Yesterday's post about 'lady luck smiling'

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cubiczirconia

cubiczirconia

New member
Yesterday, when I heard that a friend of mine made a fortune on Indian "who wants to be a millionaire", I posted something on TI. It was an immediate reaction- I wrote about how easily she had everything- great career, kids and a rich/handsome husband, and now extra money. But I removed it in five minutes. Reason? As I watched the show, she revealed that her husband died five years ago :-(

They had been married for 5 years. She has two boys. I think younger one was only a few months old when the dad died. First I was very frustrated and depressed that I had lost her contact, and I had to know the new through TV like a stranger. Then, felt bad for my immediate reaction.. I do that often- say too much and regret :-( I called her regularly until 06. During a move that time, I put my phone in trash accidentally. Lost all contacts. Hers was in there too. Then, didn't use my hotmail acct (my first email acct was hotmail) for more than three months, the acct was all cleared with contacts. Never bothered to get in touch afterwards.. two kids, new friends, and lot of other things in my own life kept me busy.

After I got to know the news, it's been a depressing time for me. How does anyone spend the rest of their life alone? She married into a political and influential family, so remarrying is out of question- if not for anything, she has to stay put for the inheritance. She was hardly thirty when he died. It's a long life ahead.. Hardly any power in my hands to change her life, or talk her into changing it.

Just thought I will share. I am talking to our common friends also, and got hold of her contact information, but I will never be able to express my worries to her.. it is supposed to be a noble act to put kids before you when you are a mother :| Five years of married life cannot give you enough pleasure to carry on for the rest of your life.. you don't even know the person well in that time...

CZ



 
irvinehomeowner said:
I find it interesting she can't remarry again. Can she date? Or have a really close male friend?
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That's another thing. If she has no intentions to marry, she can't date or have close male friends. A few of my divorced friends have companions that they haven't/won't marry, but at least there is someone in their life.

If she remarries, she will be cut from the money.. husband's family is very rich.
 
Doesn't count to much in India- esp with inflation..
It can only buy her a two bedroom 1000 SF condo in a nice locality. And compared to what she will inherit if she sticks with the family, it won't be much..
 
What a bitter-sweet story. I am sorry for your friend.

As for the family's money, it sounds kind of complicated. Can't the grandparents still provide for their grandkids despite the mother remarrying? Put them in the will even if they skip the mom. Wouldn't she have enough assets from her husband's passing to get by?

If she can do it - live without that companionship for the rest of her life, then good for her, I guess. Sure, noble for the sake of the kids. Noble to honor her husband in death as in life, too. That was my plan as well. I have told my husband my plan - I am going to do a "Queen Victoria". She dressed in black for 40 years / the remainder of her life after her husband passed away. I wouldn't do it just to "appear" proper... how could you stand to wear anything except black when the light of your life is gone! Your first, last, and only love. Probably the same for that lady. Shockingly, he told me not to - to go ahead and live life. Selfless man! All he asks is that I allow enough time for the body to be cold before I date again.  ::) His family has no fortune so I guess I'll oblige! Just joking.
 
SoCal78 said:
What a bitter-sweet story. I am sorry for your friend.

As for the family's money, it sounds kind of complicated. Can't the grandparents still provide for their grandkids despite the mother remarrying? Put them in the will even if they skip the mom. Wouldn't she have enough assets from her husband's passing to get by?

If she can do it - live without that companionship for the rest of her life, then good for her, I guess. Sure, noble for the sake of the kids. Noble to honor her husband in death as in life, too. That was my plan as well. I have told my husband my plan - I am going to do a "Queen Victoria". She dressed in black for 40 years / the remainder of her life after her husband passed away. I wouldn't do it just to "appear" proper... how could you stand to wear anything except black when the light of your life is gone! Your first, last, and only love. Probably the same for that lady. Shockingly, he told me not to - to go ahead and live life. Selfless man! All he asks is that I allow enough time for the body to be cold before I date again.  ::) His family has no fortune so I guess I'll oblige! Just joking.
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if if you did believe that you would not date again if your husband passed, i doubt you would be able to execute that plan. it appears you are a year younger than i am and that is a very long time to be without a partner.  you would do it for a couple of years perhaps and then move on. too many people would hit on you and a new relationship would just happen.
 
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