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socal78

Well-known member
I am getting an early start this year. Trying to strategize how I can Adopt a Family without them knowing. #SecretSanta

Check this out. There's this lady I've gotten to know the past couple months. She works where I shop. Around 30 years old. A single mom to a 4 year old son. She came here from the Philippines about 5 years ago. She married an American Filipino guy. Soon after moving here, leaving all of her family behind and most of his, they found out she was pregnant. Two weeks later, this young man was just washing his car and suddenly dropped dead! I think he had an undiagnosed heart problem. This left her here in the U.S, recently a newlywed but now a widow,  and newly pregnant at the same time -- with no family support, few if any friends... she had nobody and nothing. She only had one distant cousin here and her husband's parents who are very old and frail. They live in San Francisco and are bedridden with health issues. They can not offer her any help, of course.

She began making a 3 hour+ commute everyday, working 54+ hours a week, and had to leave her son with random people. She said it would be a new place everyday. She once dropped him off somewhere, sat him on the floor, and he looked up and asked, "Where am I now?" She moved in with a coworker. At one point, she was driving from her room in Alhambra to a friend's house in the inland empire to drop her son off then to O.C. for work. A 3 hour drive back to the I.E. where she would sleep over (not return all the way home), get up, and do it all again the next day. When her son was a baby, she fell asleep driving on the freeway. She would fall asleep holding him in the middle of the night. She has dropped him out of sheer exhaustion. She's just doing it all on her own. I asked if she has considered going back home to the Philippines where she has more support but she says no, it's better for her son here.  :-\ At least now she lives in the same city as the store. That's a small improvement.

Despite this, she is the SWEETEST person. You would never guess she's been through so much and still is currently. I really want to help her. I was thinking of giving her a gift card early in December so she can use it on her son if she wants to. But getting it to her would present a problem. I don't want to give it to her directly. I don't want any credit for it. I also don't want her to feel awkward about accepting it. I thought about anonymously leaving it on her car but I'm afraid it might not make it into the right hands. I thought about giving it to her manager and he could say it's from the company, except I learned the store no longer gives Christmas bonuses to their employees. Not sure how this is going to work.
 
SoCal said:
I am getting an early start this year. Trying to strategize how I can Adopt a Family without them knowing. #SecretSanta

Check this out. There's this lady I've gotten to know the past couple months. She works where I shop. Around 30 years old. A single mom to a 4 year old son. She came here from the Philippines about 5 years ago. She married an American Filipino guy. Soon after moving here, leaving all of her family behind and most of his, they found out she was pregnant. Two weeks later, this young man was just washing his car and suddenly dropped dead! I think he had an undiagnosed heart problem. This left her here in the U.S, recently a newlywed but now a widow,  and newly pregnant at the same time -- with no family support, few if any friends... she had nobody and nothing. She only had one distant cousin here and her husband's parents who are very old and frail. They live in San Francisco and are bedridden with health issues. They can not offer her any help, of course.

She began making a 3 hour+ commute everyday, working 54+ hours a week, and had to leave her son with random people. She said it would be a new place everyday. She once dropped him off somewhere, sat him on the floor, and he looked up and asked, "Where am I now?" She moved in with a coworker. At one point, she was driving from her room in Alhambra to a friend's house in the inland empire to drop her son off then to O.C. for work. A 3 hour drive back to the I.E. where she would sleep over (not return all the way home), get up, and do it all again the next day. When her son was a baby, she fell asleep driving on the freeway. She would fall asleep holding him in the middle of the night. She has dropped him out of sheer exhaustion. She's just doing it all on her own. I asked if she has considered going back home to the Philippines where she has more support but she says no, it's better for her son here.  :-\ At least now she lives in the same city as the store. That's a small improvement.

Despite this, she is the SWEETEST person. You would never guess she's been through so much and still is currently. I really want to help her. I was thinking of giving her a gift card early in December so she can use it on her son if she wants to. But getting it to her would present a problem. I don't want to give it to her directly. I don't want any credit for it. I also don't want her to feel awkward about accepting it. I thought about anonymously leaving it on her car but I'm afraid it might not make it into the right hands. I thought about giving it to her manager and he could say it's from the company, except I learned the store no longer gives Christmas bonuses to their employees. Not sure how this is going to work.

Stories like her makes me feel how fortunate alot of us are. We should always be thankful and pay it forward whenever opportunities present itself.

You are leading a good example.
 
Irvinecommuter said:
May we know the store?  Maybe TI community can add to your generosity?

That's really kind & thoughtful. Thanks for the suggestion, I.C.

Unfortunately, I don't know of a way to manage a collection of donations without giving up my personal information such as my home or business address. Also, since I'm making an anonymous donation, I wouldn't be able to give others the confirmation of her receipt of the gift that they would deserve. I'm not sure it would be fair for me to ask others to send money to a stranger on the internet with the promise that I would give it to "someone, somewhere, at some point", on the honor system, if you know what I mean. Since I'm a regular at her store, I plan to poke around a little, after I give my gift to her manager or however I can get it to her, to see if she mentions it. I'm going to ask vague things like, "So, what's new?" or, "What does your little boy want for Christmas?" I hope she'll bring it up in the course of conversation just so I can make sure she got it. Over the past couple weeks, I've thought about setting up a Go Fund Me page for her. However, she would have to know about that especially if I use her name and photos. I prefer to keep my gift to her anonymous. I want to make it non-traceable. I was thinking a Target gift card so she could get necessities like food and clothes but also toys for her son.
 
SoCal said:
Irvinecommuter said:
May we know the store?  Maybe TI community can add to your generosity?

That's really kind & thoughtful. Thanks for the suggestion, I.C.

Unfortunately, I don't know of a way to manage a collection of donations without giving up my personal information such as my home or business address. Also, since I'm making an anonymous donation, I wouldn't be able to give others the confirmation of her receipt of the gift that they would deserve. I'm not sure it would be fair for me to ask others to send money to a stranger on the internet with the promise that I would give it to "someone, somewhere, at some point", on the honor system, if you know what I mean. Since I'm a regular at her store, I plan to poke around a little, after I give my gift to her manager or however I can get it to her, to see if she mentions it. I'm going to ask vague things like, "So, what's new?" or, "What does your little boy want for Christmas?" I hope she'll bring it up in the course of conversation just so I can make sure she got it. Over the past couple weeks, I've thought about setting up a Go Fund Me page for her. However, she would have to know about that especially if I use her name and photos. I prefer to keep my gift to her anonymous. I want to make it non-traceable. I was thinking a Target gift card so she could get necessities like food and clothes but also toys for her son.

You can just give out the person's first name and the store name/location.  People can decide what to do thereafter.
 
Compressed-Village said:
Stories like her makes me feel how fortunate alot of us are. We should always be thankful and pay it forward whenever opportunities present itself.

You are leading a good example.

Thanks. I just pray she uses it wisely. As we know, that is not always the case when a needy person receives cash or funds to play with. I'll never forget a family I knew four years ago. The mother would break down and cry about their situation. She and her husband had trouble providing for their kids. She told me what her plans would be if she ever came into some money... all the best of intentions, of course. One of them was repaying a home daycare worker who used to watch her daughter for free. Then an amazing thing happened that year. An old coworker of hers sent her hundreds of dollars that they took up a collection for, out of the blue. The lady then told me how grateful she was for it ... and that she spent it all on a new gold and diamond wedding band for her husband!! I was flabbergasted!  :o I think that family had a "low financial I.Q.", though. In this new situation, this lady seems like she's more responsible. However, I realize when you give somebody a gift like this, you have to be prepared for absolutely anything. O_O I guess not everybody thinks like we do. *Praying*
 
SoCal said:
Irvinecommuter said:
May we know the store?  Maybe TI community can add to your generosity?

That's really kind & thoughtful. Thanks for the suggestion, I.C.

Unfortunately, I don't know of a way to manage a collection of donations without giving up my personal information such as my home or business address. Also, since I'm making an anonymous donation, I wouldn't be able to give others the confirmation of her receipt of the gift that they would deserve. I'm not sure it would be fair for me to ask others to send money to a stranger on the internet with the promise that I would give it to "someone, somewhere, at some point", on the honor system, if you know what I mean.

I wouldn't trust the internet either, especially given how many fake/multiple accounts there are. 
Couldn't you ask someone who you do trust (family member, close friend, cop, etc) and give it to her directly?
T'is the season of giving!
 
To solve your "How do I get it to her anonymously?" question, just give it to the store manager and tell them it's a thank you note and to make sure she gets it.

Not sure how you got all those details just shopping there, you must shop there all the time. :)
 
irvinehomeowner said:
To solve your "How do I get it to her anonymously?" question, just give it to the store manager and tell them it's a thank you note and to make sure she gets it.

Not sure how you got all those details just shopping there, you must shop there all the time. :)

Shall I let on that it contains valuables so I can ask the manager to please be extra careful with it? Or not disclose so that it's not a target for theft. Kind of torn. I think I'd have to just so the manager knows to keep it anonymous.

I know everybody's name and everyone's life story everywhere I go. From a janitor to a manager and everybody in between. Especially here. I try to care about them. I like to go on a first-name basis and see them as a real person. I'm not one to Waltz in and treat them as some lowly worker I can just snap my fingers at. In return, they are amazing... they roll out the red carpet for me. They often go above & beyond what is expected. We actually laugh about this at home... okay, I laugh and my kids cry because if I say I'm going to bring them shopping with me, they just know that an hour's worth of shopping will take 2.5 since the workers know my face instantly and are socializing with me for the majority of the time that I'm making the rounds.  :)
 
Your first post mentioned a gift card. That's fairly easy to put in a card, label with her name and give to the manager.

I'm not sure what you mean by "valuables". If that's the case, just say you have a package for [Name] and it should get to her.
 
SoCal said:
I know everybody's name and everyone's life story everywhere I go.
I think I sat next to you on a flight back from Paris.  I didn't get a minute of sleep on the 12 hour flight.
 
So, yesterday I delivered the gift. It was absolutely awesome!!! I wish I could do it every day!

I went in and gave the gift to a worker because no manager was available. The kid said they're not allowed to accept tips so he would wait until he was off that night to give it to her. That was definitely not okay with me. He could have walked off with it. I grabbed it back. I waited until a manager was on duty. I gave it to her and said to please give it to the lady in this certain department but promise to keep my identity a secret. She said okay. I walked across the store and had a perfect view of her receiving it, peeking around the corner. The lady took it and went into the back. She didn't come out. They were calling her name over the intercom because there was a call for her but no response! Finally, she came out. I tried to leave enough time before I started shopping so that I'm not associated with it. She saw me and said, "I'm SO HAPPY today!" I asked her why (playing dumb). She said a customer gave her a gift card. She said she when she opened it, she was in total disbelief and was in the back of the store crying, thinking, "Did this really happen to me?!" (That is why she didn't come out when she was called.) I asked her if she had any idea who it could have been. She said not really except the manger told her it was a female customer. (Ugh. Gee, thanks.) Then she gave me a hug. She said she was going to give all the ladies hugs "just in case" it was them who gave it to her. But then she dropped some hints that she thinks it was me. I tried to divert & deflect.

Her son just turned 5. He is into something called Sky*land*er S*uperchar*ge...? (Edited so it's not Googleable.) I have no idea what that is. She said it's a game or something for adults? She said the thing she wanted to get him is $89.99. She's thinking of using the gift card on that and spend a less on herself. I told her that's a lot and she should take care of herself, too. But she said -- get this -- he has NEVER HAD TOYS FOR CHRISTMAS.  :'( Only once a year - on his birthday - can she afford to get him a real gift. But she is thinking maybe get him a cheaper set, one for $50, and spend the rest on something for both of them. Anyway, she is so excited that she got this and early enough to give her little boy a Christmas! Oh my gosh, she was dancing! She was sooo happy! She started crying because she was so happy! She took out a picture of him to show me. He is so cute! I wish I could see his face when he gets his gifts.

It was THE BEST. It is so much more fun to surprise people than it is to get something for yourself. It's amazing how much of a difference something that seems kind of insignificant to us makes such a huge difference in someone else's life! Totally recommended! This is one of my favorite Christmases ever.  :)

 
SoCal...that story is awesome. I had no idea what that object you were talking about was, but I actually was looking for some duplo's for my daughter on amazon and saw that amazon has a special sale on what I think you are talking about.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YI79BGA/ref=gbps_tit_s-3_4322_8661ddc7?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2318544322&pf_rd_s=slot-3&pf_rd_t=701&pf_rd_i=gb_main&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0AH61S7KA5HW13DH2XD7

$34 bucks instead of $75. 
 
I know what SoCal is talking about, it's not for adults it's for kids.

It's collectible/video game (along the lines of Disney Infinity, Nintendo Amiibo and Lego Dimensions) and the newest set introduces vehicles.
 
Give me another 4 or so years and I'm sure I'll be more aware, haha. Right now my kids (2.4 and .5 yrs) still largely play with similar stuff as I played with ~30 years ago when i was their age.  Basic blocks, books, color rings, objects, puzzles...with an upgrade for some Lego Duplo's in my daughters future this holiday season. 
 
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