The award for Best Emotional Appeal goes to...

socal78

socal78

Well-known member
Woodcrest Dr. in Yorba Linda!

"'Mom, can we go and play in the backyard?' asked the kids. 'Absolutely! Just don't eat any lizards, throw rocks at the squirrels, or get lost out there, ' replied their mom as she smiled and winked. The kids ran off to play for hours in the backyard. They played hide-and-seek, explored, learned, and used their imaginations. When they returned, the little girl asked, 'Mom, when are we going to get a horse? The neighbors have a beautiful horse and we have horse stables. ' The loving mother replied, 'Soon dear. Very soon. ' Imagine, owning a home that you and your children will remember for the rest of their lives. This home provides that for you and your family. Don't miss this opportunity to own a home in a wonderful Yorba Linda neighborhood...."

Is this an MLS write-up or a children's book?
 
Got to admit it's a bit of an unusual hook. At least it's not "Lite-Bright, Turnkey With Peek-A-Boo Views, Stunning, With Great Curb Appeal. Show And Sell It Today!"

Need to have a contest to finish this Dick and Jane tale.

"Mommy... do we still have a Dad" asked the youngest child. "Yes dear, but he's got to work all day to make the monthly house nut, and pay for your pony riding lessons".  etc.

Something like that.

My .02c

Soylent Green Is People.
 
IndieDev said:
Give that Realtor an award.
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What is funny is that the rules of the MLS will likely get the description banned. The PC police will likely drop down from their black helicopters and demand that any reference to "family" or to "children" be removed.  :-(
 
I've seen some pretty creative descriptions fly in the MLS. I'd be surprised if this heartfelt, emotional appeal, was pulled.
 
IndieDev said:
I've seen some pretty creative descriptions fly in the MLS. I'd be surprised if this heartfelt, emotional appeal, was pulled.
Click to expand...

Creative license is one thing (a la Mike "this home is better than the Taj Mahal" Dunn) but a certain few phrases are strictly verboten.  In the old IHB days one of the posters shared his story of harrassment that, in part, shaped what's allowable.  Link here:http://www.onecitizenspeaking.com/2008/04/fair-housing-gr.html

My guess is that it is pulled within a week.
 
You're right. Real estate professionals are known for their honor and adherence to the rules of professional conduct. This should be taken down quickly.
 
IndieDev said:
You're right. Real estate professionals are known for their honor and adherence to the rules of professional conduct. This should be taken down quickly.
Click to expand...
They sure are, especially this one agent in Long Beach that has her listing as "Active" despite the fact that she is in escrow with a buyer.  She must have not seen the "Back-up Offer" status on her MLS. 
 
I wish I could find it either here or at IHB where I think it was posted, but some Agent in San Clemente had a listing discription that read like a "bodice ripper" romance novel. It had phrases like "you get home, lift a few weights in your workout room, then notice how tone you look in the floor to ceiling mirrors. Damm, you're looking fine" or something to that effect.

Made for great sport against the Realtor, but still you've got to tip the hat to them for at least trying to spice up their listing.

My .02c

Soylent Green Is People.
 
IrvineRealtor said:
The PC police will likely drop down from their black helicopters and demand that any reference to "family" or to "children" be removed.  :-(
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Would those be stealth helicopters?

AZDave better be careful.
 
IrvineRealtor said:
IndieDev said:
I've seen some pretty creative descriptions fly in the MLS. I'd be surprised if this heartfelt, emotional appeal, was pulled.
Click to expand...

Creative license is one thing (a la Mike "this home is better than the Taj Mahal" Dunn) but a certain few phrases are strictly verboten.  In the old IHB days one of the posters shared his story of harrassment that, in part, shaped what's allowable.  Link here:http://www.onecitizenspeaking.com/2008/04/fair-housing-gr.html

My guess is that it is pulled within a week.
Click to expand...

Good call, IR. The mom and kids stuff at the beginning of the description is gone now.
 
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