How can one tell if a friend is drinking excessively?

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bkshopr_IHB

bkshopr_IHB

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Many people drink wine for leisure and sometimes it is viewed as healthy and at what point one is considered drinking excessively. What is the gauge when an individual has addiction to alcohol? 5-6 bottles a week? Making a special trip just to buy wine? Drinking from obscured glass with ice to hide the content? Throwing out bottles so family won’t know? However the individual is seldom drunk from the consumption so therefore is there no addiction? Drinking has not interfered with job and social interaction at all with just a few early retirements to bed.
 
bkshopr said:
Many people drink wine for leisure and sometimes it is viewed as healthy and at what point one is considered drinking excessively. What is the gauge when an individual has addiction to alcohol? 5-6 bottles a week? Making a special trip just to buy wine? Drinking from obscured glass with ice to hide the content? Throwing out bottles so family won’t know? However the individual is seldom drunk from the consumption so therefore is there no addiction? Drinking has not interfered with job and social interaction at all with just a few early retirements to bed.
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As far as a "gauge" for addiction, everyone is different. It depends on gender, weight, tolerance, genetics, etc. Everyone is different. Some people can only drink a little, others can drink quite a lot and not seem intoxicated at all.

On the other hand, hiding the alcohol as you described may mean that the person is aware that their drinking is excessive or different, when they compare themselves to others who drink. Most normal drinkers also don't secretly throw out empties and worry that others will find out.

If this person truly has a problem with alcohol addiction, it will eventually interfere with their employment and their social and family interactions, more so than what you've described.

If you're close to this person, perhaps you can figure out a way to let them know you are concerned about their drinking. They may either agree with you and be willing to do something about it or may deny it completely. However, by talking to them you may well have planted a seed in their mind and, when they are ready to acknowledge their addiction, may be willing to seek help.

Good luck.
 
bkshopr said:
Many people drink wine for leisure and sometimes it is viewed as healthy and at what point one is considered drinking excessively. What is the gauge when an individual has addiction to alcohol? 5-6 bottles a week? Making a special trip just to buy wine? Drinking from obscured glass with ice to hide the content? Throwing out bottles so family won’t know? However the individual is seldom drunk from the consumption so therefore is there no addiction? Drinking has not interfered with job and social interaction at all with just a few early retirements to bed.
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Hiding your alcohol consumption is not a good sign.

My feeling is that if they cannot survive without taking a drink, they are addicted. While they might be a functioning alcholic and perfectly "normal", the alcohol is actually modifying their function. Take that away and they will be a completely different person.

I know its difficult to do, but have you sat down and talked with this person?

I'd also ask around and see if there is anybody you know who might also have experience with this.

Good luck, this isn't and easy thing to do.

-bix
 
Anon. is spot on, in real life people with this disease have different thresholds, but in general if somebody can't control how much can he/she drink and can't say "stop, no more" then you have a candidate for this disease.
 
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/alcohol-addiction.htm

Alcohol Addiction - What is alcoholism?

Alcohol addiction is simply defined as a compulsive need for an intoxicating liquid that is obtained from fermented grain or fruit. These liquids include beer, wine, and other hard liquors.

Alcoholism is present when a person craves alcohol and cannot limit or contain his or her drinking. If someone experiences withdrawal symptoms such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, or anxiety when alcohol consumption has ceased, or if there is a need to drink greater amounts of alcohol in order to feel a high, that person is most likely alcoholic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism#Medical_definitions

Medical definitions

The Journal of the American Medical Association defines alcoholism as "a primary, chronic disease characterized by impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking."[2]

The DSM-IV (the standard for diagnosis in psychiatry and psychology) defines alcohol abuse as repeated use despite recurrent adverse consequences.[3] It further defines alcohol dependence as alcohol abuse combined with tolerance, withdrawal, and an uncontrollable drive to drink.[3] (See DSM diagnosis below.)

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, alcoholism is the popular term for alcohol dependence.[3] Note that there is debate whether dependence in this use is physical (characterised by withdrawal), psychological (based on reinforcement), or both.
 
I really think it is a hard question.

Basicaly because you can have all the information, but the hard part is to tell your friend he has a problem.

I think, mostly, persons are logical. When they see something staying in their way to accomplish their goals, they're gonna put it away. So, my recomendation will be to talk to him, not in a bad way... just ask him how he feels about it, if he thinks he has a problem. Never acuse or force him to feel or think anything he does not. Putting yourself in a supporting position will do more benefit than confronting him, basicaly because it isn't late.

Greetings,
 
Hang around on garbage collection mornings. Listen for the recycle truck lift-arm to strain noticeably. Then listen for enough ear-splitting glass clinkage to wake the dead.

(wear earplugs in Westpark on Wed. morning, y'all. Trust me.)
 
I would not think it would be too bad... but then again, I would be lucky to finish 1-2 glasses in a week and only at one sitting.

I'd be worried if it was drinking straight from the bottle also...
 
However the individual is seldom drunk from the consumption so therefore is there no addiction? Drinking has not interfered with job and social interaction at all with just a few early retirements to bed.
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"seldom drunk", "does not interfeer with job and social interaction ". It does not sound like this person has a problem. The only problem I can potential see is money problem. For example, it depends on the wine bottle, some could be in the $1000. If it's $2 chuck, oh well, what's the harm. At least this person will have clean arteries. :-)
 
bkshopr said:
Would 6-8 bottles per week be excessive? Sometimes 2 bottles in one evening?
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BK, that's a lot of alcohol for some people, but perhaps not for others. In the end, it matters more what the effect of all the drinking is on a person's life. If it interferes or affects their life, relationships, job, etc., then it's probably too much. If not, then they might be one of those people who can drink a lot and function o.k.
 
bkshopr said:
Would 6-8 bottles per week be excessive? Sometimes 2 bottles in one evening?
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Moderate drinking is considered to be seven standard drinks a week for women and 14 for men.

A bottle of wine is generally considered to have about five standard glass therein. So, six to eight bottles of wine would be 30 to 40 standard servings in a week or as much as three times the moderate level for men and six times as much for women. Excessive? That's up to you. Immoderate? There's seems to be little question there.

Also, two bottles in one evening far exceeds ANY definition for binge drinking that I've ever seen.

My $.02.

(By the way, what ever happened the cents symbol on computer keyboards. Was there back in the day, but has since vanished. I miss it in times like these.)
 
HB Bear said:
bkshopr said:
Would 6-8 bottles per week be excessive? Sometimes 2 bottles in one evening?
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Moderate drinking is considered to be seven standard drinks a week for women and 14 for men.

A bottle of wine is generally considered to have about five standard glass therein. So, six to eight bottles of wine would be 30 to 40 standard servings in a week or as much as three times the moderate level for men and six times as much for women. Excessive? That's up to you. Immoderate? There's seems to be little question there.

Also, two bottles in one evening far exceeds ANY definition for binge drinking that I've ever seen.

My $.02.

(By the way, what ever happened the cents symbol on computer keyboards. Was there back in the day, but has since vanished. I miss it in times like these.)
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You mean this symbol?

¢

You need to upgrade your keyboard. I have it on mine. :lol:
 
I want the Euro sign....

I'm with HB Bear in thinking 2 bottles for one person, per night.....is too much. Unless he's like, 500 pounds.

One bottle and I'm on my as*.
 
Trooper said:
I want the Euro sign....

I'm with HB Bear in thinking 2 bottles for one person, per night.....is too much. Unless he's like, 500 pounds.

One bottle and I'm on my as*.
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This symbol?

€

It's not on your keyboard?

Do you have the ¢ symbol?
 
If someone is an alcoholic, one is too much and a thousand isn't enough. If the person in question is hiding the amount they drink, they are, on some level, aware that they are drinking too much. As a person with 18 years of sobriety, I will tell you that no alcoholic is going to like a confrontation about their drinking. You run the risk of losing them as a friend by simply mentioning it.

Bk, if you feel the need to reach out to this person, I would suggest the least abrasive approach possible. If they are a co-worker or employee, you might slip a pamphlet into a desk drawer. If they are a friend or relative, you might drop something in their mailbox or wait for the topic to come up naturally. In any case, it is important to understand that alcoholism and drug addiction is not purely a physical problem; the mental obsession is what drives the person to consume the substance that provides whatever relief they get from it. In time, the intoxicated state becomes "normal" and they learn to function while intoxicated and maintain a lifestyle that allows them to continue drinking or using drugs. From your description, this seems to be what your friend is doing. You can get more information about A.A. here. Stopping by the Central Office will put you in contact with people that can advise you on an approach and provide some literature that you can pass on to your friend if you decide to go that way. There are also several hospital and recovery programs that deal with alcoholism and addiction, but I really can't recommend any because I haven't used them.
 
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