Former Chuck Norris Estate
- Thread starter acpme_IHB
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qwerty_IHB
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- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse.. horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
- Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
-The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse.. horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
- Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
-The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
effenheimer_IHB
New member
Chuck Norris TP.
profette_IHB
New member
OMG! Eff, I just spit out my Pepsi!
profette_IHB
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Trooper_IHB
New member
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
profette_IHB
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profette_IHB
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xsocal land merchant_IHB
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I guess I shouldn't even mention the "Duke" aka John Wayne here. He is without doubt the greatest American hero.
Duck-----Incoming!!!!!
Enjoy
Duck-----Incoming!!!!!
Enjoy
Trooper_IHB
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Major Schadenfreude_IHB
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Why were they fighting in the Roman Colliseum? Was it over that cat?
myfirsthome_IHB
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When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Trooper_IHB
New member
Even though that scares the crap out of me.....good one Nude.