Kids Hobbies and Activities

tmare_IHB

tmare_IHB

New member
I'm wondering how all of you decide which activities, sports or hobbies your children will become involved in. My son is only 5 and he's tried more things than I ever did in my entire childhood. So far it's been weekly swimming lessons since 14 months, 1 1/2 years of skills based (not competitive) soccer, fairy tale acting classes for 6 months, 1 tee ball season, Spanish classes, and he's been taking golf lessons for one month. I figured I'd let him try many things and then take his lead when it comes to narrowing it down. So far, he has enjoyed and been fairly good at everything, so we're having a hard time deciding what to do and what not to do. My son's best friend's older brother is in involved in competitive swimming and really enjoys it. We're trying to decide if we're willing to make a commitment to something like that since it involves practices 3-5 times a week, he's a great swimmer and I believe it encourages discipline and hard work, but is it just too much? How do you guys make these decisions? It may sound like he's always busy but it really isn't that way, he has a lot of down time and a lot of friends. Once Kindergarten starts maybe all of this stuff will be a bit more clear since time will be much more of an issue. I'm sure I sound like a crazy parent but I want to give my kids more opportunities to develop interests and skills than I had growing up.
 
My son is at the same age as yours. He has the following fixed schedule activates: TKD twice a week during weekday after school, Violin twice a week (weekdays, during school hour, and school facilities), swimming class once a week on weekends, coming this fall, he will start again at AYSO for soccer ( was in the fall soccer last year too). We did golf for eight month on Sunday mornings, and only stopped just recently - he is bored of classes that practicing full swing, chipping, and putting; he only wants to go the golf course; I can understand where he is coming from, and I didn't push him. So now, I tried to take him to the range, and some courses so we can just have fun. He loves the golf carts, and hitting balls into the pond ( he is still a kid!). And also, weekend mornings, we bike around for two hours weather permitting.



I have a guiding principal for all his activities: I have to believe in the benefits myself, before I will commit our time. For example, I believe TKD is great in increasing self confidence, and protect himself. So I am willing to do it. He is in the black Belt club, which normally needs to go three times a week. Since my goal is not to get his black belt fast, I don't see why he needs to be there three times a week, so I negotiated for just twice a week. Frankly, we really don't want to commit three times a week.



On violin, it is a great skill to have. But he is not likely going to make a living on this . Unless I have two to three instructors telling me he has the natural talent, I won't want to commit extra effort or financial resources. Since this is through his normal school ( they have outside violin teacher coming to the school for private or group lessons, we have to pay extra), and requires no effort from me or my wife, he can do it for as long as he likes it.



I think team sports is a great way to introduce kids to team work, and character, so we are willing to commit our time. However,again, I don't see him making a living later on in his life on any sports. So we are only going to do one sports at a time. He can pick any team sports he likes.



Golf is a completely difference story. I am hoping this can a life long common interest between me and the kids. We are doing it totally for fun. Nothing else.



He has friends going to Spanish classes. I don't want to make any commitment. He will probably learn it later on in school, I just don't see the reason for me to make extra effort on that. Paying for it will be just a complete waste, in my opinion.



As reward, we do however, let him pick some Friday / Sat /Sunday classes to go to, ie. cooking classes, art classes. but those require no long term commitments from parents.



Just my 2 cents. Everyone is different, not here to debate what is right, what wrong.
 
Thanks for your response. I don't feel so crazy now :lol: . For me, I don't think that any of these activities involve some sort of real hope for making any money doing these things. I really just want to foster natural interest. At this point he is extremely interested in golf. I am hoping that my husband can have a golf partner for life. I guess if there is something that he has a natural talent for, I would hope to encourage it at an early stage. He's going to be in a dual immersion (90/10) Spanish/English immersion school in the fall, so the Spanish classes (I hope) will help him assimilate faster, this is really an academic pursuit that I believe will help him all of his life. I guess I'm struggling with the competitive swimming thing more than anything else. He learned to swim alone before he was two years old and we have always struggled to find an adequate swimming class for him. His current swimming school has placed him in private lessons because they don't have anyone at his level for his age, he really can't swim with older kids because he is not developmentally or physically ready for that. He says he doesn't want to swim competitively because he "will lose". He's extremely competitive and I want him to learn that life isn't all about winning and losing, but right now, he's all about winning. It's really hard to battle a very competitive child, especially since he comes from very competitive parents. We are trying our best to model what it is to be a gracious loser by playing many games at home. I'm anxious to hear how everyone else is dealing with these issues.
 
Here's some fun local stuff for tykes:



<a href="http://events.ocregister.com/santa-ana-ca/venues/show/25907-united-glass-blowing-studio">Glass blowing classes in Santa Ana.</a>



<a href="http://www.orangecountyblacksmithguild.org/classes.htm">Getting started in blacksmithing.</a>



Was this what you were looking for?
 
tmare,



Speaking the the sport part of your question, the way that I see things for my kid (who is about as old as yours), is that I would want a sport that is fun, safe, helps improve physical conditioning, lifelong applicability, and has a true team component as that would help in the workforce later. Most sports do not have all these components unfortunately.



In MY opinion, here are the negatives for the major sport options:



1) baseball--has all components but may be boring for some distract-able kids

2) football, soccer--all components but risk of injury issues that can be life long. We have many friends' kids who have had knee injuries, etc. playing competitive soccer.

3) basketball--all components plus it is one of the few true "pick up games" left for adults. For example you can go play right now at 24-hour Fitness and on "the street" if you drive around fairly randomly to a park, whereas you can't do that with most other sports. But still risk of injury issues that can be life long.

4) swimming, cross-country--can be boring for some kids doing those laps, and also not a true team sport (relays don't count)

5) golf, tennis, badminton--fun but not true team sports (except if you play doubles often in tennis and badminton)



If my kids are drawn to a particular sport, I would certainly encourage them in whatever they want to do--however in the absence of that, I would push them to swim despite the low team component, as they will get injured in life one way or another given they will be active. Whenever athletes are injured, they always seem to be rehabing in the pool if possible. It would be great if going into the pool is a natural activity for them. I would push them into baseball, if they can stand it, as it is a true team sport and has a low injury risk compared to football and soccer. Lastly, I would push them into >>waterpolo<< (http://www.sopacwp.com/SplashBallFlyerBrochureBlack.pdf), as it combines swimming, martial-arts, and is a true team sport. The drawbacks to waterpolo are that it is a fairly unknown sport so most of my kids school friends will likely not be playing it. Also, despite it being ultra-violent at competitive levels, the injury rate is lower than most sports as the choking/punching/kicking is done in water where you don't have as much leverage as on land. It overlaps surprisingly, in many ways with TKD/karate.



There are just too many sport options for kids these days, so why not pick the one(s) that can achieve many goals all at once? Again, these are just my opinions, no disrespect to anyone's sport or hobby.
 
It is interesting that you mention water polo, as that is the one sport my husband really wants my son to play. Thanks for the reference, we have been told that So Cal Aquatics starts water polo at age 7, I'm thinking that we'll hold off on the competitive swimming and give water polo a shot in 2 years. My husband is definitely thinking along the same lines when it comes to swimming and fortunately since we have a pool, swimming is a definite strength for my son.
 
[quote author="tmare" date=1247483781]It is interesting that you mention water polo, as that is the one sport my husband really wants my son to play. Thanks for the reference, we have been told that So Cal Aquatics starts water polo at age 7, I'm thinking that we'll hold off on the competitive swimming and give water polo a shot in 2 years. My husband is definitely thinking along the same lines when it comes to swimming and fortunately since we have a pool, swimming is a definite strength for my son.</blockquote>


It may be an advantage for your son to stay in swimming (as long as he doesn't hate it) as his swimming speed and stamina has a direct effect on how much fun he will have in water polo. All the water polo clubs "suggest" that the player swim on off days and year round during the off-season. I used to play water polo in high school--the guys and girls who continued on the swim team were usually the ones who started in the fall water polo team because they did not lose speed or conditioning during the off season. It was definitely not fun when I first started the season not having swam for a good period of time. The worst injury I have seen on our team the four years I played was a broken thumb from a lucky kick. Other than that, everyone on our team has been punched, kicked, wedgied (sp?), etc. but did not have to see the doctor due to any of those things, nor had any chronic physical injuries resulting from playing (as far as I know).



Also, "real" water polo starts at 7, but 5 yo's play "splash ball" which is a NO-contact kid-friendly version of the game.
 
Do you guys find it very hard on the schedule with all these activities?



When ours was in swimming, we probably missed half of the lessons because we had either a party to go to, some family thing or some other errand. And when it was soccer, the weekday practices and Saturday games just made our kid not as enthusiastic.



My friend has his son in like 5 different things and he's always running around and complains to me about how tired he is and how he doesn't want a 3rd kid... but I can't help but thinking that maybe he shouldn't be trying to have his son in so many things and it won't be so hectic.



This is not to say I'm against activities... I'm just wondering if I'm the only parent who finds it's almost impossible to commit to a set Sat/Sun thing because that's the only time when us fulltime working parents can schedule stuff since the weekdays are shot.
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1247536133]Do you guys find it very hard on the schedule with all these activities?



When ours was in swimming, we probably missed half of the lessons because we had either a party to go to, some family thing or some other errand. And when it was soccer, the weekday practices and Saturday games just made our kid not as enthusiastic.



My friend has his son in like 5 different things and he's always running around and complains to me about how tired he is and how he doesn't want a 3rd kid... but I can't help but thinking that maybe he shouldn't be trying to have his son in so many things and it won't be so hectic.



This is not to say I'm against activities... I'm just wondering if I'm the only parent who finds it's almost impossible to commit to a set Sat/Sun thing because that's the only time when us fulltime working parents can schedule stuff since the weekdays are shot.</blockquote>


So far, scheduling hasn't been too bad. He swims on Sunday mornings which are usually event free. The Tee Ball season games were all at 8:00 am with only one practice during the week, that one will be much tougher if he decides to continue because I know the games are later. It is hard to commit to Saturday afternoons without knowing in advance you'll be missing a few games or a few parties. I will probably feel a lot different about weekday activities soon because his Kindergarten is full day (8-3) and then there will be homework. Up until now he's only gone to a 3 hour a day preschool, so this will be an adjustment for him. I do notice that many parents sign their kids up for stuff and pay big bucks and then don't show up. My son's golf teacher said that most parents only bring their kids to half of the lessons they pay for. It has to be something really major for us to miss a lesson/activity that we paid for, plus I really think it's a bad example to commit to something and then only show up 1/2 of the time. One of my biggest pet peeves is the parents who are consistently late for every activity, bad, bad examples they are. So far, my son hasn't wanted to quit anything so I've been happy when seasons were over or a class ended. I definitely don't want to burn him out and upon the first signs of that, we'll be making some choices.
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1247536133]Do you guys find it very hard on the schedule with all these activities?



When ours was in swimming, we probably missed half of the lessons because we had either a party to go to, some family thing or some other errand. And when it was soccer, the weekday practices and Saturday games just made our kid not as enthusiastic.



My friend has his son in like 5 different things and he's always running around and complains to me about how tired he is and how he doesn't want a 3rd kid... but I can't help but thinking that maybe he shouldn't be trying to have his son in so many things and it won't be so hectic.



This is not to say I'm against activities... I'm just wondering if I'm the only parent who finds it's almost impossible to commit to a set Sat/Sun thing because that's the only time when us fulltime working parents can schedule stuff since the weekdays are shot.</blockquote>


Yes, that is how I feel.



My rule is one activity at a time. For example, right now my oldest has basketball but it's only once a week. Next month is tennis, again, once a week. I am careful not to over-commit our time.



Whatever happened to kids just knocking on a friend's door and asking if they want to play? That doesn't work now because someone is always off to a lesson. If you want to play with another child, you must schedule a "play date" which is basically an appointment.



When I was a kid, we had special activities and classes every now and then (usually only in the summer time) but most of the time we were playing in the sprinklers, eating popsicles on the sidewalk, and kicking a ball around. Not saying anybody here is like this, but these days I do see a lot of parents who over-schedule the child. One thing my son likes to do sometimes is just have a pajama day! I like to let him have that and just be a kid. (Again, not saying anybody here over-does it.)
 
I second IHO sentimen, too.



When my kids were younger we used to do a lot of activities. I even used to drive my son to downtown LA on Saturdays for art lessons. I don't know where I found the energy before but now we are all burnt out and have been activity free for 2 years now.



Their studies do consume a lot of time starting in 4th grade. Plus, they are getting to that age where the I can hear the clock ticking. Meaning I've got 8 short years until my youngest is 18 and 6 years until my oldest is grown. Six years I can't even believe I just wrote that! My time with them is probably shorter than I think as they will not want to have anything to do with me once they hit Jr High. So for now, I like having the weekends free and clear to just hang out or go on a short vacation.
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1247536133]Do you guys find it very hard on the schedule with all these activities?



When ours was in swimming, we probably missed half of the lessons because we had either a party to go to, some family thing or some other errand. And when it was soccer, the weekday practices and Saturday games just made our kid not as enthusiastic.



My friend has his son in like 5 different things and he's always running around and complains to me about how tired he is and how he doesn't want a 3rd kid... but I can't help but thinking that maybe he shouldn't be trying to have his son in so many things and it won't be so hectic.



This is not to say I'm against activities... I'm just wondering if I'm the only parent who finds it's almost impossible to commit to a set Sat/Sun thing because that's the only time when us fulltime working parents can schedule stuff since the weekdays are shot.</blockquote>


Yes! We are the same way - one sport/activity at a time. My daughter plays soccer. She tried softball and girl scouts, but loves soccer. My son who has mild autism and no interest in playing sports other than for fun at recess, is in cub scouts. In fact last year, I became the den leader to keep the den going when the former den leader had to step down. It is a lot of work since I also do several other volunteer things with the cub scout pack we belong to, but it is fun and he has really gotten a lot out of it.
 
I completely understand the time issue, but I am struggling with how to truly develop talents and interests. I guess I really spend too much time thinking about the things I could have done as a child. My mom pretty much let me quit anything I wanted to quit when I stopped showing interest. There are a few things in which I wish she would have been a bit more forceful and decisive because I can see that as a child, I wasn't the best at making those decisions. I wonder where the balance is between letting kids be kids and teaching them that everything in life that they want to be good at takes practice and discipline. I've already seen some of this attitude pay off when my child shows skills in certain areas and his friends struggle, most of his friends parents sign their kids up for sports or activities and then barely show up. I try to emphasize to my son that the reason he is good at these things is because of practice and consistency, not skill, and I really think he's getting the idea. I don't want to be the crazy competitive parent, but I would like my kids to understand what it means to work hard at everything you try to do. I've kind of been waiting for him to say he doesn't like something, so far that hasn't happened so I've been making the decisions what he is continuing to do.
 
I wouldn't worry too much about kids getting injured playing sports. No matter the sport kids will find a way to get injured or injure someone else. We used to throw the lane line extenders at each other before and after water polo practice and those things can do some damage when you actually hit your target. Also, we would drop the goal into the pool and hit someone when they weren't looking. Water polo balls are pretty hard and hitting someone in the face with the ball was always funny too.



If it isn't somewhat dangerous it isn't much fun so kids will find ways to make activities more dangerous/injury prone.
 
[quote author="QH Renter" date=1247716091]I wouldn't worry too much about kids getting injured playing sports. No matter the sport kids will find a way to get injured or injure someone else. We used to throw the lane line extenders at each other before and after water polo practice and those things can do some damage when you actually hit your target. Also, we would drop the goal into the pool and hit someone when they weren't looking. Water polo balls are pretty hard and hitting someone in the face with the ball was always funny too.



If it isn't somewhat dangerous it isn't much fun so kids will find ways to make activities more dangerous/injury prone.</blockquote>


I totally agree regarding finding ways to cause injury and pain--that's what the spirit of waterpolo is about! There really aren't too many other sports out there where you can strike out full force and not get thrown out of the whole game (only hockey comes to mind). But broken bones, cuts, and mild concussions(?) should not bother you for life--but multiple ankle sprains and ACL tears (knees) can be life long sources of chronic pain and disability. It's hard to sprain your ankle in waterpolo, let alone multiple times as with other sports.
 
You guys are worrying me a little. At first I thought I'd keep my boys away from contact sports but anything else would be fine. Now I'm thinking they should only stick to ping pong and checkers. No wait - ping pong is probably too dangerous. ;-)
 
[quote author="SoCal78" date=1247734701]You guys are worrying me a little. At first I thought I'd keep my boys away from contact sports but anything else would be fine. Now I'm thinking they should only stick to ping pong and checkers. No wait - ping pong is probably too dangerous. ;-)</blockquote>


Competitive ping pong players play to win to avoid injury. A loser of a real ping pong match must suffer through getting clobbered with high speed close range hits from the winner.
 
My son started Splashball yesterday, this is truly everything that Water Polo is so far. The name makes it sound fun and easy, fun maybe, easy no. He loved it. If you have a little guy or girl who loves to swim, this is great. They really worked the kids hard yesterday but my son loved it. He' going to the Woolett Aquatics Center by Irvine High, this location is full but there's still space out of Beckman High. This is the first activity that has truly challenged him. It's for 5-9 years old but at Woolett most of the kids seem to be 7-9 years old. If anyone is interested, send me a PM.
 
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