[quote author="tmare" date=1233892682]I have other questions related to raising grateful and unspoiled children. How do we make sure our kids don't grow up with a sense that they are entitled to everything we have without any work? I'm seeing this attitude in the "parental help with the house" thread. I don't want me kids to assume that college is paid for and they won't have to have at least a little skin in the game. No one seems grateful for free things.</blockquote>
Easy. I'll do what my parents did to me. Made me do chores around the house as soon as I was physically able to. I moped the floor, vacumed, washed dishes, laundry, took out trash, raked leaves, mowed the lawn etc. Did I get paid for it? No I didn't. Not a penny. While other kids needed allowance as an incentive to work, I got food. Food and a roof over my head. That doesn't mean that once in a while my parents let me have 5 bucks for some candy. Or bought me a toy etc.
Most kids grow up thinking they dont have to work, its not expected, and if you do...then we say good boy, you get 20 dollars.
If I needed something, I told my parents. They discussed it and made a decisions whether I needed it or not. There was no if or buts. Work around the house was the norm.
Once I hit 14, I was put to work at a real job. A job where I can earn wages. Did I keep my money? Nope. Well thats not true, I was able to keep 20% of my wages when I hit 16, 30% at 17 and 100% at 18 if I chose to leave the house. Otherwise it was 50% at 18 while still living with them. My money went to helping my parents pay bills etc. My parents still gave me food, shelter and clothing. I remember once throwing a fit as to why I couldn't keep the money I made, like my friends. My dad whacked me and said as long as I live under this roof, I need to add value and contribute. He said if I didn't like it I was more than welcome to leave and try on my own. Speaking of getting whacked, it doesn't hurt to spank your kids either. Bible even says not to spare the rod. I never got grounded either, I got a beating when deserved and that was it. (not sure I'll be doing that to my kid since laws here are quite different, but I'm sure I'll pay for it through disobedience).
Hell in my country if I did something bad in school I got beat by my teacher, then I begged my teacher not to tell my parents cause if they did...I would get a second dose. Same thing with neighbors. If neighbors caught me doing something I shouldn't, they would grab me, take me into their home and beat me and once again...I begged them not to tell my parents. Anyway, enough ranting...that is how I grew up. I'm beyond satisfied as to who I am today, so if my past brought me to where I am today...I woudlnt change a single thing.
Too many parents worry about kids not liking them or parents hurting kids feelings. Parents are not there to be your best friend. They are there to guide you and place good values in you. They are there to teach you hard work, discipline and respect.
Oh and I paid for my own college, it's not that my parents didnt' want to, they just couldnt afford it.
