[quote author="awgee" date=1240036732]For a listing agent, one who is a professional marketer and is willing to spend big bucks and time to market my property.
A buying agent is a bit more complicated. If I used a buying agent, which I do not, I would want lots of specific neighborhood info such as:
What is the latest scoop on the local schools?</blockquote>
The schools in Coto are great, but there are still plenty of drugs there.
<blockquote>If we are looking at a particular home, is the next door neighbor a psycho?</blockquote>
You can't move next door to yourself, so it's not a problem.
<blockquote>Or does the neighbor engage in inconsiderate behaviors, ie. leaving a car on the lawn, playing loud music or drums, domestic squabbles?</blockquote>
No_vas and I are not looking to buy in the same neighborhood, so you should be safe.
<blockquote>Was there a catastrophic slope failure on the lot three doors down?</blockquote>
Yes, but there is nothing like some rebar, cement, a couple 2X4's, and some duct tape won't cure. Don't worry about the house that has been torn in half, you aren't looking to buy that one, but the one right next to is just fine. Buy extra duct tape.
<blockquote>Are there some teenage hoodlums living in the neighborhood?</blockquote>
All teenagers are hoodlums, you can't escape it, even in Coto. Best bet is to look into Floral Park. BK beats any hoodlum into submission if they get out of line, hence just the fear of that alone prevents teenagers from becoming hoodlums.
<blockquote>Very importantly, what is the real reason the home I am looking at is for sale? Is the owner experiencing some type of financial distress? Divorce? Business problems? Legal problems? Loss of job?</blockquote>
All of the above.
<blockquote>Does the ocean water come up into the garage during high tide? Yes, this is a real issue with a house I owned.</blockquote>
If this happens in Coto... then we have even more serious problems to worry about.
<blockquote>Is the HOA about to make a special assessment to pay for some high dollar improvement or repair?</blockquote>
Yes, their application for TARP money was denied, even though the homeowners had already approved the 4X4 platinum and diamond encrusted gate emblem.
<blockquote>Is the city about to make a special tax assessment to pay for crumbling canal walls? Yes, another real situation.</blockquote>
No, they should get the TARP application approved, but they most like underestimated the costs and you will pay for it later as well as being a taxpayer for TARP.
<blockquote>Did somebody die in the house? There is a house in escrow right now and the buyer's agent is an infrequent poster on the IHB. A baby accidentally died in the house more than five years ago and it is my understanding that the limits of the disclosure law is five years. Realtors, please correct me if I am wrong on that. Anyways, the buyer's agent, (not Deuce or USCtroj), is not a local agent and my guess is that the agent does not know of the home's history and as such can not inform his/her client. The listing agent is not a local agent either and he/she may not know either. Although it would not effect my decision to buy, I would sure as heck want to know that type of info before I bought the home.</blockquote>
Yes, the real reason the husband is missing is the wife killed him and buried him underneath the coat closet. She got fed up with the credit cards being declined for her LV bags. It has become a serious issue for higher-end neighborhoods in OC.
<blockquote>I would want to know if the home had ever been remodeled or if it ever had any structural problems more than five years ago.</blockquote>
If was done in the last five years, then 9 out of 10 times they will have screwed up or did some sloppy work. Call me, I will help fix their screw ups. It's just part of the privilege of being a homeowner.
<blockquote>Or does the downstairs family room window have a history of being broken by golf balls driven off the 3rd hole tee?</blockquote>
I don't play at Coto, so it shouldn't be a problem. If I do, I will call you when I do and make sure I lay up on the hole your home is near, or the one across the way just to be safe.
<blockquote>Does the neighborhood have a history of fire or flood danger?</blockquote>
Dude... you are out in the middle of nowhere desert kindle capital of OC. Duh... but you are paying for the privacy premium. Flood... see comment above about more serious issues.
<blockquote>Did a celebrity ever live in the house causing gawkers to still come by and ring the bell asking for ole what's her name? This really happens.</blockquote>
Someone already bought Slade's house, and all the other housewives are still sipping the Kool-Aid an think their house is worth more than the current market. Unless another housewife character goes through foreclosure, then the likelihood of you buying one is slim. Plus, Warren G's house just ain't your thang yo.
<blockquote>Is the nice little trail that runs parallel to the back fence actually a coyote and mountain lion trail?</blockquote>
Quit being such a sissy! You are tough guy, you can take a mountain lion. Shesh... so much for your rough edges... grandpa.
<blockquote>Is a neighbor presently under indictment for child molestation? Megan's law only applies to convicted offenders.</blockquote>
Just PM me, I will hook you up with the graph googlfu champion background check skills.
<blockquote>These and others are issues only a honest and local agent who specializes in a particular neighborhood would know. If I were to hire a buyer's agent, I would want an agent who was intimately familiar with the neighborhood I was looking in and was willing and honest enough to share their knowledge.</blockquote>
You ask for a lot, but not unreasonable. I bet Deuce is on the occourts website now checking for court cases on his potential homes. Now go beat up a mountain lion to show us that you really haven't lost your man-card.