The Secret to Building a Healthy Marriage
- Thread starter panda
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irvinehomeowner
Well-known member
Why is this under Real Estate?
C'mon Panda... don't landofnoland us.
C'mon Panda... don't landofnoland us.
qwerty
Well-known member
Panda said:Qwerty,
Are you being serious or being sacarstic?
qwerty said:8 years. Need to decide if I want it to go over 10 so I don't get stuck with perpetual alimony
I was just kidding. Having a 2.5 year old and six month old isn't the greatest thing for a marriage though. It's very hard to find time for ourselves. Once the six month old is one year we will go back to getting baby sitters a couple of times a month so we can go out to dinners etc.
Paris167
New member
I know a lot of parents don't do this ESP when the kids are young but "kid free" vacations even for 4-5 nights are very rejuvenating for a marriage. We try to do one every year, even if it's Close by like Vegas or Napa.
And then the occasional lunch or dinner date. I know too many people where when kids come into the picture the wife is so involved with the kids that she completely neglects her husband (guess it can also work the other way around too - less likely). This is where the "unhealthy" part of the marriage starts. It has to be a healthy balance.
And then the occasional lunch or dinner date. I know too many people where when kids come into the picture the wife is so involved with the kids that she completely neglects her husband (guess it can also work the other way around too - less likely). This is where the "unhealthy" part of the marriage starts. It has to be a healthy balance.
socal78
Well-known member
Panda said:Wow Socal,
18 years and a happy marriage. Maybe you should be the one leading this discussion on Talk Irvine
Thanks.
I don't know if the women on this board would like what I have to say.
One example -- I believe it's a wife's duty to exercise financial frugality.
irvinehomeowner
Well-known member
There really is only one rule:
Happy wife... and you all know what's next.
Happy wife... and you all know what's next.
panda
Well-known member
[youtube]mIl-XY9t_Lw[/youtube]
The "War Room" is not your typical cheesy christian movie. My wife and I saw this movie together, and we thought the movie was very good and touching. This movie protrays what a challenging marriage barely hang on by the thread can really look like in real life. The "War Room" had a great ending and would highly recommend it to anyone here.
The "War Room" is not your typical cheesy christian movie. My wife and I saw this movie together, and we thought the movie was very good and touching. This movie protrays what a challenging marriage barely hang on by the thread can really look like in real life. The "War Room" had a great ending and would highly recommend it to anyone here.
scubasteve
Active member
Married for 7 but have been dating for an additional 9 since college. Time flies when you're having fun...
Perspective
Well-known member
qwerty said:8 years. Need to decide if I want it to go over 10 so I don't get stuck with perpetual alimony
This is why you marry someone earning the same!
Perspective
Well-known member
Panda said:
Choose your spouse carefully, and you won't have to pray to the gods to save your marriage.
socal78
Well-known member
Question: How much do you guys trust your spouse?
I was thinking about this thread in the last few days. I've come to realize that although I'm a skeptical person by nature, I trust almost everything Mr. SoCal tells me. It's like there's no in-between. A jaded doubter when it comes to everyone else. Completely gullible when it comes to him. Don't get me wrong -- I can easily tell when he's lying. I always pick up on the slightest of facial expressions or inflections in his voice. He's often shocked when I can pick up on the tiniest clues he's lying. But, that's not often. He is the person I trust the most in this world. I think of him as being a genius and definitely smarter than me. Plus, he has earned my trust over many years. I do realize we should only put 100% of our faith in the Lord, not man. As humans, we are fallible. But if I sense he genuinely believes what he's saying, then I have little reason not to go with it.
Two examples:
1) Yesterday, I saw this picture on the internet -
I showed him. I said, "I didn't know starfish can walk like this!" He said, "Yep. They sure do. They will also crawl up your leg and hump it like a dog." I swore, "I am never going to the beach again!!!!" He burst out laughing and confessed it wasn't true. Got me.
2) The last time he got a new car, I asked him what the body molding is for. He told me it keeps things from denting your car. I asked what he meant. He gave an example. He said if a shopping cart were to hit the side of your car, it would hit the trim and the trim would repel it or something similar not in those exact words. The trim would keep it from hitting the door instead. I thought it was unbelievable and impossible that a shopping cart would just bounce off of a car door but since he said it, and I knew he knows his stuff, I figured it must be true. Well, the next time I went grocery shopping, I took his car. Can you see where this is headed? Good. Because I couldn't. As I was leaving the store with a cart full of groceries, I decided that I didn't need to be careful with the cart. I let it go and gave it a little push towards his car. I knew it might hit the side of the car but that it was okay because it would just bounce off. A woman was watching this happen and basically had her jaw on the floor. I just gave her a little smile and a "hello" and kept going. She was in total disbelief, wondering if I lost my mind. The cart sped up faster and faster and slammed hard into the side of Mr. SoCal's new vehicle. It tipped up and dented the door before coming to a halt. I drove home and immediately told him what happened. I told him he was wrong. He said that is NOT what he meant, NOT AT ALL. Well, sometimes that's what happens when you trust to a fault.
I started to wonder about this thread and if there are others like that who believe what their spouse tells them no matter what. Or are you skeptical.
I was thinking about this thread in the last few days. I've come to realize that although I'm a skeptical person by nature, I trust almost everything Mr. SoCal tells me. It's like there's no in-between. A jaded doubter when it comes to everyone else. Completely gullible when it comes to him. Don't get me wrong -- I can easily tell when he's lying. I always pick up on the slightest of facial expressions or inflections in his voice. He's often shocked when I can pick up on the tiniest clues he's lying. But, that's not often. He is the person I trust the most in this world. I think of him as being a genius and definitely smarter than me. Plus, he has earned my trust over many years. I do realize we should only put 100% of our faith in the Lord, not man. As humans, we are fallible. But if I sense he genuinely believes what he's saying, then I have little reason not to go with it.
Two examples:
1) Yesterday, I saw this picture on the internet -
I showed him. I said, "I didn't know starfish can walk like this!" He said, "Yep. They sure do. They will also crawl up your leg and hump it like a dog." I swore, "I am never going to the beach again!!!!" He burst out laughing and confessed it wasn't true. Got me.
2) The last time he got a new car, I asked him what the body molding is for. He told me it keeps things from denting your car. I asked what he meant. He gave an example. He said if a shopping cart were to hit the side of your car, it would hit the trim and the trim would repel it or something similar not in those exact words. The trim would keep it from hitting the door instead. I thought it was unbelievable and impossible that a shopping cart would just bounce off of a car door but since he said it, and I knew he knows his stuff, I figured it must be true. Well, the next time I went grocery shopping, I took his car. Can you see where this is headed? Good. Because I couldn't. As I was leaving the store with a cart full of groceries, I decided that I didn't need to be careful with the cart. I let it go and gave it a little push towards his car. I knew it might hit the side of the car but that it was okay because it would just bounce off. A woman was watching this happen and basically had her jaw on the floor. I just gave her a little smile and a "hello" and kept going. She was in total disbelief, wondering if I lost my mind. The cart sped up faster and faster and slammed hard into the side of Mr. SoCal's new vehicle. It tipped up and dented the door before coming to a halt. I drove home and immediately told him what happened. I told him he was wrong. He said that is NOT what he meant, NOT AT ALL. Well, sometimes that's what happens when you trust to a fault.
I started to wonder about this thread and if there are others like that who believe what their spouse tells them no matter what.
Or are you skeptical.
B2FiNiTY
Active member
interesting.
This trust topic came up just yesterday with my in-laws. My father in law stashed away a few thousand dollars and nobody knew about it until I accidentally digged it up. Turns out, he saved this money slowly over the years so if/when the opportunity came, he could help out his family financially. He did this secretly because his wife constantly gets on him about helping his family out too much. While he on the other hand, thinks they help out his wife's side of the family too much. It all exploded in everyone's face yesterday and after a one day cold war, my father in law finally came clean about the money and his wife accepted his apology for now.
This kind of situation would never have occurred though if they discussed it earlier. Yet that is also the problem. Every time they discuss it, he feels a certain way while his wife feels another. He figured he would stash it and give it secretly so they could avoid arguments in the past like before.
What would you do to avoid a situation like this? This type of situation always comes up. Everyone wants to take care of their immediate family first.
This trust topic came up just yesterday with my in-laws. My father in law stashed away a few thousand dollars and nobody knew about it until I accidentally digged it up. Turns out, he saved this money slowly over the years so if/when the opportunity came, he could help out his family financially. He did this secretly because his wife constantly gets on him about helping his family out too much. While he on the other hand, thinks they help out his wife's side of the family too much. It all exploded in everyone's face yesterday and after a one day cold war, my father in law finally came clean about the money and his wife accepted his apology for now.
This kind of situation would never have occurred though if they discussed it earlier. Yet that is also the problem. Every time they discuss it, he feels a certain way while his wife feels another. He figured he would stash it and give it secretly so they could avoid arguments in the past like before.
What would you do to avoid a situation like this? This type of situation always comes up. Everyone wants to take care of their immediate family first.
panda
Well-known member
This is a great topic. Do most of you have similar values with your spouse in terms of your personal finance and giving money or gifts to your in-laws? How would you rate your communication with your spouse? (1) Do you not talk about it and avoid the converstaion all together? (2) Do you have a harsh startup when you do talk about it? (3) You have great communication with your spouse and emotionally understand each other.