How To Respond In An Uncomfortable Situation

socal78

Well-known member
Men, how would you want someone to respond to your messages if you're making them uncomfortable in a place of business? Please only include kind, helpful replies. Since it involves a place I have to visit frequently, I really need to keep things on good terms.

Yesterday, I had to give my "meat man" my phone number for a very legitimate reason, to pass on to someone else -- a lady he used to work with who I wanted to get in touch with.

Tonight @ 10:29 p.m.: I get a missed phone call from an unrecognized number. No voice mail.

10:32: A text from the same unrecognized number. Message pasted, name redacted. -- "Hey beautiful it's [Todd] from the meat department...just wishing you a merry Christmas
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"

... I was shocked by this. Red heart emoji?? He barely even speaks to me in person. Doesn't make sense. I'm also very skeptical. He's in his 20's(?) - maybe 30 tops. And I'm... ummm... not. He's also a petite 5'4" or so and I'm... uh... not. Funny! First thought was it's a wrong number as evidenced by him not actually addressing me by my name. But I realized that's impossible because I'm not a contact of his. He would have to manually type my number into his phone or Copy & Paste. Can't accidentally mis-dial that. Next thought was he's drunk. 10:30 is kind of late to call someone. It's a Friday night. It is "Christmas Eve-Eve". Totally possible. I even wondered if it's really him or someone just pretending to be him. Maybe he threw my number away and his coworker dug it out of the trash, not wanting to use his own name so pretending to be [Todd]. But there's that missed call. Not afraid to use his real voice? Hmmmm. Still not 100% sure this is legit, though. He is the LAST PERSON ON THE PLANET I would expect to receive a message like this from. I can't stress that enough. It just doesn't add up. But I need to make sure things are not awkward when I have to see him again soon.

Do I:

A) Not respond

B) Say: "[Todd], it's [SoCal]. I think you got the wrong number."

C) Say, "Merry Christmas".

C) "Merry Christmas from my husband and I."

D) "Hope you're okay... sounds like a rough night. Take care."

E) Other

I'm totally open to the possibility this is all one big misunderstanding. I hope it is! I don't want my response to sound like I'm assuming that his message is sincere but at the same time, I don't want to embarrass him if he actually has been drinking.
 
Obviously the meat man wants to give you some sausage.  This is the 2nd time you posted about a guy wanting to give you a meat injection.  You must be hot?  Post a pic of your body....and let us decide...thanks.  No face necessary...just bag it or whatevs.
 
zubs said:
Obviously the meat man wants to give you some sausage.  This is the 2nd time you posted about a guy wanting to give you a meat injection.  You must be hot?  Post a pic of your body....and let us decide...thanks.  No face necessary...just bag it or whatevs.

Well, to be honest, one big reason I'm so skeptical is because at the current time, I could not be more unhappy about the way I look. If I were a guy, I would not "want me". It's hard for me to imagine that any man would. I've even wondered if [Todd] is sending a pity-message. Maybe he's doing his "good / charitable deed for the day."

Yes, ok, just to clarify -- that other guy was NOT CUTE. Also a bit weird. I mean, sure, besides these two guys, my security guard at work also gives me gifts, tells me I'm "bonita", and wants me to run away with him to his motherland of Guatemala. But I don't feel like it's some huge compliment since he's in his 50's, missing teeth, and is by all accounts dealing with paranoia and/or other mental illnesses. They make the meat guy look like he's way out of my league.  :p Another reason to be skeptical of the true meaning behind his message.
 
A)  No response means he obviously needs to try harder.

B)  If you're wrong, it means he obviously needs to try harder.

C)  Very clear, but it exposes your assumption, and in case it's wrong, it won't lead to a positive ending.

D)  If you're wrong, it means he obviously needs to try harder.

E)  Thanks Todd, Merry Christmas!  Just to make sure, you do know I'm married, right?

Softer than (C), and gives an out for either one of you to save face whether you're right or wrong.

Did you not attend that 1 assembly in the 5th grade where they pull all the girls together into the large auditorium and teach this stuff?  :)
 
daedalus said:
E)  Thanks Todd, Merry Christmas!  Just to make sure, you do know I'm married, right?

Question: Do guys NOT notice wedding rings?? Because I do wear one. Mine are sort of hard to miss. I assume that because I always make sure I wear one when I leave the house, that it's a clear signal -- a universal symbol -- so there is no confusion.The only women who wear diamond bridal sets on the ring finger of their left hand are the married ones and sometimes the single ones who want to be left alone.
 
Ok, I waited at least 12 hours before responding. I just texted this back:

"Thanks, Todd. Merry Christmas to you as well. [Christmas tree emoji] - SoCal"

Now that I've analyzed the heck out of this, I hope it sends the right message.
 
SoCal said:
Ok, I waited at least 12 hours before responding. I just texted this back:

"Thanks, Todd. Merry Christmas to you as well. [Christmas tree emoji] - SoCal"

Now that I've analyzed the heck out of this, I hope it sends the right message.

Hmmm not sure that sent the right message.  He called you beautiful and sent you a heart.  Any reply that doesn't clearly imply you're not interested may encourage him to continue his flirting.  Keep us posted on his response :)
 
SoCal said:
I'm totally open to the possibility this is all one big misunderstanding. I hope it is! I don't want my response to sound like I'm assuming that his message is sincere but at the same time, I don't want to embarrass him if he actually has been drinking.

Some thoughts

1. You are overthinking the situation
2. By and large, men are dumb, inept and obvious with women
3. So corollary: dude is hitting on you (see 2)

I would stop talking to him and go vegetarian for a while. Wedding ring doesn't matter. Could just be even more exciting and risqu? to a guy.
 
SoCal made the right response imo. I see guys use this type of language all the time. It's generally harmless flirting with no other intentions. Best to brush it off like nothing happened. If it happens again though, u may need to directly tell him it makes you uncomfortable
 
Don't respond would have been my plan of action. And if it ever happens again, change your meat man. ;)
 
pisa said:
SoCal made the right response imo. I see guys use this type of language all the time.

Yah, "Hey, beautiful" made me choke on my own vomit. So cheesy.

Why did he call me at 10:30 at night? It's not an appropriate time of day. I wonder what he was planning to talk about. It's also weird because we already said all of our "Merry Christmas"es to each other in person a couple days earlier.
 
It's now Dec. 26. No new texts from "Todd".

I try to be really careful with people's feelings around the holidays. Some people can get emotional and feel depressed when they look around and see everyone else except them being all happy. It's a difficult time of year for lots of folks. I would never want to add to someone's stress or be the cause of them doing something drastic. I was nice to this guy who made an inappropriate decision. But I don't think I'm going to be so gentle going forward.

If he EVER texts me ANY pics of his genitals, I've decided I'm going to print out a copy -- tape it to the front of his meat counter, and write: "Free Sausage. Call Todd at XXX-XXXX"
 
P.S. We will probably see each other tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then very soon.

I'm thinking about confronting him head-on.

I realized that this guy is probably closer in age to my son than he is to me! If my kid did something stupid like this, I would want the older lady to set him straight so he doesn't keep doing it. He could probably risk his job if he keeps this up with customers who are not so nice.
 
Now you're just thinking too much and looking for trouble. No need to be the initiator in this case.

The situation could entirely be over for now. Just leave it alone until he decides to stir the pot again.
 
Just got back from the grocery store. I went to Todd's department for help. Oddly, he wasn't there. Hmmm. Hiding, maybe?

Oh, well. Now this means Iho has to unwillingly reclaim his place in my head as my imaginary boyfriend - slash - backup husband. Like it or not. It's my imagination; I decide what goes.
 
SoCal said:
Just got back from the grocery store. I went to Todd's department for help. Oddly, he wasn't there. Hmmm. Hiding, maybe?

Oh, well. Now this means Iho has to unwillingly reclaim his place in my head as my imaginary boyfriend - slash - backup husband. Like it or not. It's my imagination; I decide what goes.
Interesting. TI crush? Have u met in RL before?
 
pisa said:
SoCal said:
Just got back from the grocery store. I went to Todd's department for help. Oddly, he wasn't there. Hmmm. Hiding, maybe?

Oh, well. Now this means Iho has to unwillingly reclaim his place in my head as my imaginary boyfriend - slash - backup husband. Like it or not. It's my imagination; I decide what goes.
Interesting. TI crush? Have u met in RL before?

Of course not.

If SoCal ever saw me in person, that TI crush would disappear faster than a TI member who got their feelings hurt.

:)
 
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