roundcorners_IHB
New member
Having people over is a drag! They make a mess; eat your food; take up your time; drink your soda and ruin your schedule. Having people over your house means that you have to stop what you are doing and entertain. You have to give up your ?free time?; your space and share it with someone outside of your family. As if we are not already stretch with work, family and the stresses of the OC lifestyle; the last thing on our minds is to invite people over.
No wonder we don?t know our neighbors; Irvine is filled with isolated -private households where people pretty much keep to themselves. IMO we lost the sense of what a true community is. Under the pristine fa?ade of a master planned design lies the fact that this city is crushingly lonely.
Why do a lot of the homes emphasize being the ?entertainers dream?? In one sense we all idealize the notion of hosting parties; being that house your friends come to; that house where memories are created, a warm and hospitable house where friends and people can take refuge in.
The biggest misconception goes something like this. In order to have people over means that our household has every facet of our lives so perfect that we are able to extend additional resources to outside people! If your house is not immaculate, well stocked with food and drinks; if your kids are not well behaved and husband home then you are simply not ready to host.
Do you know that the warmest homes we know are the ones that are just a beautiful mess? They are the people who know that their lives are chaotic, complicated, and difficult; they know they don?t have it all together and need others in their lives regularly. It is one of those homes where you instantly feel at ease when you walk-in; they don?t hide the fact that things are disorganized and out of place. They don?t conceal the fact that every relationships in the house is not ideal; they are not afraid if you look in their pantry, see the disaster in their kitchen or see them for who they are.
I have a hard time asking for help; after the birth of our son, I thought that I could handle every aspect of our new domestic life. Little did we know how hard parenting was; the mom?s ministry at our church automatically arranges a meal schedule for new parents. I refused the help at first; what do these people think. I can?t provide for my own family!
With the urging of my wife and some friends; we started to receive meals; sometimes we were so tired from the lack of sleep or work to cook. Those home cook meals sure warmed our home and heart. We opened our lives, our home and expose our mess. We made our guest sit on the floor because we didn?t have any adult furniture. The surprising thing was nobody cared! We were somewhat embarrassed of how small and sparse our apartment was compare to the large SFRs that surround us. Little did we know, these same people would trade their large homes in a heart beat for some financial simplicity.
We now feel so much more connected to a larger community and found a larger purpose than before. We were not design to be islands; but communal beings. Since February we had four other families who had new additions, another one should be due any day now! It was our pleasure to give back, swap baby furniture with and shower gifts. Irvine feels so much more homey when you can call a neighbor as you are on you way to drop off some tasty treats. We should not decide to host after we think we have everything in order; it is because we know we don?t have everything in order that we should host.
No wonder we don?t know our neighbors; Irvine is filled with isolated -private households where people pretty much keep to themselves. IMO we lost the sense of what a true community is. Under the pristine fa?ade of a master planned design lies the fact that this city is crushingly lonely.
Why do a lot of the homes emphasize being the ?entertainers dream?? In one sense we all idealize the notion of hosting parties; being that house your friends come to; that house where memories are created, a warm and hospitable house where friends and people can take refuge in.
The biggest misconception goes something like this. In order to have people over means that our household has every facet of our lives so perfect that we are able to extend additional resources to outside people! If your house is not immaculate, well stocked with food and drinks; if your kids are not well behaved and husband home then you are simply not ready to host.
Do you know that the warmest homes we know are the ones that are just a beautiful mess? They are the people who know that their lives are chaotic, complicated, and difficult; they know they don?t have it all together and need others in their lives regularly. It is one of those homes where you instantly feel at ease when you walk-in; they don?t hide the fact that things are disorganized and out of place. They don?t conceal the fact that every relationships in the house is not ideal; they are not afraid if you look in their pantry, see the disaster in their kitchen or see them for who they are.
I have a hard time asking for help; after the birth of our son, I thought that I could handle every aspect of our new domestic life. Little did we know how hard parenting was; the mom?s ministry at our church automatically arranges a meal schedule for new parents. I refused the help at first; what do these people think. I can?t provide for my own family!
With the urging of my wife and some friends; we started to receive meals; sometimes we were so tired from the lack of sleep or work to cook. Those home cook meals sure warmed our home and heart. We opened our lives, our home and expose our mess. We made our guest sit on the floor because we didn?t have any adult furniture. The surprising thing was nobody cared! We were somewhat embarrassed of how small and sparse our apartment was compare to the large SFRs that surround us. Little did we know, these same people would trade their large homes in a heart beat for some financial simplicity.
We now feel so much more connected to a larger community and found a larger purpose than before. We were not design to be islands; but communal beings. Since February we had four other families who had new additions, another one should be due any day now! It was our pleasure to give back, swap baby furniture with and shower gifts. Irvine feels so much more homey when you can call a neighbor as you are on you way to drop off some tasty treats. We should not decide to host after we think we have everything in order; it is because we know we don?t have everything in order that we should host.
