Average age for boys to start 1st grade

N

new_to_irvine_IHB

New member
I'm curious about your thoughts and/or experiences with starting kindergarten or first grade earlier or later for boys. I'm noticing that many parents here in Irvien are holding off their kids, especially boys to start kindergarten at 6 years old versus 5. Is there any advantage in doing so?

My son started kindergarten back in Los Angeles when he was still 4 years old. Now, since we moved to Irvine, my son is the youngest kid in his class with some of his classmates being almost 2 years older than him. He is doing fine academically, but has a very hard time adjusting socially. His teacher recommends us to go back to 1st grade so he can be with his age group. I'm a bit shocked by the turn of events. I think if it wasn't such a widespread hodling off of kids to endter school we would not be in such situation.

What are your thoughts?
 
[quote author="new_to_irvine" date=1243049792]I'm curious about your thoughts and/or experiences with starting kindergarten or first grade earlier or later for boys. I'm noticing that many parents here in Irvien are holding off their kids, especially boys to start kindergarten at 6 years old versus 5. Is there any advantage in doing so?

My son started kindergarten back in Los Angeles when he was still 4 years old. Now, since we moved to Irvine, my son is the youngest kid in his class with some of his classmates being almost 2 years older than him. He is doing fine academically, but has a very hard time adjusting socially. His teacher recommends us to go back to 1st grade so he can be with his age group. I'm a bit shocked by the turn of events. I think if it wasn't such a widespread hodling off of kids to endter school we would not be in such situation.

What are your thoughts?</blockquote>




When your son is 14 - he'll probably like being the oldest rather than the youngest amongst his peers and the girls ...
 
This is a very hot topic among parents that is sure to elicit strong responses from both sides. Parents and even elementary teachers will disagree on what the correct approach is. What started out as giving boys an opportunity for an extra year's maturity, evolved into a practice of "redshirting" to give a normally-equipped child competitive strength in the classroom. In the local school districts, the child must be 5 years old by the cut-off date in mid-December of that school year in order to attend Kindergarten. Some parents who have boys with birthdays just prior to that date, will elect to hold out for the next school year. But this crept up to parents of summer-time birthday kids, fall birthdays, and even older. I have encountered a few of these parents myself. One mother asked me why I did not choose to postpone my son in Kindergarten since he has a July birthday! Having a July birthday would still make him five months older than the youngest child in the classroom but to some parents that is "too young". In my opinion, it is most helpful to get the recommendation of your child's preschool teacher. Many preschools will give a Kindergarten readiness evaluation and discuss this with you. I did this and we were given the green light so I had no compelling reason to hold him back a year. In his classroom, the oldest child is 6 yrs & 8 mos old. That is quite a bit older than the youngest who turned 5 in December. This child's mother elected to redshirt her son and has already decided to do so for all of her children despite any indicators of readiness they may show. Some parents will say it's better to pre-empt any problems that may develop down the line by giving the boy a delayed start. That way, if he does not succeed and is held back a year, he will not have to suffer the emotional trauma of his classmates leaving him behind and having to repeat a grade. My comment may sound biased because it is. After listening to all of the debates, talking with teachers, etc... my opinion is that I would send the child on schedule unless there is a compelling reason not to (and there can be compelling reasons not to.) I prefer this over a child not going unless there is some outstanding reason they should go on schedule. I am sure you'll get lots of responses. Good luck with what you decide.
 
Your son must have been born in a 'ber month because as far as I know... there is an age cutoff to get into K. You can only be 4 to enter K if you have a birthday before January of the following year.



Interestingly enough, I hear that it is common practice to hold boys back a year nowadays. Something to do with maturity but it doesn't make sense to me because I would rather not be the a year older than the rest of the kids in my class. I guess it would be cool driving before anyone else but I would think it would be better to be younger or the same age than older.
 
[quote author="SoCal78" date=1243052657]This is a very hot topic among parents that is sure to elicit strong responses from both sides. Parents and even elementary teachers will disagree on what the correct approach is. What started out as giving boys an opportunity for an extra year's maturity, evolved into a practice of "redshirting" to give a normally-equipped child competitive strength in the classroom. In the local school districts, the child must be 5 years old by the cut-off date in mid-December of that school year in order to attend Kindergarten. Some parents who have boys with birthdays just prior to that date, will elect to hold out for the next school year. But this crept up to parents of summer-time birthday kids, fall birthdays, and even older. I have encountered a few of these parents myself. One mother asked me why I did not choose to postpone my son in Kindergarten since he has a July birthday! Having a July birthday would still make him five months older than the youngest child in the classroom but to some parents that is "too young". In my opinion, it is most helpful to get the recommendation of your child's preschool teacher. Many preschools will give a Kindergarten readiness evaluation and discuss this with you. I did this and we were given the green light so I had no compelling reason to hold him back a year. In his classroom, the oldest child is 6 yrs & 8 mos old. That is quite a bit older than the youngest who turned 5 in December. This child's mother elected to redshirt her son and has already decided to do so for all of her children despite any indicators of readiness they may show. Some parents will say it's better to pre-empt any problems that may develop down the line by giving the boy a delayed start. That way, if he does not succeed and is held back a year, he will not have to suffer the emotional trauma of his classmates leaving him behind and having to repeat a grade. My comment may sound biased because it is. After listening to all of the debates, talking with teachers, etc... my opinion is that I would send the child on schedule unless there is a compelling reason not to (and there can be compelling reasons not to.) I prefer this over a child not going unless there is some outstanding reason they should go on schedule. I am sure you'll get lots of responses. Good luck with what you decide.</blockquote>


Thank you for your response!

When we were entering K-class back in Los Angeles we were given "green light" to go a bit early from his teachers so we did. In our old school there was perhaps only 1 boy who was postponed to start school 1 year later. Rest of the kids were on time or even younger than cut off date. That was a case for my son as well - his birthdate is January, right after cut off date. He was doing absolutely fine both socially and academicaly in the old school. Now, since we moved to Irvine (partially because of schools, by the way), his social life went south and he doesn't seem that happy and interested anymore. He is getting in all sorts of troubles during recess. When his teacher learned that he is yonger than his classmates, the blame goes on age. It was such an unexpected turn of events that we now consider putting him back in private school. Any advice?
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1243052978]Your son must have been born in a 'ber month because as far as I know... there is an age cutoff to get into K. You can only be 4 to enter K if you have a birthday before January of the following year.



Interestingly enough, I hear that it is common practice to hold boys back a year nowadays. Something to do with maturity but it doesn't make sense to me because I would rather not be the a year older than the rest of the kids in my class. I guess it would be cool driving before anyone else but I would think it would be better to be younger or the same age than older.</blockquote>


I had a classmate who was 1 year younger than all of us and he was one the least popular boys in the class. I do not know what role his personality played in it vs. his age, but that's what I remember. I guess if standard in Irvine to start school late we would have to obey and adjust to that. I just find it very suprizing and unnecessary.
 
It's quite common around these parts to hold the boys back for physical/athletic reasons. I know a few parents that are having their kindergarten-eligible soon-to-be 5-year olds do K at preschool with the plan to repeat it, at six years old, the following year in IUSD. Two such parents want them to be bigger, stronger, and faster so they are better equipped to compete in team sports.



We recently faced the same decision (my oldest son turns five next month) and elected to start him in K this Fall. Academically and socially he is ready for it, so he's going... It helps that he is big and strong for his age (has always been 90-100th percentile on growth charts) and exhibits peer level or older skill levels in sports. Our youngest, who is small for his age, is a November birthday and won't start K until he is almost six years old.
 
[quote author="new_to_irvine" date=1243054438]

Thank you for your response!

When we were entering K-class back in Los Angeles we were given "green light" to go a bit early from his teachers so we did. In our old school there was perhaps only 1 boy who was postponed to start school 1 year later. Rest of the kids were on time or even younger than cut off date. That was a case for my son as well - his birthdate is January, right after cut off date. He was doing absolutely fine both socially and academicaly in the old school. Now, since we moved to Irvine (partially because of schools, by the way), his social life went south and he doesn't seem that happy and interested anymore. He is getting in all sorts of troubles during recess. When his teacher learned that he is yonger than his classmates, the blame goes on age. It was such an unexpected turn of events that we now consider putting him back in private school. Any advice?</blockquote>


I don't know if the blame can go solely on age. For example, my son's growth is off the charts (his height as at the 100th percentile for kids his age) and he looks much older, so in a case like that because of a boy's physical development I don't think they would be singled out. Now if you're talking two year's difference in age then you might notice some difference or especially if your child is smaller to begin with. I am really sorry to read that he is no longer happy and engaged at school. As a mom, that is sad to know. You've got to wonder what will happen as parents in Irvine and other competitive places keep upping the ante. How competitive is it to postpone your child if everyone else does too. I would consider an early start just as much of an advantage if not more. The child who enters school on schedule, will graduate sooner and begin his/her professional life sooner as well. I will always remember my old school friend who graduated highschool at 16. She already had college credits under her belt from AP courses so she was able to enter UCLA as a 17 year old sophomore and I believe she was 20 at graduation. Now she's already been in her field longer than her peers and earns more. I guess you just have to see if there is anything that could be done to improve the social interaction if he were to move on to the next grade or else weigh the pros and cons. For what it's worth, I have a strong feeling that with the way the economy is and how events have unfolded... I feel not as many families will be able to afford a delayed school start and keeping their child in preschool an extra year at a cost to parents and / or because the household will have a demanding need for the at-home parent to return to work or take advantage of the free childcare at public school to cut down on expenses. I think we may see a return to normalcy but that is just my 2 cents. Have you had any luck fostering friendships with his school mates such as inviting them on a playdate or over for a year-end party, etc? Maybe he could join a sports league to boost his confidence. Just brainstorming here.
 
[quote author="new_to_irvine" date=1243054706][quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1243052978]Your son must have been born in a 'ber month because as far as I know... there is an age cutoff to get into K. You can only be 4 to enter K if you have a birthday before January of the following year.



Interestingly enough, I hear that it is common practice to hold boys back a year nowadays. Something to do with maturity but it doesn't make sense to me because I would rather not be the a year older than the rest of the kids in my class. I guess it would be cool driving before anyone else but I would think it would be better to be younger or the same age than older.</blockquote>


I had a classmate who was 1 year younger than all of us and he was one the least popular boys in the class. I do not know what role his personality played in it vs. his age, but that's what I remember. I guess if standard in Irvine to start school late we would have to obey and adjust to that. I just find it very suprizing and unnecessary.</blockquote>
Yeah... like IPO and others are saying... it's really strange how it's a boy-only maturity/physicality thing. Since it is a common practice there must be something to it... I find it weird that it's such a big issue at that age... is there really that huge a difference between a 4/5/6 year old? (<-- I'm sure I'll get comments on that!)



I can understand being the smallest in the class would be difficult but if you're the same size... does it matter than much that you're younger? I guess my thing is when you get to high school... I wouldn't mind being the youngest graduating senior because that means I'm just as accomplished as my peers who are older than me.



Also, in some private schools like Montessori, they mix the 1/2/3 graders together so you're going to get that "age discrimination" regardless.
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1243055662]

Yeah... like IPO and others are saying... it's really strange how it's a boy-only maturity/physicality thing. Since it is a common practice there must be something to it... I find it weird that it's such a big issue at that age... is there really that huge a difference between a 4/5/6 year old? (<-- I'm sure I'll get comments on that!)

.</blockquote>


I would say it's more their maturity (attention span, behaving appropriately in a classroom setting, staying on target) than physical maturity that is the main factor for delaying, particularly with boys as they tend to be a step behind girls at this age. The term "redshirting" has been used figuratively when referring to academic competition. Never did I think parents like the ones Ipop knows are LITERALLY red shirting their 5-year old kids for sports reasons. Unbelievable.
 
[quote author="SoCal78" date=1243055598]I would consider an early start just as much of an advantage if not more. The child who enters school on schedule, will graduate sooner and begin his/her professional life sooner as well. I will always remember my old school friend who graduated highschool at 16. She already had college credits under her belt from AP courses so she was able to enter UCLA as a 17 year old sophomore and I believe she was 20 at graduation. Now she's already been in her field longer than her peers and earns more.</blockquote>
Yep... that's where I'm coming from. I went to a private middle school and I was doing work 3 to 4 grades ahead but they wouldn't let me skip a single grade due to policy. I always felt that it made me lazy because school didn't present a challenge and so instead of starting a career earlier when my drive to succeed was high... I just settled into a normal timeline and ho-hummed my way through college.



I really think it's a personal preference and if the OP's son will benefit from maybe staying back on year... I don't think she should feel bad... at least she knows it's not uncommon or that he will be held back 3 or 4 years like graph (I kid... I kid!).
 
[quote author="SoCal78" date=1243055598]

I don't know if the blame can go solely on age. For example, my son's growth is off the charts (his height as at the 100th percentile for kids his age) and he looks much older, so in a case like that because of a boy's physical development I don't think they would be singled out. Now if you're talking two year's difference in age then you might notice some difference or especially if your child is smaller to begin with. I am really sorry to read that he is no longer happy and engaged at school. As a mom, that is sad to know. You've got to wonder what will happen as parents in Irvine and other competitive places keep upping the ante. How competitive is it to postpone your child if everyone else does too. I would consider an early start just as much of an advantage if not more. The child who enters school on schedule, will graduate sooner and begin his/her professional life sooner as well. I will always remember my old school friend who graduated highschool at 16. She already had college credits under her belt from AP courses so she was able to enter UCLA as a 17 year old sophomore and I believe she was 20 at graduation. Now she's already been in her field longer than her peers and earns more. I guess you just have to see if there is anything that could be done to improve the social interaction if he were to move on to the next grade or else weigh the pros and cons. For what it's worth, I have a strong feeling that with the way the economy is and how events have unfolded... I feel not as many families will be able to afford a delayed school start and keeping their child in preschool an extra year at a cost to parents and / or because the household will have a demanding need for the at-home parent to return to work or take advantage of the free childcare at public school to cut down on expenses. I think we may see a return to normalcy but that is just my 2 cents. Have you had any luck fostering friendships with his school mates such as inviting them on a playdate or over for a year-end party, etc? Maybe he could join a sports league to boost his confidence. Just brainstorming here.</blockquote>
I thought of hosting playdates, but did not do it at the beginning when that would have been especially helpful. I learned my lesson. We are not coming back to that school for next year for other reasons, not associated with my son not fitting in. I hope that in his new school there will be no such issues and I will be more proactive to help him to fit in. I find it very refreshing to hear that people do not hold off their kids from school on the regular basis.
 
[quote author="SoCal78" date=1243056039][quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1243055662]

Yeah... like IPO and others are saying... it's really strange how it's a boy-only maturity/physicality thing. Since it is a common practice there must be something to it... I find it weird that it's such a big issue at that age... is there really that huge a difference between a 4/5/6 year old? (<-- I'm sure I'll get comments on that!)

.</blockquote>


I would say it's more their maturity (attention span, behaving appropriately in a classroom setting, staying on target) than physical maturity that is the main factor for delaying, particularly with boys as they tend to be a step behind girls at this age. The term "redshirting" has been used figuratively when referring to academic competition. Never did I think parents like the ones Ipop knows are LITERALLY red shirting their 5-year old kids for sports reasons. Unbelievable.</blockquote>


One friend of mine coaches little league, and says that this "redshirting" is very popular/common, but almost exclusively with the white parents who want their kids to get athletic scholarships, both for private high school and university. told me about some of the 4th graders who were shaving. Of course, he also thinks that these parents are giving their boys steroids.



I guess it is the white way to make their kids 'competitive' in Irvine.
 
[quote author="new_to_irvine" date=1243049792]I'm curious about your thoughts and/or experiences with starting kindergarten or first grade earlier or later for boys. I'm noticing that many parents here in Irvien are holding off their kids, especially boys to start kindergarten at 6 years old versus 5. Is there any advantage in doing so?</blockquote>


There may be disadvantages:



"Delaying children's entry into school and/or segregating them into extra-year classes actually labels children as failures at the outset of their school experience. These practices are simply subtle forms of retention. Not only is there a preponderance of evidence that there is no academic benefit from retention in its many forms, but there also appear to be threats to the social-emotional development of the child subjected to such practices. The educational community can no longer afford to ignore the consequences of policies and practices which: 1) assign the burden of responsibility to the child, rather than the program; 2) place the child at risk of failure, apathy toward school, and demoralization; and 3) fail to contribute to quality early childhood education."

<a href="http://naecs.crc.uiuc.edu/position/trends2000.html">National Association of Early Childhood Specialists in State Departments of Education</a>



---



"A study published in Pediatrics, the American Academy of Pediatrics journal, might support educators who oppose delaying children's entry into kindergarten. Students who are older because they started school late tend to have more behavioral difficulties in adolescence than students who are the average age for the grade, according to research done at the University of Rochester.



"Parents want to keep kids out to give them a leg up on tests," said Dr. Robert S. Byrd, assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Rochester [N.Y.] School of Medicine. "But holding children out of school may not give them any advantage, and may cause problems."

<a href="http://www.educationworld.com/a_admin/admin/admin045.shtml">Starting Kindergarten Late: How Does It Affect School Performance?</a>



---



Lots more articles on this page: <a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/kindergarten.htm">Hoagies</a>
 
[quote author="new_to_irvine" date=1243054438][quote author="SoCal78" date=1243052657]This is a very hot topic among parents that is sure to elicit strong responses from both sides. Parents and even elementary teachers will disagree on what the correct approach is. What started out as giving boys an opportunity for an extra year's maturity, evolved into a practice of "redshirting" to give a normally-equipped child competitive strength in the classroom. In the local school districts, the child must be 5 years old by the cut-off date in mid-December of that school year in order to attend Kindergarten. Some parents who have boys with birthdays just prior to that date, will elect to hold out for the next school year. But this crept up to parents of summer-time birthday kids, fall birthdays, and even older. I have encountered a few of these parents myself. One mother asked me why I did not choose to postpone my son in Kindergarten since he has a July birthday! Having a July birthday would still make him five months older than the youngest child in the classroom but to some parents that is "too young". In my opinion, it is most helpful to get the recommendation of your child's preschool teacher. Many preschools will give a Kindergarten readiness evaluation and discuss this with you. I did this and we were given the green light so I had no compelling reason to hold him back a year. In his classroom, the oldest child is 6 yrs & 8 mos old. That is quite a bit older than the youngest who turned 5 in December. This child's mother elected to redshirt her son and has already decided to do so for all of her children despite any indicators of readiness they may show. Some parents will say it's better to pre-empt any problems that may develop down the line by giving the boy a delayed start. That way, if he does not succeed and is held back a year, he will not have to suffer the emotional trauma of his classmates leaving him behind and having to repeat a grade. My comment may sound biased because it is. After listening to all of the debates, talking with teachers, etc... my opinion is that I would send the child on schedule unless there is a compelling reason not to (and there can be compelling reasons not to.) I prefer this over a child not going unless there is some outstanding reason they should go on schedule. I am sure you'll get lots of responses. Good luck with what you decide.</blockquote>


Thank you for your response!

When we were entering K-class back in Los Angeles we were given "green light" to go a bit early from his teachers so we did. In our old school there was perhaps only 1 boy who was postponed to start school 1 year later. Rest of the kids were on time or even younger than cut off date. That was a case for my son as well - his birthdate is January, right after cut off date. He was doing absolutely fine both socially and academicaly in the old school. Now, since we moved to Irvine (partially because of schools, by the way), his social life went south and he doesn't seem that happy and interested anymore. He is getting in all sorts of troubles during recess. When his teacher learned that he is yonger than his classmates, the blame goes on age. It was such an unexpected turn of events that we now consider putting him back in private school. Any advice?</blockquote>


The general rule of thumb for teachers is to place kids according to their social age, not their academic or physical age.
 
I've avoided posting here because I feared that my response would be too long. Being both a teacher and a parent of a 5 year old, I have definite opinions about this. But I will limit my comments to one fact. The state of California adopted academic standards that are between 1-2 years above those that are traditionally accepted and are still accepted in many states. This has placed incredible pressures on every grade level and resulted in the higher socioeconomic level schools having high levels of parents who hold their kids out until they are 6 or nearly 6. The lower socioeconomic level parents still send their kids even if they are 4 because it is free childcare. This results in significantly younger kids in the poorer areas. Younger kids are less prepared in many ways. The California Standards have actually been disastrous for the kids they were supposed to bring up. Do you remember coloring, cutting and playing a lot in Kindergarten? That stuff doesn't happen anymore.
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1243055662]I find it weird that it's such a big issue at that age... is there really that huge a difference between a 4/5/6 year old? (<-- I'm sure I'll get comments on that!)



</blockquote>


I'm sure the gap narrows as the boys age, but from my recent baseball coaching experience, there is a great deal of difference between a nearly five year old and a young four year old.



I was just at practice for our 4-year old All-Star team and the boys that are almost 5 are way ahead of those that recently turned 4 or that will turn 4 in the coming months... For example, my son, who is 5 next month, can hit a line drive off the tee that travels 50-60 in the air and into the outfield. The kids that recently turned 4 or will turn in 4 this summer have a hard time getting it past the pitcher that is playing 20-25 feet away.



We played 12 games this season against teams with boys ranging from nearly 4 to almost 5 years old. It was very easy to pick out the older boys by their skill level on the field. A few aberrations here and there, i.e. a few fantastic nearly 4-year olds and some really bad nearly 5-year olds, but for the most, age did make a big difference.
 
HUGE difference between 4, 5, 6 year olds. Have to agree with Ipop. I guess I'll brag Ipop. My son's Tee-Ball team starts Coach Pitch for the last game of the season and the 3 game tournament (3 pitches, then back to the Tee). He hit a hard line drive straight down the 3rd base line on the first pitch which eventually landed far in the outfield and he ran all the way home, it was pretty cool because his hits off the Tee haven't been that great on average this season.
 
[quote author="kayochan" date=1243064015]It seems that there are issues with the school your son is currently in. Do you mind sharing which school it is?</blockquote>
I do not think that the problems we have are results of "bad school". The school is actually very good and we were impressed with their curriculum, field trips, projects, etc. The problem could be with our son not fitting in within the group of his classmates. It's Oak Creek Elem.
 
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