Author Topic: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions  (Read 350 times)

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Offline StarmanMBA

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The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« on: May 28, 2020, 05:31:07 PM »
The Amazing Karnak touched the envelope containing a deep, vexing question that one of his followers presented for resolution.

Invariably the Amazing Karnak would answer the question brilliantly and humorously before opening the envelope and reading the question aloud.

Were he present today, the Amazing Karnak would touch this envelope to his head and answer:

"A parsec."

Straight Man Ed McMahon:  "Parsec?"

Amazing Karnak:  "Parsec - 19 trillion miles"

(Opens the envelope, blows into the envelope and retrieves the piece of paper on which the vexing question is typed)

"What is the proper social distance from a Democrat?"



(In short, “parsec” is a portmanteau-name (PARallax of one SECond of arc) proposed by Herbert Hall Turner in 1913 to characterize one unit of stellar distances.)

Parsec.png




"There are only two kinds of people, decent and indecent." - Elie Wiesel

« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 01:29:58 pm »
qwerty
Hey StarmanMBA - go fuck yourself :-)

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Offline daedalus

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2020, 08:01:52 PM »
Psh!  Everyone know parsecs are inverse units of efficiency used when comparing acts of smuggling contraband under the Empire's nose. 

Offline StarmanMBA

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2020, 01:08:00 AM »
My newest original pun:


parsec - scorekeeper for a professional golfer

You're welcome.
"There are only two kinds of people, decent and indecent." - Elie Wiesel

« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 01:29:58 pm »
qwerty
Hey StarmanMBA - go fuck yourself :-)

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Offline StarmanMBA

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2020, 09:15:50 AM »
AMAZING KARNAK, TOUCHING ENVELOPE TO HIS FOREHEAD

"STUPID.  REALLY, REALLY STUPID."

Ed McMahon:  "Stupid?  Really, really stupid?"

Amazing Karnak:  "That's what I said."

(Opens envelope, and reads question from audience)

How do all those toilet paper and bottled water hoarders feel now?

"There are only two kinds of people, decent and indecent." - Elie Wiesel

« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 01:29:58 pm »
qwerty
Hey StarmanMBA - go fuck yourself :-)

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Offline StarmanMBA

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2020, 09:49:42 AM »
Amazing Karnak:
"Malcolm X"

Ed McMahon:
"Malcolm X?"

Amazing Karnak:
"Malcolm X, a black man in case you didn't know"

(Opens the envelope and blows into open end to remove paper bearing this question)

"Who said, 'That white person that you see calling himself a liberal is the most dangerous person in the western hemisphere. He's the most deceitful, he's like a fox.'?"
"There are only two kinds of people, decent and indecent." - Elie Wiesel

« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 01:29:58 pm »
qwerty
Hey StarmanMBA - go fuck yourself :-)

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Offline StarmanMBA

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2020, 10:52:10 AM »
Amazing Karnak:  "One.  He holds the bulb and the world turns around him."

Ed McMahon:  "One?"

Amazing Karnak:  "That's what I said."


(Opens envelope, blows into open end, retrieves page and reads)

"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?"
"There are only two kinds of people, decent and indecent." - Elie Wiesel

« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 01:29:58 pm »
qwerty
Hey StarmanMBA - go fuck yourself :-)

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Offline paydawg

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2020, 01:02:52 PM »
I'm not a Democrat....but these are very unfunny. 
Thanks in advance for the 'thanks'!!

Offline StarmanMBA

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Re: The Amazing Karnak Answers Your Questions
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2020, 12:40:34 PM »
I'm not a Democrat....but these are very unfunny.

OF COURSE you're not a Democrat.   OF COURSE you're not.

"There are only two kinds of people, decent and indecent." - Elie Wiesel

« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2018, 01:29:58 pm »
qwerty
Hey StarmanMBA - go fuck yourself :-)

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