roundcorners

Do you guys ever just stare at the Google search bar for so long that you lose track of time?  You want to type some magic keywords, but you don't even know where to begin; and when you pause and evaluate the predicament, you don't even know what you're really looking for.  All you know is that something precious is missing, something so deep within your soul is aching; and it desperately needs to be found.  But, where do you begin?  All I knew was that the questions I was asking at the top of the thread couldn't be found on a website somewhere, well at least not at this stage and I needed to do what I usually do when I'm feeling so lost at sea.  I broke routine, virtually unplug from everything and everyone non-vital; I needed to connect and plug into relationships so I turn to close friends, mentors, prayer and tuned into which frequency God might be speaking.

What unfolded in the following weeks of lent was an extraordinary continual dialog that expanded several people, situations, places, things and even my cat!  It wasn't all easy, the family spent most of March fighting one sickness after another; I had allergies so bad this year that my eyes were swollen shut for a couple of days; which then developed into a persistent        cough that lasted for more than four weeks.  I even spent three nights in a row sleeping in the car because I cough uncontrollably in my sleep that I kept waking the wife and kid.  Then the kid got sick from me and regressed to only being able to stop crying and sleep while being sooth in the car; so there we were a couple of nights from 10 at night to 3 in the morning, driving the Irvine loop (5n, 55s, 405s, 133n); we must have made at least ten laps that one night.  The wife caught some other bug and the cycle started pretty much all over again.

Some friends from church chose to fast for Easter.  They didn?t eat and drank nothing but juice for 40 days.  Let?s just say mine was an involuntary juice fast.  When you?re in a mad dash to Ralph?s for Children?s Motrin because you son has a 104 temperature, you?re not necessarily thinking of what?s for dinner.  You might pick up a couple of bottles of Naked Juice or Ensure, because you know that that is the only meal you will have for the day; a quick drink is all you have time for; between trying to revive whatever work is out there, driving while make calls and having enough energy to focus.  Eating another piece of toast with peanut butter when you come home you think, will probably quiet the hunger pains enough to get through the night with the crying baby.

Something interesting happens to you when you?ve subsisted on peanut butter and four hours of sleep for weeks on end.  First and foremost, the Irvine comfort and convenience goes right out the window.  That sense of entitlement of getting what you want, when you want it goes next.  Happy church people call it God?s refining fire through challenging trials; I call it pure hell.  However I must admit it, the process does something to you; it changes something fundamental inside, you?re not quite the same person.

Being in survival mode for so long, the expectations you have of life in general becomes sort of simple.  A good day is a day where I can make it to work and put in a few productive hours and get home in one piece.  An excellent day is a day when I can work a little and eat two sit down meals.  And an awesome day is when I can get at least 6 hours of sleep, work and eat.  Anything beyond that is pure bonus.  Not to be pessimistic or take on a negative view of life; but when you expect to get right back up again in an hour after putting down your sick child for the fourth time in the middle of the night; having to get up again doesn?t phase you at all.  By expecting the worst of whatever comes along and taking it to prayer; I started to notice that a lot of things that used to bend me out of shape simply don?t anymore.  Oh well, so when the computers hard drive crash the other day; or, we just had to pay the pediatrician $2,500 we owe in back medical bills; or, when I get into a dispute with a client regarding their past due account; or, when the wife?s car won?t start.  Conversely an immense joy of thankfulness arise when things do happen to work; my Volvo is fast approaching 250,000 miles, I expect the engine to explode at any moment; I shout for joy every time I get in it and it gets me to where I need to go.

The next critical thing that happens is that you naturally turn to those around you for help.  God must know what it will take to break us; because having a strong-will; active child like ours certainly did the job.  My wife and I both have advance degrees, we know stress and late nights; we have adequate savings; and we are both survivors, we know how to live on our own from our early adulthood.  But never have our lives feel more unmanageable than with the kid.  That pride of asking for help disappears; and we find ourselves on the phone calling and texting for help constantly.  Whether for prayer, food, supplies or even medicine; we simply had to reach out.  Our immediate neighbors stepped in.  Friends from church and our small groups took turns bringing meals and baby sitting; the guys were a huge sounding board for emotional support; the girls in my wife?s life literally held her sanity together.  Never have we been so grateful for friends and community.  Never have I looked into a friend?s eyes and say; we desperately need you, with tears of gratefulness.  Never have we experience such generosity, comfort and support from those around us.  Never have we been so utterly dependent on the people around us to get through each moment; and never have the people around us also convey their need for help, community and the desire to live in close proximity.

Chances are in the immediate future:  I am not going to get a 100% raise; we are not going to own a house large enough for live-in help; we probably will no be able to afford a nanny; we?ll be lucky if we can save money; and chances are the situations at work and home will continue to be difficult.  But chances are also that our community is permanently changed where we all share a deep desire, a like-mindedness to interdependent on each other.

I?m so excited to share what came next; for what I?ve shared so far is just the foundation.  For when the pride departed God spoke two very important things to me.  First, he said very distinctly; in true community is where you will find life, not just life, but life abundantly.  And secondly, in true community is where you will find your next assignment.

Wow, what a long post, I?ll end the post here for now; I can?t wait to share more about how God unpacked the two bullet points and where that lead!  I hope you enjoyed the journey with me so far, just hang tight there is more to come? as always I appreciate feedback and discussion?
 
Thanks for sharing and I definitely look forward to your future posts.  I can't say I know exactly what you have been through.  Having a little one at home, going back to school and work, went through a few sickness with the wife, kid, pretty much everyone on the household, I can see how difficult it would be.  Asking for help is not something I do well, but I have been really fortunate to have help around us.  Trust the people around you (I need to do the same).  As long as you reach out, even if it's on this forum, I am willing to bet there will be many people here who are more than happy to help.  Again I look forward to your post.
 
fe9000 said:
Thanks for sharing and I definitely look forward to your future posts.  I can't say I know exactly what you have been through.  Having a little one at home, going back to school and work, went through a few sickness with the wife, kid, pretty much everyone on the household, I can see how difficult it would be.  Asking for help is not something I do well, but I have been really fortunate to have help around us.  Trust the people around you (I need to do the same).  As long as you reach out, even if it's on this forum, I am willing to bet there will be many people here who are more than happy to help.  Again I look forward to your post.
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Thanks for letting me share brother... I hope you don't experience what we been through, the kid gets plenty of hand washing & sanitizing now.  I don't know any other kid that goes to the park at least twice a day, he also pretty much goes to Traders & Ralph's everyday & either Chick-fil-A or McDonalds at least once a week.  Plenty of places to pick up Hand-Foot-Mouth.  We sure got an active one; he now loves to push his own little cart around at traders & as I am typing now, down at our biz center, he is on my lap watching his favorite baby einstein video on a split screen... I know within a few minutes now, he'll be bored, start fussing and we'll need to go for his walk... bla.. such is parenthood...!  Dude, we gotta hook-up when you guys move in..!
 
Sounds as though you have had a hard time lately. All these difficulties you have had must be testing your faith. Have you tried a different God? Wonder if praying to the Norse Gods or the Roman Gods might be better?
 
Stuff It said:
Sounds as though you have had a hard time lately. All these difficulties you have had must be testing your faith. Have you tried a different God? Wonder if praying to the Norse Gods or the Roman Gods might be better?
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Stuff, thanks for the response; if you actually are sincere in your inquiry, I?ll try to give you a sincere answer.  You actually have a very valid question; and I?ll try to not go into a million theological directions.  But please, feel free to ask a follow-up question if you think my answer is not satisfactory.

I guess it all boils down to who created who; I was created for God?s good purpose and pleasure, and not the other way around.  I did not come up with this idea of God to serve as my cosmic genie.  God doesn?t need anything whatsoever from me; but he gives us the ?pleasure? to take a little part in his grand design and plan.  It?s also a battle of wills; do I have faith that God knows best and that he has my best interest in mind or do I have to tell God what my will is and make my requests known.  From my very limited finite perspective, I choose to surrender my free will and try to constantly align my will with His.

I have to remember, it?s not about me, period!  This life I have is not about my pleasure, my happiness, my things; it?s about serving/loving God and others.  And just so you know I?m still human, it is very difficult; everyday as a servant to die to myself and serve.  And yes there are periods where it doesn?t make any sense, and all the crap seems so random, pointless and tragic; and I don?t know all the answers, and I will probably won?t have all the reasons why God allow certain things to happen, but I can still trust that His will for my life however challenging or difficult is the best life possible.
 
RC - thanks for the great post!  I was really inspired by your challenge since as a fellow 2nd Generation Taiwanese American I get what you mean about the warmth (both in temperature and friendliness) from the community in Southern Taiwan!

I have to admit living in Irvine is comfortable and we live in the Irvine bubble not knowing much about the real life beyond its boundaries but I think there are still many wonderful hardworking people with good essential core values here.  It's easy to categorize Irvine as sterile, pretentious and solitary but that can be said about OC as a whole (after all, we did have several reality shows flaunting riches start up in OC).  The community I live in - University Town Center - is comprised of a good mix of college students, small families who rent or own and there are no flashy cars in my community. We love living here with a diverse group of population, we have the college students to keep us feeling young and the small families to keep us grounded.  Every time we have the desire to want more, we take a look at our neighbors who are raising children in a 2br condo with carports and they're perfectly content. Our community pools and parks are constantly being used and that's where the social interaction takes place in our community. 

A pastor once told me that Irvine is full of beautiful homes with empty living rooms that aren't being used for fellowship and that's the danger of surburbia.  We used to attend NS as well and we enjoyed the messages but didn't like the pressure of having to "keep up with the Lees" with all the affluence and ambiguity of the church goers there.  Material possession is definitely hard to let go but my husband and I have decided to commit ourselves to paying down all our debts, including the mortgage for our 2 br condo here at UTC by the end of this year and we have been questioned by our friends about our reasoning behind our debt free plan and lifestyle sacrifice.  We want to be debt free so we can give more.  The mortgage we would've paid to the bank could go to church or other charity foundations.  We are excited about the financial freedom we will have once we are debt free.

At the challenge of the pastor who spoke to us about empty living rooms, we started a couples small group that meets in our small living room weekly.  Although our place is cozy and most people have to end up sitting on the floor b/c of lack of space, we are so excited to see that we can fill a room full of love instead of material goods.  We have plenty of friends who have big homes but are house poor where both parents need to work to provide for the big house/big lifestyle and put the kids in daycare.  Their living rooms are never full since they are too busy working and there is constant stress about money.

We prefer to live a modest conservative lifestyle without all the luxuries of life but we have the ability to give our time and money to charities we believe in.  We see people who share our beliefs in our community - the family with kids next door may not live in a big expansive mansion but we see how involved the parents are in their kids' lives and that flexibility they have by choosing a simple lifestyle is worth more than any luxury car or mansion.

Looking forward to reading more about your family's life stories!
 
Piggy,, wow, thank you for sharing; yes Pastor Dave just gave his arguements this past Sunday that the most dangerous places in America are it's suburbs.  I know how you feel in a "mega" church like NS, since there are a lot of people, mostly strangers, there tend to be a lot of comparing.  I was joking with Panda, since there is a large Korean congreation; I describe OC/LA Koreans as the Italians of the Asians... Sorry if that offended anybody...  The K-moms all got their LV bags, and designer cloths; the some dads look like they just came from South Coast Plaza, sports car and sun-glasses in hand, they can make carrying a diaper bag look fashionable.

The one thing thing that kept us as NS instead of a smaller church, is that we look past all of that, and got to really know people there.  When you look underneath we all admit that we are all pretty jacked-up, all of us have issues, we all struggle to some degree with something and of course that we need Christ and each other...

UTC sounds like a nice place to live... Most older neighborhoods in Irvine and else where do... it's kind of similar to needing to drive the latest 2010 car versus settling for a 3,4,5+ old one.  I'm not going to go into a huge debat on the mentalities of people who want the new house smell, but, you are right you sure pay a premium for it.

I have a lot more to share, and hopefully it would edify and encourage your lifestyle.  There are some real radical, practical ways to build community, live simply and be part of a greater cause...
 
For the majority of my life I had some form of multi-family, multi-residential, multi-person, multi-generational living arrangement.  Growing up there were always people outside the immediate nuclear family living with us; whether it were aunts, uncles or grandparents or even cousins and friends.  Living here in the states, we had combinations of four-plexes, duplexes and I even remember three or four other immigrant families all living under one roof just after we arrive here.  There were always some forms of roommates, girlfriend, landlady or family combinations that I rented/share rooms from.  There was always someone close by to talk to, watch a TV show with or grab a bite to eat.  There might have only been a few months or so in my 34 year existence, where I was completely on my own.  I mean, I had my own apartment with no one else living with me or sharing my space.  And even now, you can say, I share the 1-bedroom with the wife, kid and cat.

I can?t think of anything more miserable than to live by yourself.  I know some of these people; and some are even friends, there is always this underlining unexplainable characteristic about them.  They are just odd to me, something is kind of strange with their personalities, and I just can quite put a finger on it.  I just don?t know of a good reason why someone would choose to live by themselves for months, years and even decades.  Sure, there are times where I seek silence and solitude, but I always had someone to go back to.  I know some of these people?s stories and to be quite honest, they have some of the most emotionally stunted personalities of anyone I know.  I can draw a direct correlation in the times of my life where I was self-isolating and the times I got into some serious hurts, bad habits and hang-ups.  To put it mildly, I got into some stupid addictions, when I am left to myself.

When God said that I will find the abundant life in community; I knew exactly what He meant.  The abundant life for me is not material possessions, a fat bank account or even the ability, the freedom and means to choose the experiences I want, although all of those things are important; great wealth always meant an abundance of relationships.  I guess I?m an average investor; I?m horrible at timing the market and have lost my fair share recently shorting oil.  But, I have never regretted investing in people.  I have yet to calculate the average ROI, the monetary amount I have invested in others through out the years, but I can almost guess that it has been paid back ten times the amount.  At various seminars they always ask you this trick question: What is your biggest asset?  You almost always hear these answers: your health, you, earning ability, your house, ability to borrow, time, bank account?  For me, my biggest assets from my clients, friends, family, wife and kid to God are relationship.  The kinds of relationships where you not looking out for yourself, but each other.  The kinds of relationships where you know someone so thoroughly that we can instantly tell if something is wrong just by looking at them.
 
roundcorners said:
I was born in a small rural town of Le-Kang/Ping Dong located in the southern part of Taiwan.  Back then, everyone inter-depended on each other; there were no such thing as living on an island, even though Taiwan is an island.  You were never alone; you can say someone was constantly next to you.  Our town comprised of buildings where you had your retail establishment on the ground floor and your living quarters above.  The original live-work!  So when you get your hair cut, your traditional Chinese medicine, or rice porridge you are actually entering someone's home.  I remember the entire town operated on virtually a cash less basis; everyone almost just barters and kept a running tabs, and helped each other out when some were short.  Everyone was introduced as an aunties and uncles; most of us didn't have much but everyone trusted, helped and gave to one another.
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Random thoughts

I was born in a rural area of Changhua.  People around Taiwan know us by our...  Changhua meatballs, and a big Buddha statue.  Other than that, pregnant women from Taichung comes to Changhua Christian Hospital to give birth (the hospital has an excellent maternity ward).

Rural towns have its benefits and down-sides.  Other than fishing there wasn't much else to do.  The local stores had a coffee can for payment and change.  When you want to buy something, you deposit the money in the coffee can and dig for exact change, then take the merchandise and go.  The shop keepr is often MIA somewhere, and his inventory of expired snacks and candies weren't that appitizing anyway, not to mention the beatlenut stains on the floor.  When the first supermarket opened, we thought civilization had finally arrived.

When the local factory closed and my father lost his job, we had to move to Taipei to find work.  Moving to the big city was exciting for the first week, then the pollution sets in and I was sick all the time.  After a few years my family had enough and we moved to Anaheim, California to stay with my uncle's family.  The air quality here was much better and my health recovered quickly.  But life here was tough for my parents, they're blue collar workers and never went to college.  The only jobs they could get was working in supermarkets and restaurants.  After I went to college, they bailed for Taiwan and I became a parachute adult.

The first thing that I learned about living by yourself is that money suddenly mattered a lot more, because now you have to buy everything -- toilet paper, tooth paste, food, etc.  Because mommy isn't there buying groceries for you, and food doesn't magically appear on the dinning table.  You either earn money and budget your expenses, or starve.  My parents were too busy working long hours in restaurants to give me a financial education.  I struggled for some years  before a friend gave me a copy of "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" about 10 years ago.  It was the one book that finally got through to me on what an asset vs. liability was.

I think through those years, I shifted toward a mid point between hedonism and epicureanism.  There's still that inner Pagan desire to raise my cup to Bacchus for tomorrow may never come, but I don't over-indulge in pleasure or work.  I spent over 12 years working for one company, giving them the best years of my youth and putting in countless overtime.  In the end, I found myself in the expense side of the column and chopped along with my entire department.  It was another lesson learned.

Last year, I went traveling across Taiwan with a backpack, from Taipei to Kaohsiung.  In my travels, I meet an obaasan selling steamed meat buns.  Being an arrogant foodie I asked to buy one to taste, because I wasn't sure if it was good or not.  She eyed me up and down, and packed 3 buns into a bag for me and said "now many young men in high tech industry are laid off.  If you're short on money, come back later (closer to closing time?) and I'll give you a discount.  These extras are free for you."

Generosity, from an old lady who made a fraction of what I made.  As I walked away, I noticed that she had a metal can for change, and I deposited some extra $$ before leaving.

It's said that the friendliness of "locals" to a "visitor" from another country can often be measured by dividing the PPP per capita.  So if the local made $5000 and the visitor made $50,000, the local would be 10x friendlier to the visitor.  This behavior is often exploited by single men from wealthier countries going to poorer countries looking for girlfriends.  But being friendly is not the same as being a friend or being generous to someone.

I spent years in the anime/manga hobby and made numerous Japanese friends.  The Japanese are probably one of the most polite and lawful people in the world.  But at the same time, you could know a Japanese person for 10 years and never get invited inside their front door.  Of all the Japanese friends I had, I only "gained entry" with 5 or 6.

Taiwanese people are not always polite, and have trouble obeying simple traffic rules.  During flooding the government would deliver bento lunch to those affected by helicopter, and some self-centered a-holes complain that the food is too greasy (I say let them eat cake).  Many are highly suspicious of strangers and have an attitude.  But once you befriend someone in Taiwan, you're invited to dine with their family.  If you need a job, they'll call around and help you find a job.  If you're single, they'll offer to hook you up with so and so's daughter.  If you're hungry, they'll feed you.  If you go out and eat with them, they'll fight to pay the bill for you.

There are many kinds of people in the world.  But I've only encountered the old lady who gave me free meat buns in Taiwan, and no where else.
 
Thank you so much momo,, for years, I've been trying to get you to tell us more about yourself... YES I finally succeeded!  What a touching story, I am a little homesick, for a place that I've only spent the first 4.5 years of my life... I hope I'm not posting too slow for you guys, I'm really being intentional about what I reflect on,, but there WILL be a great pay-off...  Let's just say I hope to bring a little of Taiwan here for everyone to experience
 
Great Stuff Momopi!!!  That's a great story.  Man, you and RC's post are really making me miss TW as well.  I spent the 1st half of my time there but only able to visit TW again until a couple of years ago. 
 
Another thing.. Momo's story totally reminded me of the "Taiwanese Network" I just thought of it this morning; it's what my wife call it...

The Taiwanese Network is the Taiwanese version of CraigsList... it has always existed as the verbal communication of needs among Taiwanese people across the globe.

Examples include... all it took for a medical student in Taiwan to find a room to rent in Torrance within walking distance to Harbor UCLA in Carson for his residency was just two phone calls.. one to his aunt who knew my mom...

I have sold cars, rented rooms, found lost friends, hear rumors about marriages, who is now living in which part of the globe, and conveyed messages back & forth through the Taiwanese Network...
 
Threads like this are probably what makes TI and the old IHB special where you get to know a bit more behind the screen names. As I posted in another thread, it enhances a community more when you know that you are dealing with real people and not just characters.
 
roundcorners said:
Another thing.. Momo's story totally reminded me of the "Taiwanese Network" I just thought of it this morning; it's what my wife call it...

The Taiwanese Network is the Taiwanese version of CraigsList... it has always existed as the verbal communication of needs among Taiwanese people across the globe.

Examples include... all it took for a medical student in Taiwan to find a room to rent in Torrance within walking distance to Harbor UCLA in Carson for his residency was just two phone calls.. one to his aunt who knew my mom...

I have sold cars, rented rooms, found lost friends, hear rumors about marriages, who is now living in which part of the globe, and conveyed messages back & forth through the Taiwanese Network...
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Haha, this is cool.  But it could get annoying if the Network starts gossiping, if you know what I mean.
 
irvinehomeowner said:
Threads like this are probably what makes TI and the old IHB special where you get to know a bit more behind the screen names. As I posted in another thread, it enhances a community more when you know that you are dealing with real people and not just characters.
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Agree about TI!!  As a new comer on TI, a thread like this just makes it much more personal.  I can see the tight group on the other site where it's really hard to break in unless you share similar view point.  Which I also felt the same way with IHB where the opinion were really strong and different voice gets killed.  As a new homeowner back in 05, I was active in the beginning even before IHB had a forum but shy away later (shame to say).  Mad props to IrvineRealtor for sticking with it.
 
The next piece of revelation wasn?t quiet as intuitive.  I was quite confused and I didn?t see the connection.  What does being in community have anything to do with work and earning an income?  For quite some time now, I have been restless with where my career is going.  I can see an eventual limit in income and with a growing child; I know expenses in the near future will definitely increase.  I am stuck in a self imposed, self-employed limbo.  I left corporate because I knew my earning potential; but now peers back in corporate are and will surpass in expertise, earnings and experience.  The longer I stay unemployed and more obsolete I become.  Conversely, on the other hand, I have not the courage to make the full blown leap into business ownership.

Strangely enough God has been particularly silent when it comes to my career.  It?s one area that I constantly take partnerships, business ideas and opportunities to and I almost always get the silence treatment.  I would muster every ounce of energy and passion, but without the sustaining power of His presence, it would almost always die out immediately.  So however confused I was, I was ecstatic to get even a glimpse of revelation.

There was also something strange about the word ?assignment?.  It was the first word that matched the description of what bubbled up from the depths of my heart.  Why assignment?  It sounds too much like homework; you don?t get paid for doing homework.  Even the word mission would have sounded better; or why not opportunity, business plan or better yet, venture (like venture capital).  Sure I was glad of the revelation but the word really bothered me for a few days.

Piggy hit this point right on the head; when asked by a friend, why the word assignment bothers me.  I realize that I still struggle deeply, subconsciously if not directly of comparing our situation with everyone else?s around us.  It?s one thing that my wife has to constantly remind me; ?stop comparing?!  Measuring up, keeping up with the Lee?s and Chen?s, that nagging stress of unproductively when I know I should be out working instead of home with the family.  The nagging stress of being so busy that I neglect the family all play into this.  It all alludes to finding my identity, self-worth, significance and purpose in my career, bank account and pay check; instead of God.  What friends are reminding me is that yes money, career and being productive will always be important; they can all be good desires along with a balance life; but I can?t make those my ultimate and daily goal.  My goal is just to simply flow with God; then the word assignment comes into to view as a process which I will be molded and taught.  A process, or divinely appointed task which I can serve and bring value to enrich others.
 
qwerty said:
Have you ever thought of becoming a man of the church?
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qwerty... thanks for reading and the good question, I can take your question a few directions... no, I have never consider working full time for the church directly; if anything I would prefer to volunteer like I do now.  Although we haven't been able to do much since the kid..  But ideally, if money wasn't an issue I would love to work for the church, and I shouldn't wait until we are financially independent to serve more than a few hours a week or month...

I can also answer your question another way, and Piggy alluded to this... what is our church?  NS is certainly the place where we go for corporate worship, but our church is our community.  The place is so large that I sit next to a stranger every Sunday; my church are the people there that know me, my family and our lives...  We give and serve our community just as much as we give in offerings to NS...

Lastly, I find it funny how some people decide to quit their "secular" jobs and go into "full time ministry"...  Like their secular jobs aren't holy or have a lesser purpose than serving the church.  In God's eyes, work has intrinsic value; work itself is good.  You can be staring at an excel spreadsheet all day and that is praising God; even if you don't interact with a single soul.  My workplace is my ministry, our community (online) is our ministry, and we plan to make the place I live a ministry also!
 
I took these two pieces and ran it by anyone I could think of; anyone who had a few minutes or had time for coffee; not much luck there.  The wife also didn?t have a clue but was never the less receptive to what was revealed.  Just about then I was home one afternoon and the cat did something odd; something he hadn?t done since we lived in Long Beach a few years ago.  He used to intently get up on his hind legs, wag his tail vigorously like a dog and stare attentively at the squirrels in the yard and trees.  He hasn?t done that since because there are no squirrels in Irvine.  At that exact moment, the memories came flooding back; I remember our building, seeing the neighbors come in and out, the beach and culture.  As I was reminisced the cool ocean breeze that would blow through the window, it suddenly hit me; I turned to the cat and said; I think God wants us to buy a four-plex in Long Beach!

Moving back to Belmont Shores was always an option.  I wrote a lot about that here on the forums.  A large SFR in BS is out of the question; but I was looking and hoping that a small, old SFR on a large lot would pop up.  The one thing that I never thought about was buying a multi-family building.  After more than 15 years of being the renter, I?m really thinking of being the owner.  Now, before I start having visions of playing my very own Mr. Furley or the Ropers in hopes of recreating the antics of the Three?s Company; I know the realities of apartment living.  Well at least I hope I know.

I know it is a lot of work; I just can?t expect to sit back and collect rent checks.  Yes, I will expect routine maintenance, middle of the night calls and leaky roofs.  I can still see and smell my paint speckled t-shirt growing up; because all of my weekends were spent painting the apartment; cleaning up whoever just moved out, scrubbing the mold off the walls, steaming the carpets, setting the roach traps, and fumigating the bedrooms.  I have helped to tar the roof, dig trenches, re-pipe the sprinkler system, arch weld a fence and pave driveways.  I have to get a heck lot more handy than I am now, let?s just say, the wife and I won?t be strolling the isles of Home Depot as if on a date like we did before.  I will expect to miss work, miss dinner time with the family, weekends and miss the money coming out of my own pocket.  We will have to continue to share walls and endure smaller living quarters; and we will continue to delay gratification.

In knowing the work and risks; there are certainly rewards.  On paper it makes perfect sense to buy an owner occupied unit; financing, the down payment, taxes, write-offs and below rental parity versus trying to carry a house on our own.  I am reminded of how many people including my mentor have built their wealth on four-plexes and residential rental income; being diligent to build experience and a portfolio of acquiring a property every five, ten years.  Besides the financial aspects; as the landlord I would have the authority to set the culture of the building.  Hopefully create an environment of communal conversations and activities.  I hope to find other like minded families and individuals who are looking for more than a place to live, but a place to connect.  We would be living in a neighborhood we love with great schools, good friends and family nearby.  It is not Irvine, and we would dearly miss friends, activities, the comforts and connivances here but that just ?forces? us to be more intentional about finding and initiating community especially now that we have a family.

Could this be what I?m looking for?  Could this be the abundant life, living in community with my neighbors and tenants; the community where I can supplement my income and further my ?career??
 
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