Oblivious Parents

Honestly eating out really hasn't been a problem. I don't want to claim "Master" parent status because there are plenty of other area's for improvement in my parenting!!



The please and thank you part is easy. I won't let the server take their order unless they say please and thank you. We have actually had parents compliment us on our kids manners.



The part of no standing up and bothering others is part SoCal prevention and the other part is we don't tolerate it.



We tell them to sit down and behave and use their manners. I think one of them challenged us before and I took him outside opened the trunk of the car and told him to get in until we were done with dinner....



Just kidding I told him if he couldn't behave next time he stayed home with a babysitter.



Maybe I am lucky who knows but I wouldn't let my kids do that.
 
[quote author="USCTrojanCPA" date=1256096191]

What kind of punishment awaits them if they disobey? The belt?</blockquote>
When I was a yewt... I had a choice:

<em>

"Do you want the slipper or the belt?"

</em>

I don't know of any kid who would choose the belt, unless it was like the velour belt of a bathrobe. And for any of you who was subject to such inhumane treatment (heh)... how many of you faked how much it hurt?
 
[quote author="SoCal78" date=1256097910]Cameray - how old was this girl?</blockquote>


That's what I wondered too. If this is a child under 3 or 4, good luck trying to completely control this child at a restaurant. This child also wouldn't know how to order from a waiter/waitress.
 
[quote author="JVNA" date=1256106774][quote author="SoCal78" date=1256097910]Cameray - how old was this girl?</blockquote>


That's what I wondered too. If this is a child under 3 or 4, good luck trying to completely control this child at a restaurant. This child also wouldn't know how to order from a waiter/waitress.</blockquote>


Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner (out shopping). I'd say she was about 5 or 6.
 
It's threads like these that make me content with my decision not to infect any woman with a child. Not only am I glad to be childless, but it's probably kept me out of prison; if I misbehaved as a child, the consequences were immediate and severe and left me bawling as a child. Hell, kids got swats with a wooden paddle as punishment in my 6th grade middle school... in the Newport-Mesa school district. If you strike a child today, expect a visit from CPS and possibly a criminal conviction.
 
[quote author="Nude" date=1256134771]It's threads like these that make me content with my decision not to infect any woman with a child. Not only am I glad to be childless, but it's probably kept me out of prison; <strong>if I misbehaved as a child, the consequences were immediate and severe and left me bawling as a child</strong>. Hell, kids got swats with a wooden paddle as punishment in my 6th grade middle school... in the Newport-Mesa school district. If you strike a child today, expect a visit from CPS and possibly a criminal conviction.</blockquote>


I grew up in the same type of household. I always wanted a family like Beaver's on Leave It to Beaver. I decided not to have any kids but I do have some wonderful grandbabies (thanks to my husband).
 
[quote author="JVNA" date=1256106774][quote author="SoCal78" date=1256097910]Cameray - how old was this girl?</blockquote>


That's what I wondered too. If this is a child under 3 or 4, good luck trying to completely control this child at a restaurant. This child also wouldn't know how to order from a waiter/waitress.</blockquote>


We have a young child and we went out last night. When the little guy didn't want to sit down the wife and I took turns walking around with him.



He didn't want to sit in the high chair any longer. If we decided it to make him stay I am sure the poeple around us would get iratated especially since we are Yankee fans and they were kicking the Angels tails. The main thing is we are responsible for not letting that happen.



I don't mean to be a jerk but too many times parents say they can't control their kids. Well then eat at home.



If my kid starts crying in a restauarant or standing up in a booth bothering the people behind us then I pick him up and we go play out side. When my wife is done she takes over while I eat or vice versa.



I don't think I have a right to negatively effect anyone around me because my child decided to act out.



With a toddler running around and two older boys sometimes it is hard but I doubt anyone going out to eat thinks "you know what would be nice if we could sit next to a crying kid that wants to stand up and face us the entire time we eat.



Why do the parents let it happen? They let it happen so they can enjoy their dinner. They have put themselves above the person in the booth next to them. As long as their kid isn't bothering them then everything is good.



If you are out and you see a guy in a yankees hat chasing a toddler around while his wife is eating it is because my children are my responsibilty.
 
[quote author="trrenter" date=1256167446]If my kid starts crying in a restauarant or standing up in a booth bothering the people behind us then I pick him up and we go play out side. When my wife is done she takes over while I eat or vice versa.</blockquote>


Thank you - on a number of levels. First, thank you for being considerate to those around you. Thank you for realizing that small children are not socialized adults, and that their figety ways are the result of them need to burn off energy but that they haven't developed to the point where they can save it for later. I'm not a "spare the rod" type, but I get a little uncomfortable when people physically discipline their children when a lesser alternative might solve the problem. Sometimes a smack is the only thing that will get a child's attention, but sometimes a smack is the result of not looking for other alternatives.



I also admire that you have the energy! I know sometimes we eat out during the week because we are too tired from work to cook and then clean. I can only imagine being that tired and then having to actively parent on top of it.
 
[quote author="roundcorners" date=1255861611]I know the parents should have their daughter disciplined better, and I'm sure it was a little uncomfortable for your friends, but you guys are all taking this a little too seriously... common Irvine people!! It's like we forgot how to interact in a social situation.. ok, so it's not like we are at get-together, party or someone's house, but you are out at a public restaurant. Kids will be kids, they are bored, wiggly, parents are exhausted; especially if there are more than one... JUST ROLL WITH IT, stop being so uptight, about having the perfect private Soup Plantation experience... have fun, meet and greet your fellow Irvinian, their kids.. they just might turn out to be a neighbor, a class-mate of your child's', who knows...</blockquote>


Agree.



This restaurant is overrun with kids. Young kids eat free, and mac and cheese is always on the menu. That's why I take my baby there- the vast majority of the time she blends right in...I hope. I only bring the kid to restaurants when she's in a good mood. Continued rowdiness means taking a walk outside, but the strange thing about kids is they have minds of their own- you never know when they're going to start having fun, and how long it will last. Sometimes ignoring it will lead to a quicker resolution than fighting it.



Second, parents of active kids are more likely "beat down" than oblivious. I laugh at 60 hour work weeks. 80 hours- meh. But leave me with an energetic and determined baby for a weekend and I'm desperately looking forward to a nice relaxing Monday at work. I now understand why some stay at home moms have full time nannies- totally understand.



Last, these kids will be paying for the debts of their parents and grandparents for the majority of their adult lives. This country wasn't run into the ground on their watch. Give them a break.



As Tyler Durden said:



"God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."



"Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not... #*$% with us. "



Probably meant for Gen X, but at least some of us enjoyed living in the Matrix for a few years. The younger generations will only have vague memories or stories about the Roaring 90s/early 00s.
 
Parenting younger kids can be very challenging. Especially in the 3-5 Range.

In a restaurant we always tried to tell the waitress. We have 45 Minutes.

After that he is going to start getting fussy and others around us will become aware.

"So stay on your toe`s. We will tip you good so dont hit us with slow service". "You have been warned".

I dont car how much you threaten or beat your child. Kids are just this way at that age.



These days the boy is now 24. So thats finished. I cant wait till he has his own little kids.



But my GF has 7 and 10 year old daughters.

The girls can get a little fiesty if its a long meal. But they are a joy to be with 99% of the time.

You just got to keep track of them if they disappear in the ladies room for too long.

But its great we can dress them up and take them anyplace expensive and they will be good as gold.

But at a Sizzler or Taco Bell. Look out. They know we will lower our guard and let them play a little.
 
[quote author="trrenter" date=1256167446][quote author="JVNA" date=1256106774][quote author="SoCal78" date=1256097910]Cameray - how old was this girl?</blockquote>


That's what I wondered too. If this is a child under 3 or 4, good luck trying to completely control this child at a restaurant. This child also wouldn't know how to order from a waiter/waitress.</blockquote>


We have a young child and we went out last night. When the little guy didn't want to sit down the wife and I took turns walking around with him.



He didn't want to sit in the high chair any longer. If we decided it to make him stay I am sure the poeple around us would get iratated especially since we are Yankee fans and they were kicking the Angels tails. The main thing is we are responsible for not letting that happen.



I don't mean to be a jerk but too many times parents say they can't control their kids. Well then eat at home.



If my kid starts crying in a restauarant or standing up in a booth bothering the people behind us then I pick him up and we go play out side. When my wife is done she takes over while I eat or vice versa.



I don't think I have a right to negatively effect anyone around me because my child decided to act out.



With a toddler running around and two older boys sometimes it is hard but I doubt anyone going out to eat thinks "you know what would be nice if we could sit next to a crying kid that wants to stand up and face us the entire time we eat.



Why do the parents let it happen? They let it happen so they can enjoy their dinner. They have put themselves above the person in the booth next to them. As long as their kid isn't bothering them then everything is good.



If you are out and you see a guy in a yankees hat chasing a toddler around while his wife is eating it is because my children are my responsibilty.</blockquote>


I agree with your mentality. We are the same. If/when our twin 2 yr olds start to get restless, we have toys and other things to try to entertain them at the table with. If not, we'll walk them or do other things. We don't let them harass people sitting in the next booth. Between trying to feed and entertain the kids, we've learned to eat really fast. You usually only have a second to take a bite between feeding/entertaining. Eating quick also shortens the time you eat at restaurants (before they get really restless and melts down).
 
It's one of my HUGE pet peeves when I'm eating at a restaurant and some kid at a nearby table turns to stare at me. It's really annoying. I usually wave and smile, but I'm thinking, I hope the parents will notice soon and make their kid turn around before I throw a dinner roll at him/her.



I agree with trrenter and I strongly believe that if you take your kid to a restaurant and he/she misbehaves, it's your resonsibility to deal with it. I have a toddler and we don't take him out to real restaurants that often, but when we do, we take him outside when he acts up. We'll take turns if necessary so we can at least eat. Once we went out with some friends with 2 little kids, and they were behaving sooo badly. Running around and screaming. (The kids, not our friends.) And our friends didn't even do anything about it. They just sighed and went on with the meal while everyone was glaring at our table because of the unruly kids. It was embarrassing.
 
[quote author="traceimage" date=1256361696]It's one of my HUGE pet peeves when I'm eating at a restaurant and some kid at a nearby table turns to stare at me. It's really annoying. I usually wave and smile, but I'm thinking, I hope the parents will notice soon and make their kid turn around before I throw a dinner roll at him/her.



I agree with trrenter and I strongly believe that if you take your kid to a restaurant and he/she misbehaves, it's your resonsibility to deal with it. I have a toddler and we don't take him out to real restaurants that often, but when we do, we take him outside when he acts up. We'll take turns if necessary so we can at least eat. <strong>Once we went out with some friends with 2 little kids, and they were behaving sooo badly. Running around and screaming.</strong> (The kids, not our friends.) And our friends didn't even do anything about it. They just sighed and went on with the meal while everyone was glaring at our table because of the unruly kids. It was embarrassing.</blockquote>


My friends had a similar experience. They went to church with another couple who had two small children. It was Christmas time and there was a tree with fake presents under it. The kids were out of control and would not sit still. The dad tried to corral them in but to no avail and both of them made a break for it screaming as they ran down the aisle toward the presents. LOL! It's funny now but it was sure embarrassing then.
 
On a related note; My brother was married in a church in England and the vicar banned babies from attending since they might disrupt his service. He allowed children but not babies. This didn't make any sense to me since I thought churches were supposed to be 'family' occasions. My wife almost refused to go because of this
 
<blockquote>On a related note; My brother was married in a church in England and the vicar banned babies from attending since they might disrupt his service. He allowed children but not babies. This didn?t make any sense to me since I thought churches were supposed to be ?family? occasions. My wife almost refused to go because of this.

</blockquote>


Your right, it doesn't make sense to me either.
 
Some pastors say a church can?t call itself a family of faith unless every member, however young, is welcomed and included in worship services. Another view is that children should stay put in services and be taught by their parents how to behave during worship.



<a href="http://www.religionnews.com/index.php?/rnstext/they_cry_aloud_just_not_in_the_pews/">http://www.religionnews.com/index.php?/rnstext/they_cry_aloud_just_not_in_the_pews/</a>
 
My wife and I went to dinner last night. I have nothing but empathy for a single working mom doing her math homework with her first grader daughter, and the time pressures it must entail, but really? Right in the middle of a sit down restaurant? They worked right through the whole meal. It was quite discourteous and distracting.



When they brought out the soup, the (distracted) mom ?remembered? she had neglected to tell the server about some arcane food allergy when she ordered. They had to bring out something else. I thought I was just being edgy and Mr. Crankypants until they left and got mad dogged by the table across from me. Even my wife was pissed. They imposed on everyone in the restaurant.



I think this is like one of two times total I?ve ever been bothered in a restaurant by somebody with kids. Both times I wasn?t annoyed with the kids, it was the parents!
 
I don't remember where I got this. It may have been from IHB, but I thought it appropriate to this thread.
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