Median Age and the Quality of a Neighborhood - Meaninful Relationshps II

roundcorners said:
B K said:
RC you should move to Floral Park. Residents rarely moved. Many folks lived here all their life. On my street alone I am the newest resident in 15 years. On the average residents lived here for 40 years. Despite of SA crime and bad schools residents here love and are loyal to the neighborhood because of a special kind of RC relationship here. There is an excellent diversity of age range from 1-100 in the neighborhood. It is totally worth it to leave Irvine for this type of life Irvinites could only fantasize and leave your pants behind.

When you live in a place it is about raising a family and create memories. Your home is a place where you can chalk your child's height on the wall and it will still be there when your child comes home with his or her spouse with your grand children. You can throw a Father of the Bride reception in the backyard or park 10 cars on the driveway. You don't need to drape your windows or move every 5 years. No HOA or melloroos forever and save that money for your kids education. You can have a place where your child can slide down the banister or actually set a sleep over tent or a hammock between 2 giant trees in your backyard among the crickets and other critters. Where you currently live the hammock can only go between 2 houses over the zero lot line or between the parkway trees or 30 years from now the trees in the pocket parks. or anchor between a doggie poop bag post and a no parking sign post.

You child can learn to ride a bike on your long driveway. Most importantly the neighbors close to your house will want to hear about your stories and share their with you. There are a dozen of clubs in FP that you can further your interest and ones that will never exist in Irvine like Gardening club or historic home tour.

You can contact the new area secret agent 007wildcard to help you look for a home.

30 years from now you will have the family experience and friendship memories that is priceless while your Irvine TJ mutes will have nothing to remember by except the API score was 910 in the year 2024 and crime rate was .07% in 2021, the HOA made them park their cars in the garage, their kids asking for a handout to buy in a luxury home community in Bowerman Hills.
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I know many of you don't read OCR, but BK's response to me was so good I just want to share it here...  Here is my response:

BK... yes, yes & yes!!! Thank you so much for that post...! It is posts like that, that brings a tear to my eyes. Am I crazy or doesn't EVERYBODY want the vision your wrote?

I was being a little conservative; with wanting to live in our home for the next 20-25 years; if we end up with a multi-family in the Heights with a 10-13 GRM; then yes; but if we are able to buy something in the Park then I can see myself living there forever...

Can anybody in Woodbury who buy the HK Collection say; they'll be there until they grow old and retire? I don't think so... please prove me wrong...

I really don't have to write anymore after BK's post... although I already have some outlines of my next threads that I'm currently researching... some that include:

Asian Helicopter Parents & Their Boundaries-less Children
The True Spiritual Condition of Irvine & Why most people choose Enclaves to hide in
Things are drastically opposite of what they appear to be in Irvine
How the Irvine Facade is a false illusion for true safety, protection and comfort
How the Irvine Facade is a reflection of the true state of your complacent soul

If any of you want me to write these thread please encourage me as these research take a lot of time... shoot a reply...
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This all sounds lovely! Although most of it isn't specific to Santa Ana...you could have this kind of idyllic life anywhere. Although I definitely agree with the saving money on Mello Roos/HOA dues and use it for your kids' education part. You'll need it to pay for private schools, since you won't want to use the public schools in Santa Ana!

One thing I will say about BK...he sure knows how to pull RC's heartstrings! Like a sweet little violin...

And RC...if you can afford Floral Park, more power to you! You know we're talking upwards of a million dollars here, right?

And I am eager to read about how the Irvine Facade is a reflection of the true state of my complacent soul. That's a lot of big words for a simple girl like me.
 
Yes I don?t have any illusions about finding genuine community; it will take enormous amounts of patience, hard work, time and vulnerability it will always be intentional and a struggle wherever we live.  And just like finding the mate to marry and staying married; where it will always take hard work; the difference is; will that marriage be a winning battle or a loosing battle.

The RC family would just like the best chances of continuing the relationships we have and cultivating new ones.  Bk, I do have to respectfully disagree that community is not as hard or rare as most of you think.  It can be possible, it is again a matter of choice; but yes, there are certain neighborhoods like parts of Irvine that really compound the problem.  Eva, yes the 20+ residence of Irvine you know are some of the same people we have been meeting at Walnut Village; but sadly not in Woodbury.

Alright, if I may just share another story here of one of our typical Sunday afternoons yesterday; after Church in the morning, a nap for the kid and lunch we decided to just drop by our friend?s house in Tustin.  Let?s call the couple Tom & Chris.  They are both 60 something and they have been living on Cedar Lane off of Cherrywood and Walnut for more than 25 years.  Cherrywood looks like the typical attach town-home products you see in Woodbridge; the alley/motor-court even reminds me of something out of Montecito or Coronado; but the people living there can?t be any different.

The wife & I meet Tom & Chris about 6 year ago; Tom came to our men?s support group at Church one night because Chris has just discovered various extramarital affairs, pornographic material on his computer, covert financial dealings and years and years of lies built upon lies; they were on the brink of divorce.  The wife and I; along with a larger group of men and women, along with a whole host of inner and outer social support circles have watched Tom & Chris claw their way back from the abyss; build their marriage back brick by brick and now live a inspiring life of truth, health and wellbeing.

We usually try to catch up with them once a quarter; and they are people we can call to come over as we are driving on the 5.  Yes there are times when they are not home and there are times when they are busy; but that is the kind of open door policy that we have.  Our relationship has only gotten richer and deeper with the kid; Tom & Chris, have 13 grandchildren so older couples know how to keep a 20-month old busy in their home.  We had such a blast, we were welcomed with hugs and kisses and a hot pot of coffee; we chatted and lingered casually; the conversation eventually moved to the kitchen and side yard.  I watched as Tom interacted with the kids in the alley.  It?s always so cool to listen to stories of neighbors who have 20+ years of history and roots.  Tom yells over at a group of kids; one in particular asking him how old he is now.  The kid in the alley is now 12; Tom mentions how he remembers watching him and his older brothers run back & forth in the alley; everyone on the street are surrogate parents.  Again, the funny thing was that there were no Asian kids running around in the mix; and all the times I?ve been to the house; I have never seen an Asian family there.

Deep level 6 relationships are not easy; they often require and cost EVERYTHING you have.  I will delve into the subject later on future threads that deal with the culture of shame, saving face, pride and the hidden ills that plague certain cultures.  But if you walk down the path to openness; by choice or not; you have the decision to embrace it or shun it; there you will either find death or life; and not just life but life abundantly.

Again, I?ll unpack all of this later, but instead of filling our schedule with busy activities for the kid; giving him the latest and greatest gadgets and toys; distracting him with endless television, entertainment and shopping; we chose to surround us with people who will give of themselves and who love us deeply.  Education will be important; but the best education we can give to our son to surround him with people of good Godly character and integrity.
 
You know what's weird... while I obsess about the location, floorplan, lotsize and price of our next home... I've never thought about my friendships in that manner.

They just are what they are.

And while I've had my share of personal issues... I don't think I've shared them with anyone since high school/college... since after then I've considered those type of things too private to gush out in conversation to my buddies.

Maybe I'm a loner and I don't know it... that's why I post so much here.
 
roundcorners said:
The wife & I meet Tom & Chris about 6 year ago; Tom came to our men?s support group at Church one night because Chris has just discovered various extramarital affairs, pornographic material on his computer, covert financial dealings and years and years of lies built upon lies; they were on the brink of divorce.  The wife and I; along with a larger group of men and women, along with a whole host of inner and outer social support circles have watched Tom & Chris claw their way back from the abyss; build their marriage back brick by brick and now live a inspiring life of truth, health and wellbeing.

Deep level 6 relationships are not easy; they often require and cost EVERYTHING you have.  I will delve into the subject later on future threads that deal with the culture of shame, saving face, pride and the hidden ills that plague certain cultures.  But if you walk down the path to openness; by choice or not; you have the decision to embrace it or shun it; there you will either find death or life; and not just life but life abundantly.

Again, I?ll unpack all of this later, but instead of filling our schedule with busy activities for the kid; giving him the latest and greatest gadgets and toys; distracting him with endless television, entertainment and shopping; we chose to surround us with people who will give of themselves and who love us deeply.  Education will be important; but the best education we can give to our son to surround him with people of good Godly character and integrity.
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What what? Like Blueberry said, how is this good Godly character and integrity? If this guy was a compulsive liar who was into affairs, porn, and shady financial stuff...do you really think he could fundamentally change just by going to church? I may be a cynic, but my first thought would be that he just learned to hide it better.

I don't know what "level 6 relationships" are, but I don't think I would want one with this Tom guy. I know you have a deep need for connections with people, but I hope you are careful and don't get too involved with anyone who would take advantage of you.

RC, I'm kind of starting to think your quest for a particular neighborhood and desperation for friendship goes beyond what is typical. I hope you're not offended by this, but have you considered talking to a professional about it?



 
roundcorners said:
I really don't have to write anymore after BK's post... although I already have some outlines of my next threads that I'm currently researching... some that include:

Asian Helicopter Parents & Their Boundaries-less Children
The True Spiritual Condition of Irvine & Why most people choose Enclaves to hide in
Things are drastically opposite of what they appear to be in Irvine
How the Irvine Facade is a false illusion for true safety, protection and comfort
How the Irvine Facade is a reflection of the true state of your complacent soul

If any of you want me to write these thread please encourage me as these research take a lot of time... shoot a reply...
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I'd write a post for you but I don't understand most of them - how are things dramatically opposite of what they appear in Irvine?  What do they appear as and what is the opposite of that?  It pretty much looks like it is to me, modern upper-middle class mostly-suburban with big high speed limit roads for all the commuter traffic from the dual income homes and people who prefer the safety of never dealing with neighbors (you might miss out on good people but you also miss out on all the crazy and unpleasant people) and a certain type of strip mall with consistent grocery stores and dining out/shopping experiences.    I mean you may not ever get the best, but you always know that if you encounter something bad you can complain to the corporate office.   

What is "the Irvine Facade"?  I mean I feel like your topics are getting something confused -- Irvine pretty much does offer what it says it offers, sure there may be a lot of undersides that are glossed over or hidden but that veneer is also what people think they want.    Now it may be that people THINK the Irvine lifestyle will make them happy when true happiness comes in the form of a friendly conversation in line at the grocery store, but then you should phrase it as something like "false ideas about happiness" -- but you risk heading down a religious road there.

I could probably talk about heliocopter parents ...but not Asian ones in particular.    I do know a girl who's parents just bought her a new bmw because the mercedes they bought her a couple years ago is out of warranty now and they never keep a car past that.  And she's 25 or 26 or something. And asian.    But I also know a second generation mexican lady who bought her daughter a brand new car to drive the 2 miles back and forth to community college -- and then constantly says she's broke and can't afford various things.    Heliocopter parenting isn't really an asian thing - maybe they started it but everyone does it now.  And everyone always had the URGE to do it, but there used to be older people around that would say "all moms feel this way on their first day of kindergarten, he'll be fine, chill out, you don't need to run his life".    That aspect seems to have gone away since parenting EXPERTS found they could sell a lot more books by telling you that you have been doing it wrong.
 
I'm going to take a shot at this, without doing any "research." Research schmesearch!

*Asian Helicopter Parents & Their Boundaries-less Children*

All Asian parents care about is wealth and status. They don't realize that true happiness comes from harmonious relationships with others. They don't teach their children real values or good moral character. They don't offer real love, just money and selfishness and greed. So they choose to live in the Irvine Facade. They have no boundaries other than the line that separates their tiny property from their neighbors', whose names they do not know.

*The True Spiritual Condition of Irvine & Why most people choose Enclaves to hide in*

The residents of Irvine only care about wealth and status. They don't realize that by living in Irvine, they are hiding from the real world. Only outside of Irvine - where you can have big trees with a hammock and meet wonderful people who care about you - can you free yourself from the Enclaves and stop hiding. Irvine is spiritually empty. You know how it's raining/thundering/lightninging today? It's not even raining outside of Irvine. That should tell you how unspiritual and empty Irvine truly is. Even God is mad at us.

*Things are drastically opposite of what they appear to be in Irvine*

Although the residents of Irvine only care about wealth and status, this is the exact opposite of how things really are. Monetary wealth is the opposite of spiritual wealth. If you live a harmonious life with your neighbors, that is what makes you truly wealthy - not money. So when people drive their BMWs up the driveways of their expensive big houses, they may appear to be wealthy, but it's actually the opposite. Drastically. The houses of Irvine may appear to be pleasant-looking stucco boxes, but really they are miserable prisons for their impoverished occupants, who are selfish and lonely and unhappy...but do not even realize it! It is a very convincing Facade!

*How the Irvine Facade is a false illusion for true safety, protection and comfort*

This one is a bit complicated, so stay with me. People who truly value safety, protection and comfort only care about wealth and status. People who believe in the Irvine facade want to rely on Irvine for their safety, protection and comfort. They don't even want to think about what true safety, protection and comfort really are. It's easier to just live in Irvine, in an Enclave, within the Facade, and just believe that you are experiencing true safety, protection and comfort. For instance, lying on a hammock between two big trees in your pantsless backyard is an example of true safety, protection and comfort, but Irvine residents will never experience this.

*How the Irvine Facade is a reflection of the true state of your complacent soul*
Complacent souls only care about wealth and status. When you free yourself from complacency and start looking beyond the Irvine Facade, you realize what a big world there is out there. When you listen to your heart and soul and start seeking out the REAL things in life, beyond wealth and status, and you teach your children to have a true moral compass, only then will you see that the world has so much more to offer.
 
everyone knows that the  real problem with Irvine is that they don't have a good ADULT store.  And the nightlife kinda sucks, but I think that would be solved by adding a nice big conrev at the Spectrum.    It would have to be a conrev and not another store because conrev is a chain with a corporate headquarters and stuff (maybe).
 
Talyssa said:
everyone knows that the  real problem with Irvine is that they don't have a good ADULT store.  And the nightlife kinda sucks, but I think that would be solved by adding a nice big conrev at the Spectrum.    It would have to be a conrev and not another store because conrev is a chain with a corporate headquarters and stuff (maybe).
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I am so sheltered in Irvine, I actually had to google what was conrev!  :-[
http://www.conrev.com/
 
irvinehomeowner said:
iacrenter said:
I am so sheltered in Irvine, I actually had to google what was conrev!  :-[
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You never drive down the 55/Newport to Newport Beach?
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I need to get out more :)

The only places I stopped along Newport Blvd are The Grant Boys (http://grantboys.com/) and Kean Coffee (http://www.keancoffee.com/). Otherwise I head straight for the Beach.
 
Heh... I don't stop there... but it's very noticeable from Newport Blvd... as is Grant's (every town needs a little bit of country).
 
you've never gone anywhere but Kean down there?  You are missing out, i love that east side costa mesa area - you need to have brunch at Plums.  Hi-Times is down there as well (its like a Bev mo, but its not a bev mo, and they have a serious serious wine cellar, also the floor is overutilized as hell and I am always scared i'm gonna knock something over)

That Conrev used to be small but I guess that business is doing really well becuase they moved into a big spot.  There's also a big used music store there (how many Brick nad mortar music stores are left, HMMM!?)  There's one in huntington beach too.

Adult stores are something my mom always cites as bringing the whole neighborhood down.  Nothing but pedaphiles and rapists you know. 

If you've really NEVER been in one, you can go into just the front area there, its mostly R rated gag gifts and cards and silly stuff like flavored massage oil and dice with naughty words on them.  ITs where you go if you need bridal shower gifts and what not.
 
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