roundcorners
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I was born in a small rural town of Le-Kang/Ping Dong located in the southern part of Taiwan. Back then, everyone inter-depended on each other; there were no such thing as living on an island, even though Taiwan is an island. You were never alone; you can say someone was constantly next to you. Our town comprised of buildings where you had your retail establishment on the ground floor and your living quarters above. The original live-work! So when you get your hair cut, your traditional Chinese medicine, or rice porridge you are actually entering someone's home. I remember the entire town operated on virtually a cash less basis; everyone almost just barters and kept a running tabs, and helped each other out when some were short. Everyone was introduced as an aunties and uncles; most of us didn't have much but everyone trusted, helped and gave to one another.
Our family immigrated to the stated in 1981; it took everything to make the trip. Our family went from what was considered middle-class to being dirt poor. Mom took odd alteration jobs and dad tried to start his business. Flash forward five, ten, fifteen, twenty five plus years of chasing the typical "American Dream" including all the typical dramas, pains and heartbreaks of any particular family and here we are today; deciding on where to raise our son, where to buy a house, where to settle down and trying to live out a greater purpose of my faith.
Our pastor said today that as we get older, especially in our western culture, we tend to get more and more isolated; people start to annoy us more and more until we have shallow relationships where we simply talk about superficial clich?s or at most our opinions. The older we get the less relationships we have until we end up in a convalescent home; where at best a family member might visit you once a week.
I see a disturbing indicator in my life, the older I'm getting the fewer refrigerator friends I have left. Refrigerator friends are people I have an open door policy with, where we can take whatever we see from each other's kitchen without asking. This past year has been extremely rewarding with our son but also increasing lonely as we try to make ends meet and survive day-to-day. I know that this tough stage will probably eventually pass; but how easy is it to become habitually self-focus, self-isolating all in the name of raising our son with endless activities.
I just turned 34 this past 12th, and I've never made much money; my 1099s came in and I made just a little over $60,000 in 09; pretty good for working on average 25 hours a week this past year. I graduated from Biola University in 08 and I still have the same profession today as the day I went into b-school. Sure I can probably afford a Monterey plan 3 with the down I have saved, but that would be stretching it a bit, and the wife would most likely have to work a few hours. That would leave us with even lesser margin to think about the people, people outside Orange County, outside Irvine, outside Woodbury and the cause greater than ourselves.
I do have a general observation about rich people; and there is nothing wrong with being rich, and there are plenty of very spiritual, rich people at our church Newong. But they tend to be more independent; self-reliant and self-sufficient. Maybe that is why God has not blessed me with riches; he knew how miserably alone I'll become if I had my way. That is one thing completely terrifying of Woodbury people; rich or not, renting or owning almost everyone carry around this attitude of American (western) self-independence that I never hear anyone really share their deepest emotional/spiritual desires and needs. That is also one thing that scares me about mikeirvine and the people who buy the 2010 collection; there will be even more neighbors who are self-made, isolated in their private houses with no real deep desire or need to know and depend on their neighbors or build meaningful relationships. I am not saying that mikeirvine and I can't be cordially neighbors; I am also not saying that we can't be friends if we really tried hard at it; but sooner or later, I'm sure we'll run out of things to talk about as I'll probably can't keep up with the expensive hobbies. I can be wrong, but most likely mikeirvine and I won't be refrigerator friends.
Our lead Pastor, Dave Gibbons also announced today that he will be moving to Santa Ana. He called his realtor to start the search; I'm not sure if he'll sell his home in Northwood (Racquet Club) but he can't effectively serve and connect with the poor anymore by living in Irvine; he and his family actually wants to live among them. There are a growing number of Irvine families that are moving to Santa Ana; a growing number of people who are committed to growing closer to God and each other by living and inter-depending on one another.
Those of you, who read my threads, know my heart. I enjoy the many conveniences of Irvine, I desire the comforts, safety and beauty of what the city offers; but somehow it is killing me slowly inside. For what makes my heart come alive is to live in a dynamic place where people interact constantly and share not only clich?s, facts and opinions, but have the life margins to unpack feelings, deep emotional/spiritual needs and core beliefs; and unfortunately the only way that ever happens in this culture is when people spend enormous amounts of time with each other. Why should these relationships usually only exist between spouses, family members and therapists; how much more "wealthy" would you be if the people who live next to you, really knows who you are.
As I raise my son; I am acutely aware of how impressionable the first 3-5 years are. Do we want to raise our son in a sterile, wonderfully controlled environment or experience the beautiful mess that is rich in human expressions and relations? I know that these two aren't necessary mutually exclusive; but the longer I live in Irvine the longer it seems that everyday community is more of an uphill battle than it should be. Why should we settle for a small townhouse when our desires are to constantly invite strangers, host guests and house friends to our home.
There are several actions items that I am going to take from now until our lease runs up in July; for as long as I live here; I'm committed to constantly push my comfort zone and reach out. I'm also going to seek God and actively seek the guidance of friends, peers and mentors for our next plan of action. I've felt a sense of peace this morning; as I slept on what I wrote; it is the complete surrender to flow with God wherever he might be calling us to live next. No, I'm not going to pull a "Jerry McGuire" and move to Africa or something; I do have to consider the wife and the kid's best interests. But it was great to finally hold my desires to live in Irvine with open hands.
There is more to write but I'll end it here for now; as always I will update and chronicle our journey...
Our family immigrated to the stated in 1981; it took everything to make the trip. Our family went from what was considered middle-class to being dirt poor. Mom took odd alteration jobs and dad tried to start his business. Flash forward five, ten, fifteen, twenty five plus years of chasing the typical "American Dream" including all the typical dramas, pains and heartbreaks of any particular family and here we are today; deciding on where to raise our son, where to buy a house, where to settle down and trying to live out a greater purpose of my faith.
Our pastor said today that as we get older, especially in our western culture, we tend to get more and more isolated; people start to annoy us more and more until we have shallow relationships where we simply talk about superficial clich?s or at most our opinions. The older we get the less relationships we have until we end up in a convalescent home; where at best a family member might visit you once a week.
I see a disturbing indicator in my life, the older I'm getting the fewer refrigerator friends I have left. Refrigerator friends are people I have an open door policy with, where we can take whatever we see from each other's kitchen without asking. This past year has been extremely rewarding with our son but also increasing lonely as we try to make ends meet and survive day-to-day. I know that this tough stage will probably eventually pass; but how easy is it to become habitually self-focus, self-isolating all in the name of raising our son with endless activities.
I just turned 34 this past 12th, and I've never made much money; my 1099s came in and I made just a little over $60,000 in 09; pretty good for working on average 25 hours a week this past year. I graduated from Biola University in 08 and I still have the same profession today as the day I went into b-school. Sure I can probably afford a Monterey plan 3 with the down I have saved, but that would be stretching it a bit, and the wife would most likely have to work a few hours. That would leave us with even lesser margin to think about the people, people outside Orange County, outside Irvine, outside Woodbury and the cause greater than ourselves.
I do have a general observation about rich people; and there is nothing wrong with being rich, and there are plenty of very spiritual, rich people at our church Newong. But they tend to be more independent; self-reliant and self-sufficient. Maybe that is why God has not blessed me with riches; he knew how miserably alone I'll become if I had my way. That is one thing completely terrifying of Woodbury people; rich or not, renting or owning almost everyone carry around this attitude of American (western) self-independence that I never hear anyone really share their deepest emotional/spiritual desires and needs. That is also one thing that scares me about mikeirvine and the people who buy the 2010 collection; there will be even more neighbors who are self-made, isolated in their private houses with no real deep desire or need to know and depend on their neighbors or build meaningful relationships. I am not saying that mikeirvine and I can't be cordially neighbors; I am also not saying that we can't be friends if we really tried hard at it; but sooner or later, I'm sure we'll run out of things to talk about as I'll probably can't keep up with the expensive hobbies. I can be wrong, but most likely mikeirvine and I won't be refrigerator friends.
Our lead Pastor, Dave Gibbons also announced today that he will be moving to Santa Ana. He called his realtor to start the search; I'm not sure if he'll sell his home in Northwood (Racquet Club) but he can't effectively serve and connect with the poor anymore by living in Irvine; he and his family actually wants to live among them. There are a growing number of Irvine families that are moving to Santa Ana; a growing number of people who are committed to growing closer to God and each other by living and inter-depending on one another.
Those of you, who read my threads, know my heart. I enjoy the many conveniences of Irvine, I desire the comforts, safety and beauty of what the city offers; but somehow it is killing me slowly inside. For what makes my heart come alive is to live in a dynamic place where people interact constantly and share not only clich?s, facts and opinions, but have the life margins to unpack feelings, deep emotional/spiritual needs and core beliefs; and unfortunately the only way that ever happens in this culture is when people spend enormous amounts of time with each other. Why should these relationships usually only exist between spouses, family members and therapists; how much more "wealthy" would you be if the people who live next to you, really knows who you are.
As I raise my son; I am acutely aware of how impressionable the first 3-5 years are. Do we want to raise our son in a sterile, wonderfully controlled environment or experience the beautiful mess that is rich in human expressions and relations? I know that these two aren't necessary mutually exclusive; but the longer I live in Irvine the longer it seems that everyday community is more of an uphill battle than it should be. Why should we settle for a small townhouse when our desires are to constantly invite strangers, host guests and house friends to our home.
There are several actions items that I am going to take from now until our lease runs up in July; for as long as I live here; I'm committed to constantly push my comfort zone and reach out. I'm also going to seek God and actively seek the guidance of friends, peers and mentors for our next plan of action. I've felt a sense of peace this morning; as I slept on what I wrote; it is the complete surrender to flow with God wherever he might be calling us to live next. No, I'm not going to pull a "Jerry McGuire" and move to Africa or something; I do have to consider the wife and the kid's best interests. But it was great to finally hold my desires to live in Irvine with open hands.
There is more to write but I'll end it here for now; as always I will update and chronicle our journey...