Need your best snapping-out-of-it-in-Irvine advice

4

4walls4me_IHB

New member
4walls4me broke up with her boyfriend. For the best. But kinda sad and weird being alone again.



How, in this little town of Irvine, does one do her best to SNAP OUT OF IT. All you happily married couples are bumming me out :) !!



I'm thinking of skipping my IAC gym and joining a real gym just to get out and put on a little weight (I'm a wee bit scrawny) and maybe volunteer (to put my problemos in perspective).



Anything else work for you guys?
 
Throw a party



Always say Yes to invitations and show up to events



Go buy a cute new outfit or shoes that make you feel good



Invite friends over for baking and then subject coworkers to the results



Like the gym idea. Exercise is FTW and you can eye the personal trainers. :)
 
If you are thin; rock climbing. Not only are thin folks good at rock climbing, but it takes your mind off anything else, (How can you think of anything else when you are terrified?), and there are lots of cute guys.
 
I've never been through a break-up, but I second Cayci on the shoes idea. A new pair of shoes will fix almost anything... and chocolate will do the rest. Funny movies are good too. Sorry about your break-up. Hope you feel better soon.
 
The best advice I can give you is to not try to snap out of it. It will happen on it's own. What you are experiencing is normal for anyone who has suffered an emotional loss. When the time is right, you will come back around.
 
LOL, when my husband moved out I went and bought a whole cabinet for shoes at IKEA and put it where his dresser used to be. It was amazingly satisfying.



However, I second WINEX. You can't rush emotional healing.
 
[quote author="4walls4me" date=1232620147]4walls4me broke up with her boyfriend. For the best. But kinda sad and weird being alone again.



How, in this little town of Irvine, does one do her best to SNAP OUT OF IT. All you happily married couples are bumming me out :) !!



I'm thinking of skipping my IAC gym and joining a real gym just to get out and put on a little weight (I'm a wee bit scrawny) and maybe volunteer (to put my problemos in perspective).



Anything else work for you guys?</blockquote>
Sorry to hear about the break-up, they are never fun. Go out with your friends and have some fun. Don't sit around the house because that will only cause you to think about what happened. Hit up the Improv either at the Spectrum or in Brea. Worse comes to worse, you can always go out with me. ;)
 
[quote author="caycifish" date=1232630781]LOL, when my husband moved out I went and bought a whole cabinet for shoes at IKEA and put it where his dresser used to be. It was amazingly satisfying.



However, I second WINEX. You can't rush emotional healing.</blockquote>


Well, you can try to. But the results usually end up being suboptimal.
 
Darn, we probably should have considered Winex's advice before rushing to the shoe department, Cayci. Ah well. What he says is true. It also does help to simply cry until you have no tears left - get it all out. (The tissue inside the <a href="http://www.ninewest.com/New-Arrivals/1053,default,sc.html">Nine West</a> box can come in handy.)
 
Thank you everyone for responding. I appreciate it very much!!



I know it'll take some time to bounce back (good advise, Winex). I don't quite get why b/c this relationship needed to end.



I guess what I'm really looking for is good ways to occupy my time until I adjust to being single again. Sitting around feeling bad doesn't help anybody. Ben and Jerry are awesome fellows, but I've had enough of 'em and am really to get out of the house....just don't know where to go.



I appreciate the support and advice. Truly. Thank you!
 
[quote author="4walls4me" date=1232620147]4walls4me broke up with her boyfriend. For the best. But kinda sad and weird being alone again.



How, in this little town of Irvine, does one do her best to SNAP OUT OF IT. All you happily married couples are bumming me out :) !!



I'm thinking of skipping my IAC gym and joining a real gym just to get out and put on a little weight (I'm a wee bit scrawny) and maybe volunteer (to put my problemos in perspective).



Anything else work for you guys?</blockquote>


I have found that you will best help yourself by helping someone else. Do something constructive in their life and you will give yourself the time you need.

"Putting things in perspective" is a good way of stating it.

If you (or anyone else) is interested in tutoring some of the low-income children in the area, PM me. The program is called "Stepping Up" coincidentally.



It <strong>will </strong>change your life.



<strong><a href="http://www.occhc.org">www.occhc.org</a></strong>



<em>OCCHC's mission is to transition extremely low income families towards greater self sufficiency by assisting them with housing and education. Its founding in 1977 was based on the principle that our low-wage families deserve safe housing and safe neighborhoods so that their children would have the same education benefits as those from more affluent neighborhoods.

</em>
 
[quote author="Shooby" date=1232632973]I'm surprised tenmagnet hasn't posted in here yet.</blockquote>


trojanman beat him to it.
 
[quote author="IrvineRealtor" date=1232632737][quote author="4walls4me" date=1232620147]4walls4me broke up with her boyfriend. For the best. But kinda sad and weird being alone again.



How, in this little town of Irvine, does one do her best to SNAP OUT OF IT. All you happily married couples are bumming me out :) !!



I'm thinking of skipping my IAC gym and joining a real gym just to get out and put on a little weight (I'm a wee bit scrawny) and maybe volunteer (to put my problemos in perspective).



Anything else work for you guys?</blockquote>


I have found that you will best help yourself by helping someone else. Do something constructive in their life and you will give yourself the time you need.

"Putting things in perspective" is a good way of stating it.

If you (or anyone else) is interested in tutoring some of the low-income children in the area, PM me. The program is called "Stepping Up" coincidentally.



It <strong>will </strong>change your life.



<strong><a href="http://www.occhc.org">www.occhc.org</a></strong>



<em>OCCHC's mission is to transition extremely low income families towards greater self sufficiency by assisting them with housing and education. Its founding in 1977 was based on the principle that our low-wage families deserve safe housing and safe neighborhoods so that their children would have the same education benefits as those from more affluent neighborhoods.

</em></blockquote>


Every time I try to teach kids anything, I ended up getting arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
 
Ooooh - sorry, one more thing. Being around animals also brings people happiness. There was an article in the OCR (<a href="http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/life/pets/petvolunteeropportunities/article_1670420.php">click here</a>) that listed a whole bunch of various volunteer opportunities to walk, feed, groom, and play with animals in local shelters and such. There is something called a Theraputic Riding Program at the bottom of the list - you would get to help kids and adults with disabilities to ride horses. It is quite a long list of opportunities so maybe you would find something you like. Well, I hope this helps.
 
On that note, shelters are becoming overpopulated with animals from foreclosures. If you're an animal lover, this is a perfect time to pick up a furry companion. You'll never feel alone again.
 
[quote author="Shooby" date=1232632973]I'm surprised tenmagnet hasn't posted in here yet.</blockquote>


She started the thread after his mom's internet curfew time. Don't worry, I am sure he will find this thread first thing in the AM when he can come out and play on the internet again. I would also bet that he will be a little smoother than Trojanman. Well, at least he will put in some effort to be witty, er at least creative, er something.
 
[quote author="4walls4me" date=1232620147]Anything else work for you guys?</blockquote>


Heh, hanging out on IHB all the time ranting about housing has proven to work wonders for me. Of course, the chat room helped, but no one hangs out in there anymore. I think you find the best place/thing to snap out of it is the least you expect.
 
[quote author="graphrix" date=1232634432][quote author="Shooby" date=1232632973]I'm surprised tenmagnet hasn't posted in here yet.</blockquote>


She started the thread after his mom's internet curfew time. Don't worry, I am sure he will find this thread first thing in the AM when he can come out and play on the internet again. I would also bet that he will be a little smoother than Trojanman. Well, at least he will put in some effort to be witty, er at least creative, er something.</blockquote>
Ouch, LOW BLOW! haha Btw, you coming out to the Panda lunch on Friday? I'll be all dressed up for an interview at 2pm.
 
[quote author="4walls4me" date=1232620147]4walls4me broke up with her boyfriend. For the best. But kinda sad and weird being alone again.



How, in this little town of Irvine, does one do her best to SNAP OUT OF IT. All you happily married couples are bumming me out :) !!



I'm thinking of skipping my IAC gym and joining a real gym just to get out and put on a little weight (I'm a wee bit scrawny) and maybe volunteer (to put my problemos in perspective).



Anything else work for you guys?</blockquote>
Having been on both sides of a break up, the one thing that never failed to get me past the "too much time alone" phase was going for a drive. A pack of smokes, an ATM card, my then-current non-alcoholic beverage of choice, and lots of 50's & 60's music never failed to get me out of that wierd spot. I dont smoke anymore, but given the current economic disasters, I've found myself returning to the open road. It still soothes me when I need a break.



Winex was spot on, but sometimes people fall into the trap of morbid reflection when they give themselves too much time. This leads to all sort of bad possibilities, like rebound relationships, recycling the ex, or the all-time worst... drunk dialing. Far less humiliating to get a fast car and AAA.
 
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