, the more you "celebrate diversity" and be race and ethnically conscious the greater the divide you create between the groups.</strong>
i grew up in a predominantly white area. even so i did not give any importance to race until i went to high school where it had a small korean minority that was so recluse and so racially focused that it made me consciously aware of what race every person was. after that, i went to college where ethnic cheerleaders from all sides furthered the divide in my head.
im slowly trying to reset that in myself.
you said ideally you;d want him to have friends of different backgrounds? ideally, you shouldn't care.