Stupid Realtor listing description of the week goes to....

NEW -> Contingent Buyer Assistance Program
G

garrison_IHB

New member
Mike Dunn, for his listing of 66 Eclipse, Irvine, CA

Sorry Mike, I'm just going to have to 'miss out on life itself' and pass this one up. I mean, what a unique view of the sunset...it's sooo extraordinary, didn't think you could see that in Irvine. I'm just getting all teary-eyed thinking of that limo pulling away...or was it a boat?
 
garrison said:
Mike Dunn, for his listing of 66 Eclipse, Irvine, CA

Sorry Mike, I'm just going to have to 'miss out on life itself' and pass this one up. I mean, what a unique view of the sunset...it's sooo extraordinary, didn't think you could see that in Irvine. I'm just getting all teary-eyed thinking of that limo pulling away...or was it a boat?
Click to expand...
Haha I've run into Mike on a few Northwood Pointe listings and his listings were fine....I'm hoping that his assistance wrote this description.
 
I remember seeing a Mike Dunn listing in which he said something like, this is *the* most desirable property in all of Irvine. I thought it was a little over the top, considering the house backed up to a biggish street like Bryan or Irvine Blvd.
 
I made a pot shot about Mike Dunn a while back, but I was corrected that I should watch his descriptions. Sure enough, a year later, I can't wait for a Mike Dunn listing. He knows he is full of sh*t in almost every listing, good times. I mean come on, this sh*t is hysterical:

To be quite frank, if you pass this up, you will be missing not only the boat, the limo and party, BUT LIFE ITSELF!!! Buy it and let the love begin!

LOL! That is awesome! He makes fun of all the other RealTurds, and yet they don't even know it.
 
garrison said:
Mike Dunn, for his listing of 66 Eclipse, Irvine, CA

Sorry Mike, I'm just going to have to 'miss out on life itself' and pass this one up. I mean, what a unique view of the sunset...it's sooo extraordinary, didn't think you could see that in Irvine. I'm just getting all teary-eyed thinking of that limo pulling away...or was it a boat?
Click to expand...

He must have taken the correspondence class where they teach you how to use the caps lock key, versus just loading a list up with asterisks.

Delroy
 
Mike Dunn strikes again: http://www.redfin.com/CA/Irvine/23-Castillo-92620/home/4786566

Seller has bought another an is more flxible than a Master Yoga Instructor and becoming more motivated than a Mink at a Supermodel convention! Freshly painted, new baseboards. Amazing location on a cul-de-sac street less than 200 yards to pool, tennis and National Blue Ribbon Award Winning Santiago Hills Elementary School. Extra large yard with upgrades galore including travertine floors, custom designer paint, plantation shutters, extra mature landscaping with sprinklers and lighting, 2 car attached garage. Member of Nationally recognized Irvine Unified School system.
Click to expand...

Awesome.
 
opuswon said:
Mike Dunn strikes again: http://www.redfin.com/CA/Irvine/23-Castillo-92620/home/4786566

Seller has bought another an is more flxible than a Master Yoga Instructor and becoming more motivated than a Mink at a Supermodel convention! Freshly painted, new baseboards. Amazing location on a cul-de-sac street less than 200 yards to pool, tennis and National Blue Ribbon Award Winning Santiago Hills Elementary School. Extra large yard with upgrades galore including travertine floors, custom designer paint, plantation shutters, extra mature landscaping with sprinklers and lighting, 2 car attached garage. Member of Nationally recognized Irvine Unified School system.
Click to expand...

Awesome.
Click to expand...

He forgot to mention the fantastic sound of cars peeling out and screeching by as you fall blissfully asleep next to Irvine Blvd behind the most spectacular backyard one has to offer in Irvine.
 
garrison said:
Mike Dunn, for his listing of 66 Eclipse, Irvine, CA

Sorry Mike, I'm just going to have to 'miss out on life itself' and pass this one up. I mean, what a unique view of the sunset...it's sooo extraordinary, didn't think you could see that in Irvine. I'm just getting all teary-eyed thinking of that limo pulling away...or was it a boat?
Click to expand...

>>>Disneyland fireworks and city lights view on SINGLE LOADED street.

The problem with this house is to the west of it is open land. Meaning, they may build houses there so your spectacular view of Disneyland might be gone.

Also, I hate to burst Dunn's bubble, but 1.5 million for Woodbury? I'd rather go to Newport Beach. Plus with the double melaroos you'd be paying over 20k a year in Property Taxes to OC.
 
How about this for a $7.5 million Shady Canyon listing?

Spectacular Shady Canyon

Shady Canyon

Irvine

Listed at $7,500,000

New Listing

7 Bedrooms & 7.7 Baths

Pre-market under construction with one of the best views and privacy in Shady Canyon. 7 bedrooms, all with their own bathrooms, 7.5 bathrooms, subterranean terraced home theatre with full wine cellar and gymnasium, 4 car garage, family room with cenbtral courtyard with 4 french doors and access from every corner of the house, private staircase off master to spa and pool. Over 8,000 square feet priced at $7,500,000.

Seriously, Mike may be a successful, nice guy - but this is a joke. Spelling, grammar, just plain lazy listing descriptions. You'd expect, for the kind of commission this would generate, a dedicated, professionally created and administered website. How does someone let something like this get posted without even a cursory review for spelling? Is it 7.7 bathrooms or 7.5? What does the extra .2 denote? Two sinks?
 
CM_Dude said:
How about this for a $7.5 million Shady Canyon listing?

Spectacular Shady Canyon

Shady Canyon

Irvine

Listed at $7,500,000

New Listing

7 Bedrooms & 7.7 Baths

Pre-market under construction with one of the best views and privacy in Shady Canyon. 7 bedrooms, all with their own bathrooms, 7.5 bathrooms, subterranean terraced home theatre with full wine cellar and gymnasium, 4 car garage, family room with cenbtral courtyard with 4 french doors and access from every corner of the house, private staircase off master to spa and pool. Over 8,000 square feet priced at $7,500,000.

Seriously, Mike may be a successful, nice guy - but this is a joke. Spelling, grammar, just plain lazy listing descriptions. You'd expect, for the kind of commission this would generate, a dedicated, professionally created and administered website. How does someone let something like this get posted without even a cursory review for spelling? Is it 7.7 bathrooms or 7.5? What does the extra .2 denote? Two sinks?
Click to expand...
He knows it won't sell at that price...maybe if it was listed for $3.9m or lower.
 
usctrojanman29 said:
CM_Dude said:
How about this for a $7.5 million Shady Canyon listing?

Spectacular Shady Canyon

Shady Canyon

Irvine

Listed at $7,500,000

New Listing

7 Bedrooms & 7.7 Baths

Pre-market under construction with one of the best views and privacy in Shady Canyon. 7 bedrooms, all with their own bathrooms, 7.5 bathrooms, subterranean terraced home theatre with full wine cellar and gymnasium, 4 car garage, family room with cenbtral courtyard with 4 french doors and access from every corner of the house, private staircase off master to spa and pool. Over 8,000 square feet priced at $7,500,000.

Seriously, Mike may be a successful, nice guy - but this is a joke. Spelling, grammar, just plain lazy listing descriptions. You'd expect, for the kind of commission this would generate, a dedicated, professionally created and administered website. How does someone let something like this get posted without even a cursory review for spelling? Is it 7.7 bathrooms or 7.5? What does the extra .2 denote? Two sinks?
Click to expand...
He knows it won't sell at that price...maybe if it was listed for $3.9m or lower.
Click to expand...

That's over 1 million dollars per bedroom. What a bargain.
 
I'd have to say almost all of Mike Dunn's listing are in the realm of ridiculous. He must feed the sellers an extreme amount of BS to get them to list their houses at those stupid prices. Most of the stuff he has listed in the Northwood area have been on redfin for 100+ days.
 
Thought you guys would get a kid out of these agent-to-agent comments for one of Mike's listings that I'll go see this weekend:

"Call 949-XXX-XXXX with 86,400 seconds notice. Copyright Mike Dunn 949-XXX-XXXX 2009"

Here's a portion of the regular description:

"Seller has bought another an is more flxible than a Master Yoga Instructor and becoming more motivated than a Mink at a Supermodel convention!"

I'll have to ask Mike where he comes up with some of this stuff. I wonder if his sellers read his property description. haha
 
USCTrojanCPA said:
Thought you guys would get a kid out of these agent-to-agent comments for one of Mike's listings that I'll go see this weekend:

"Call 949-XXX-XXXX with 86,400 seconds notice. Copyright Mike Dunn 949-XXX-XXXX 2009"
Click to expand...

What a total nerd, I thought that only math teachers knew by memory that there were 86,400 seconds in a day.
 
USCTrojanCPA said:
Thought you guys would get a kid out of these agent-to-agent comments for one of Mike's listings that I'll go see this weekend:

"Call 949-XXX-XXXX with 86,400 seconds notice. Copyright Mike Dunn 949-XXX-XXXX 2009"
Click to expand...

Every time I see that realtor's name I want to ask, is he related to Phillip?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top