my daughter doesn't want 16th birthday party

pricedoutJay

New member
I have a daughter who will be 16 years old this summer.  Unlike other girls, however, she doesn't want any party.  She has plenty of friends at school and church, but doesn't want anything except a small goft.

is this so.ewhat normal for certain teenagers or should I be worried?

I thought about throwing a surprise party by inviting some of her friends secretly, but knowing my daughter, she may not appreciate much and regard such thing as disrespecting her opinion. 

We've done her birthday parties up until a couple of years ago and since she was little older than 14, she didn't want to bother any events where she was the center of attention.

I would appreciate any feedback from parents who had teens going though high school and puverty.
A
FYI we have "normal" conflicts and arguments with her but have very open and good relationship.  Even she mentioned many times and compared herself to her peers how they are lacking interaction and conversation with their parents, especially with dads.
 
I don't know if there is such a thing as "normal" for a teenager.

At least she's not demanding a car for her 16th birthday.

I think it's good that she doesn't want something extravagant. Maybe like you said, she doesn't want to be the center of attention and I think that's a positive trait for a teenage girl.

My kids *have* to have a party every year... not teenagers yet... but I doubt I'll be as lucky as you. :)
 
Kids shouldn't always get what they want, but in this case I don't see any reason for you to force a birthday celebration on her.

Just take her out to dinner, get her a card, a small cake and gift and be done with it. 

If you really want her to have the party that bad, maybe you should ask yourself who the party is really for.
 
Count your blessings. You get to save money and avoid the stress and hassle of party planning! Win-win!

It's her birthday, so celebrate the way *she* wants. A small gift, and a nice family dinner out would be perfect.
 
Thank you for all your comments.  Believe me. I don't want to spend any money and don't like any "parties" too much myself.  I don't want to throw an extravagant party for her. 

It's just that I want to make sure shs's not having any other issues, and not wanting to have a party is a result of that.  I don't think it's the case and as aquabliss said, we'll take her out to lunch, cake, flower, and a gift (she want's this inexpensive thing).

Now I'm thinking since she's taking a lot harder classes, college preparation is starting, and peer pressure (from "all of these genius Irvine kids with 4.0+ GPA and  2400 SAT") is making an event like turning 16 year old an insignificant thing...

I've told her and reminded her many times that we are not expecting her to be a perfect student, school grades don't guarantee a happy life, she's doing just fine, and etc...  Now I'm wondering if moving to Irvine was such a great idea for her... then again it's all same for teenagers everywhere...  I guess enough babbling for now... Thanks again.

 
pricedoutJay said:
I've told her and reminded her many times that we are not expecting her to be a perfect student, school grades don't guarantee a happy life, she's doing just fine, and etc...  Now I'm wondering if moving to Irvine was such a great idea for her... then again it's all same for teenagers everywhere...  I guess enough babbling for now... Thanks again.

Did you move to Irvine recently?
Did your daughter enjoy birthday parties in the past?
Some people really don't like being the center of attention and that is exactly how one feels at a birthday celebration.  My husband does not like birthday parties and prefers to just spend time with his wifey :).  I on the other hand love parties, ha!
 
I'm the same way, I was never big on having birthday parties for my birthdays but I did like going to other people's birthday parties.  Just didn't like being the center of attention. 
 
She sounds normal. Maybe just go out to dinner with family only if she'd like that. She did say she wants a small gift. Ask her what she would like.
 
toady13 said:
She sounds normal. Maybe just go out to dinner with family only if she'd like that. She did say she wants a small gift. Ask her what she would like.
Mini cooper
 
USCTrojanCPA said:
I'm the same way, I was never big on having birthday parties for my birthdays but I did like going to other people's birthday parties. Just didn't like being the center of attention. 

Ha ha, says from the guy who drive a purple race car on the street with almost no muffler.  :)

 
pricedoutJay said:
I have a daughter who will be 16 years old this summer.  Unlike other girls, however, she doesn't want any party.  She has plenty of friends at school and church, but doesn't want anything except a small goft.

is this so.ewhat normal for certain teenagers or should I be worried?

I thought about throwing a surprise party by inviting some of her friends secretly, but knowing my daughter, she may not appreciate much and regard such thing as disrespecting her opinion. 

We've done her birthday parties up until a couple of years ago and since she was little older than 14, she didn't want to bother any events where she was the center of attention.

I would appreciate any feedback from parents who had teens going though high school and puverty.
A
FYI we have "normal" conflicts and arguments with her but have very open and good relationship.  Even she mentioned many times and compared herself to her peers how they are lacking interaction and conversation with their parents, especially with dads.


Super normal...my niece is the same way. She didn't a party either. Just want to do a shopping spree haha..
If she said she didn't want one then I would honor her wishes.
 
Once I hit a certain age, maybe teenager, I stopped having birthday parties with friends.  Most birthdays were just family and maybe a friend or two.  It's just the way things are.  I don't recall any other friends having birthday parties either in their teens.  Instead they were all small family events.  That was decades ago, and I'm a bit out of touch.

 
lnc said:
USCTrojanCPA said:
I'm the same way, I was never big on having birthday parties for my birthdays but I did like going to other people's birthday parties. Just didn't like being the center of attention. 

Ha ha, says from the guy who drive a purple race car on the street with almost no muffler.  :)

I just like the sound of horsepower.  ;)
 
Similar issue here. Two milestone birthdays. Neither kid wanted to do much of anything. At first, I didn't mind at all. We had one of the birthdays a couple days ago. It was really low-key. However, the next one coming up is even more important, at least to me. That one still doesn't want to do anything. He says his friends aren't doing anything for theirs so he doesn't want to either. Ugh. Okay. As if that matters. I told him he will never get to live this birthday again. He's missing out. I said one day when he's grown, he won't have this birthday to look back on and might even be regretful about it. He thought that was hilarious. He laughed and said when he's grown, he won't even remember if he did or didn't do something for this birthday. Whatevs. I'm not going to force him. Although I did threaten to throw a surprise party or do the "kidnapping" thing that friends do early in the morning when it's still dark out... go eat at a diner in your pajamas. He says "only girls do that". Ugh.
 
Do any of you remember your last bday as a kid?

I think it was my 10th... all the dinosaurs had to leave early because the Ice Age was coming.
 
irvinehomeowner said:
Do any of you remember your last bday as a kid?

I think it was my 10th... all the dinosaurs had to leave early because the Ice Age was coming.

Did you do anything special for your 13th? If not, do you hate your mom? Yes or No.  :p

I don't want him to hate me. He may not even remember or believe that it was his choice not to have one, not mine.
 
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