How To Respond In An Uncomfortable Situation

I received a couple messages asking me if Todd showed up at church yesterday or responded to my text.

No, he did not do either one.

Not even a text to back-peddle. Not even to apologize. Not even a 'hey thanks' for extending the invitation. I predicted an apology the most.

Yes. I have seen him since the last text.

I was out running errands with my boys. He took one look at us & then ignored me and my kids. No eye contact. He appeared tired & unhappy. A definite change. He wouldn't move out of the way so we could get what we needed. I made my presence known. Still wouldn't move. So, I asked my very tall boy to go reach over Todd & get my stuff for me. Todd wouldn't budge an inch for my son. I was not pleased. If you hate ME, fine. But do not be rude to MY BABY. My boy says I'm too sensitive about that. Ok, maybe he's right. But I'm a mommy. It's my job to be sensitive about that.

At the service counter, Todd wouldn't help me. His coworker had to leave his own task, walk across the store and come ask if I needed help. I prefer that so that's fine. As long as somebody will help me, I don't care who. What happens next time Todd is the only one there? No clue. Maybe I don't get helped. And maybe his boss finds out.

If he's embarrassed, that is totally understandable. Hey, I would be if I was him. If he wants to ignore me, go for it. If he's actually going to be mad at me BECAUSE I'm not a slut, now THAT's a compliment I'll take!  :) But don't treat me kids differently than any other customer. He won't win. I think this is where maturity comes in to play. Adults learn that we pull up ourselves by our bootstraps & handle our business. We put on a happy face, go: "Well, that's life. :) I'll live " and we just plow through it. An older guy would probably do a much better job handling this situation with class.
 
On a slightly different note, as if last week wasn't crazy enough, late last night, my security guard at work (the one from Guatemala who I thought probably liked me since I started there 7 mos. ago) finally laid all his cards on the table. But he did it the right way and asked if I'm married. Good for him for asking that crucial question. What's funny is he's a 55 y.o. guy who just became a grandfather for the first time last month! It feels like this is some sort of practical joke life is playing on me. Going from a 26 y.o. baby to a 55 y.o. grandpa in the same week. I told Mr. SoCal. He wants me to quit. :) Now, I'm just waiting for my 88 y.o. client to ask me out before he draws his last breath.  :)
 
SoCal said:
On a slightly different note, as if last week wasn't crazy enough, late last night, my security guard at work (the one from Guatemala who I thought probably liked me since I started there 7 mos. ago) finally laid all his cards on the table. But he did it the right way and asked if I'm married. Good for him for asking that crucial question. What's funny is he's a 55 y.o. guy who just became a grandfather for the first time last month! It feels like this is some sort of practical joke life is playing on me. Going from a 26 y.o. baby to a 55 y.o. grandpa in the same week. I told Mr. SoCal. He wants me to quit. :) Now, I'm just waiting for my 88 y.o. client to ask me out before he draws his last breath.  :)
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I'm 40...right in the middle of those two. Wanna go out?

....just kidding.  I'm happily married with kids......but I wanted to complete your crazy week.  ;)
 
Woah, interesting thread I just stumbled upon (I go off/on TI in spurts).

I agree that probably not best to have responded to the first text of "Hey beautiful..." Guys who are looking are always trying to test the water, but these days just put little feelers out to where it's not 100% obvious. In his mind, you left the door open with a response especially since it confirmed you saw the beautiful part. Then, he forgot about you till you looked smoking hot then thought hey, seems like she's game, ask for the drink.

And yes, rings don't stop anyone, people step out on wives/husbands all the time. If anything, they may feel more emboldened to start something with someone married figuring it won't always lead to a full on relationship.

Too bad you lost your meat hookup. I think with these types of things there's fine line of joking and getting favors and then going down the path of woah, I'm getting some reciprocal vibes here. I think your nature is pretty friendly, but coming from a single guy's perspective, think about their motives and put yourself in their shoes. I'm sure he's had 1 or 2 moms come in and it worked like a charm :p
 
Re: "Hey, beautiful" - you're right, it's def. not 100% obvious. Some guys literally say that kind of stuff to every woman. It loses its meaning. Unless they say something specific ("Hey, Blue Eyes"), I take everything a guy says as just a standard, cheesy greeting. It's like those women who call every single person "Hun / Honey".

Right now, I'm still getting bad service each time since he got official rejection. He has now shaved his face & his whole head(? In the cold weather? Weird). He still refuses to acknowledge that I exist. Won't sell me what I need at the counter or make sure I'm finding everything ok. (Fyi, ALL the employees at this store are required to ask.) You know what, it does suck. I'm totally fine with not getting the best Ribeyes (lol). But I don't think he should treat me like a "bad guy" or a worthless customer now. He knew this was the risk. As you guys know, I did put a lot of careful thought into this. Guys can be SUPER sensitive to rejection! I know it. That's why I was trying hard to let the guy keep his dignity. I didn't freak out on him or insult him. This is the thanks I get for that?? Not cool. If I treat you with respect, I would like to be treated with respect back. If he was REALLY SMART, he would just pretend like the whole thing doesn't bother him a bit! Even if it tortures him on the inside.
 
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